Sunshine
by madpoet08
Summary: SBOC I've broken a cardinal rule of friendship and that is NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FREIND! This is about the Lady Marauder, the fifth marauder...I suck at sumaries, please read!
1. The Lady Marauder

**Sunshine**

**A/N: **okay, so this is my second fan fic, and I like this one better than my first, but that's just me…those of you who read Sirius' Jewel, I don't know if I'll finish it- it's looking like a no, sorry. Anyways, here is my new story- Sunshine! I hope you guys enjoy it

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**Ch. 1- The Lady Marauder**

_She doesn't own a dress,_

_Her hair is always a mess,_

_If you catch her stealing, she won't confess,_

_She's beautiful_

_Smoke's a pack a day,_

_Wait that's me, but anyway_

_She doesn't care a thing about that, hey,_

_She thinks I'm beautiful_

_Meet Virginia_

_**Meet Virginia**- Train_

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I stood on Platform 9 3/4, looking around for my four best friends. I was getting impatient, but reminded myself that I was unusually early. But, still, it had been a long summer and I wanted to see them again.

As I looked around the platform, I saw kids with their families. Mothers looking teary-eyed, fathers refusing to show emotion. Happy looking is what I would've described most of them as. It made me feel that much more aware of how alone I was. Nobody was here to see me off, to tell me to remember to study hard and keep out of trouble, or to wave until the train slipped out of sight. _Whatever_, I thought. _Who needs family anyways?_

I made my way to the train and loaded my things into a compartment. I pulled out the book I was currently reading and attempted to take my mind off of things. But instead of getting lost in who was falling in love with who, I was getting lost in my thoughts of everything that had happened over the past four months.

_**Flashback**_

_An owl landed in front of my plate. I took the letter from its beak, still talking to my friends. But as I scanned it, I had to go back and re-read the whole thing. I didn't take all of it in, only little pieces like _"your mother…dead""wasn't anyone's fault"_, and _"funeral will be arranged as soon as possible"_. I couldn't hear anything; it was like someone had turned the sound off. The only thing I was aware of were the words that kept replaying in my head _"your mother…dead…"

_**End Flashback**_

"Joie! Earth to Joie!" Someone was waving their hand up and down in front of my face and yelling at me.

"What?" I said, somewhat irritably, jolting out my thoughts and back into reality.

"What d'ya mean 'what'?" James Potter said, in mock disbelief. "We haven't seen you all summer and all we get is 'what'/ I mean, honestly!"

"Hey!" I said, my bad mood dissolving immediately. I jumped up and threw my arms around James, engulfing him in a bear hug.

"That's more like it." He said, laughing. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back.

"Oh, and I suppose that ol' Jamesie here is the only one who gets proper hello," Sirius Black said, pretending to pout. I untangled myself from James and turned around to face him.

"Jealous?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, a smirk playing on my lips.

"You know it, babe. Now get over here, I want my hello." He replied, pulling me to him. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and then a hug. "Glad to see you survived Land of the Yanks." He added and I laughed.

"And Peter, you're next." I said, as Sirius and I broke apart. I gave the small, somewhat pudgy boy, a hug.

"Well, guys, I gotta go. Prefects meeting, you know." Another voice said, from behind James.

"Oh no you don't, Remus Lupin!" I said, sharply, shoving James out of the way to get to him. "Not until I get my hug."

"Alright, alright." He said, rolling his eyes, before smiling at me. "Great to see ya, Sunshine." He added, embracing me warmly.

"You too." I said, as we let go.

"So, I'll be back later." He said, and started walking down the corridor.

"Bye, Moony!" James and Sirius yelled loudly after him, to which he replied by waving his hand behind him.

"So, how were the Yanks?" James asked, closing the door and sitting down across from me. Peter sat next to him and Sirius next to me.

"Eh, it was okay. As good as it could be, anyways." I said, with a shrug. It was a downright lie, but I didn't feel like reliving the summer just yet. "How was France?"

"It was bloody brilliant! Lots of hot babes." He said, smiling. "Actually, there were a lot of interesting things to do. I had a lot of fun."

"Lucky." Sirius said, darkly. "Just getting out of the house was a vacation for me."

"That bad, huh?" James said, shaking his head. "I've told you, mate, that you're more than welcome to come and stay with me."

"And I've told you, James, that I don't want to impose on you." Sirius replied, firmly.

"Sirius, you could've come with me to the States. I mean, it's not like my dad would've noticed, he was too busy working." I said, looking at him. "It would've been like old times."

"Joie, I wasn't going to owl you and ask to live with you after…after what happened." Sirius said, not meeting my eyes as he said the last part.

"Trust me, it would've been a welcome distraction." I said, quietly, looking out the window. I wasn't going to cry in front of them- that would be showing weakness and I wasn't weak.

"C'mon, your family couldn't have been that bad." Peter said and I heard James hit him.

"Well, actually, we didn't go to California like my dad told me. Instead he bought a house in Chicago, got a time consuming job, and worked away all summer. He wouldn't come home until after midnight and he'd leave before seven. So, I was pretty much alone the whole time. He didn't even come to see me off." I explained, forcing the tears that were in my eyes away.

"That doesn't sound like your dad." Sirius said, sounding surprised. "I mean, he's the coolest adult ever."

"Not any more. He became a 'business man'. He wears suits now and is a stiff." I replied, shaking my head sadly. "Oh well, it doesn't matter anymore anyways. We're on our way home!" I added, as cheerfully as I could, putting on a bright smile.

"Yeah, home." Sirius said, vaguely.

The rest of the ride went by with us playing games and telling stories. Remus showed back up about halfway through our game of exploding snap. I felt like I was whole again. As though through everything that had happened I could always count on these four boys to pull me through.

"We'd better get changed." Remus said, checking his watch. "I reckon we're almost there."

I left the compartment with my uniform in hand and went down the carriage to the changing room. As I was walking back, I got stuck behind a couple of first years taking their on sweet time walking back to their compartment. I was just about to push my way through them when I heard one them say something about the marauders.

"Yeah, so my brother said that they're most popular guys in school." The boy speaking had short blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes.

"Really?" The other boy said. He was shorter, had dark hair and dark eyes.

"Yep. He said that unless you have a death wish, you don't mess around the Marauders." The first boy replied, nodding.

"Wow."

"My brother also said something about a girl. She's always hanging around with them." He continued. "She's like the biggest outcast or something."

"Hey, I think someone else was telling me about her!" The second one said excitedly. "I heard they call her the Lady Marauder."

"I heard she uses illegal curses on students and teachers when gets mad."

"You know what I heard?" I asked loudly and they jumped, started, and turned to look at me. "I heard that she can kill you just by looking at you."

"You're, you're…" The first boy stuttered, clearly afraid.

"BOO!" I yelled, jumping at them. They screamed and ran as fast as they could to their compartment. I laughed as I watched them.

"Joie!" I heard Remus say from my right.

"What?" I asked innocently. "They were walking to slow for my taste and besides you know how much I love to help rumors grow and become even more ridiculous."

"You shouldn't scare first years." He said, trying not to smile. Behind him James, Sirius, and Peter were laughing uncontrollably.

"Well, they shouldn't be talking about me." I retorted, walking past him and sitting back down next to Sirius.

"You know, you can be really intimidating sometimes, Sunshine." James said, shaking his head at me, still laughing.

"Well, of course." I replied, smirking at him. "I have to make sure people know that they're dealing with the one, the only, the Lady Marauder."

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_reviews are appreciated immensely, so please review!_


	2. The Beginning

Ch. 2- The Beginning

**A/N:** I don't know if I disclaimed in the last chapter, so here it is- I OWN NOTHING, SADLY, becuase if I did I probably wouldn't be writing fnafics...okay, so here it is, chapter 2!

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_You are my Sunshine, my only sunshine,_

_You make me happy when skies are gray,_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't my sunshine away_

_You are my Sunshine- Norman Blake_

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"Here we are again. Another year, another chance to learn new things." Dumbledoor said, addressing the now silent tables. "Before we start this magnificent feast, I'm afraid I must remind you all of a few rules. First of all, no magic in the corridors between classes and no forbidden objects. You may check the list in Mr. Filch's office to find out exactly what those items are. Secondly, no one is to go near the whomping willow as we have had some accidents in the past. And, finally, the Forbidden Forest is, as always, forbidden." He said, his eyes lingering on us for a moment. "And now, let me say two words: Lemon Drop. Enjoy the feast."

Food appeared on the tables and everyone started eating. I helped myself to everything in my reach- I'd been living on American fast food and lean cuisine all summer. As we ate, we started planning things we wanted to do this year. Before I knew it, it was time to leave.

"Hey, guys, I have to show the first years, the way to Gryffindor tower, so I'll meet you up there." Remus said, breaking away from us.

The rest of us made our way upstairs, laughing and joking. I felt an unusual warmth spread through my body as I stepped through the portrait hole and into the common room. I looked around and I finally felt like I was home.

"Hey, Joie, make sure you go to the right dorm." Susan Giles, a girl from my dorm, called across the crowded room. "That would be the one that isn't with the Marauders."

"Thank you so much, _Susie_." I retorted, in a fake, honeyed voice, using the one nickname that she despised. "I would never have been able to have figured that out on my own."

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I'd known Remus the longest out of the four Marauders. We had been next door neighbors until this summer and we'd always been close. That was because I was the only friend he had after he'd been bitten. I never really saw what the big deal was about. I mean, sure, he turned into a werewolf once a month, but he was still the same sweet boy he'd always been. Remus and I have been through everything together. He's the brother I never had and I don't know what I'd do without him. Which is why I had refused to go to Hogwarts unless he went too.

"So, Sunshine, sleep well?" Sirius asked the next morning.

"Like hell." I replied, rubbing my eyes. I'd tossed and turned all night, trying to escape my nightmares. I'd ended up with maybe two hours of sleep. "You?"

"Like a rock." He said, as we walked down to the Great Hall.

"Lucky you." I muttered sourly, yawning.

"Oh, c'mon, Sunshine, perk up!" He said, slinging an arm around my shoulders.

"You know, Black, you seem to have this annoying way of making me do the exact opposite of what I want to." I said, sliding my arm around his waist and suppressing a smile.

"That's why I'm here."

James was already at the table when we got there. Which, in itself, was amazing. What's more is that he was that he was reading a book that wasn't Qudditch Through the Ages.

"Jamesie, are you feeling alright?" I asked, feeling his forehead like a mother would check for a fever. "You're up _and_ you're reading."

"Funny. This happens to be a book on pranks." He retorted, jerking out of my reach.

"Oh, touchy." Sirius said, sitting down across form us. "Where's Moony?"

"I don't know. Remus was gone when I came down. Probably in the library already." James replied, shrugging.

"Guys, did you for get what tonight is?" I asked looking at them. "I mean, honestly, you've known Remus for four years now."

"Wha-" Sirius started, and then a look of understanding dawned on his face. "Oh, right." He said, smacking his forehead.

"By the way, is everything ready?" I asked, lowering my voice so that only the two of them could hear me.

"Almost, we should be able to do it by Christmas." James said, with a nod.

"Excellent, I can't wait." Sirius said excitedly.

"Why? So that you can into even more trouble?" I said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, that's it." He retorted sarcastically. "I hate just sitting here while Moony has to go through hell. I can't stand it." He added, after a second.

"I know where you're coming form, mate." I said, sadly.

Classes went as I'd expected them to. Defense Against the Dark Arts was still a joke. Honestly, the guys and I had taught ourselves more in two weeks than we'd learned in four years. Potions wasn't too bad, but then I wasn't one of Slughorn's pets. Transfiguration was probably going to challenge me some. Charms wasn't going to be a problem, but I suspected that was because that was my favorite class. And History of Magic was still the dullest class _ever._

As far as the social aspect of school went, I was still an outcast. This is because I hang out with the Marauders- three of whom are the most sought after guys in the school. I'd tried to make friends with the girls in my year, but it just didn't work. I'd always hated the drama that came with girls. Guys were so much easier to along with. If they get mad, they hit something. Problem solved. With girls it's so much more complicated. They hold grudges for years. Besides the fact that Remus and I were best friends, I'd just clicked with the four of them so easily.

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"Sunshine! Here you are!" Sirius yelled as he ran towards me. I was down by the lake, skipping rocks.

"So it would seem." I replied, not looking at him. "Unless you're, you know, hallucinating."

"Well, I hope not." He said and we both laughed. "You certainly one of a kind, Sunshine. Have I ever told you that?"

"Not today."

Sirius had been calling me Sunshine since the day I'd met him- at least it seemed that way. He rarely ever used my real name and when he did, I knew that it was important. But I'll never forget the day we became friends.

_**Flashback**_

_"Remus, can I sit with you? You're the only person I know." I asked, as I caught up to him in the hall on the way to dinner one night. It had been a month since we'd started and I was still having trouble making friends. "Please say yes." I added, desperately, because I was afraid that he liked his other friends better than me already. After all they _were_ boys._

_"Of course you can." He said, slightly surprised. "I'd never say no to you."_

_I sat down next to Remus at the table, keeping my eyes down. Like Remus, I was extremely shy when I first met people. Luckily for me, two of his friends were outgoing enough for everyone._

_"Hey, Remus, I see you've already got a girl! Way to go." I heard one of them say. I looked at Remus, who had turned bright red- as I'm sure I had too._

_"Um, Sirius, James, Peter, this is Joie Emerson." Remus said, regaining his composure. "Joie, this is James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew." _

_The first boy I looked at was plump, short, blonde, and he had watery blue eyes. He resembled a rat, if truth were told. He smiled, a nervous, frightened smile, at me and I smiled back. He almost seemed like he was a tag along, like he didn't really belong._

_The next boy had jet-black hair that seemed to go in every direction. No joke. He had a nice set of hazel eyes hidden behind round frames. He was built for Quidditch, I could tell, and he was definitely going to attract quite a few girls' eyes. And then I turned to look at the third boy._

_If the boy next to him was going to attract a few girls, this boy was going to have no trouble attracting the whole female population of the school, and then some. He had raven hair, which fell gracefully into his mesmerizing blue-gray eyes. He had a casual poise of someone who knew he was good-looking. He was for Quidditch as well, but not overly so. Most girls would describe him as a sex god. And the sad thing was, it was true._

_"Nice to meet you." He held out his hand and flashes me an I'm-so-charming-don't-you-just-love-me smile. I looked at Remus, eyebrows raised, and he just shrugged._

_"And you." I replied, shaking his hand. "Sirius, wasn't it."_

_"Yeah."_

_"And you're James," I continued, shaking the other boy's hand, "and you're Peter." I added, remembering the pudgy boy._

_"So, Remus, where did you find her and where can I get one?" Sirius asked, wiggling his eyebrows at me in a suggestive way. I rolled my eyes._

_"Actually, she's my next door neighbor and best friend." Remus said, shaking his head in an amused way. Apparently he was used to Sirius' antics._

_"So, you guys aren't, like, you know." He said, arching an eyebrow._

_"Why? It's not like you have a chance." All four boys looked at me, surprised. Hell, I was shocked myself._

_"Whoa, Sirius, she's first girl to blatantly refuse you." James said, a mixture of amusement and awe in his voice. Sirius just sat there, staring at me in disbelief._

_"So, how bout that weather?" Remus said, trying to cover the awkward moment._

_"Um, I've to go to the, um, library." I stuttered, breaking my gaze from Sirius. "Yeah, the library." I added, jumping up and running out of the Great Hall._

_"Hey, wait!" I heard a voice- Sirius'- call after me, but I didn't look back._

_I ended up going to the Astronomy tower. I climbed up on top of the roof and watched the sun set. This was my favorite time of day- dusk. And then I sat watching as the stars came out, picking out constellations and thinking about what was wrong with me._

_"Hey, what are you doing up there?" A loud voice called out, suddenly, making me lose my balance. And then I was falling off of the roof…and into a pair of strong arms. "You okay?" Sirius asked, holding me._

_"Yeah, thanks." I said, breathlessly- whether from the fall or being in the arms of this devastatingly gorgeous boy, I didn't know._

_"What were you doing up there?" He asked, setting me down on my feet._

_"Watching the sun set and the stars come out." I said, not meeting his eyes._

_"Well, if you trying to hide, you were doing a damn good job." He said, matter-of-factly. I looked at him. "I've been looking everywhere for you."_

_"Me? Why?" I asked, confused._

_"I wanted to apologize for earlier. I had no right to say what I did, especially since I don't really know you." He said, sincerely. "It's just that I tend to open my and say whatever pops into my mind at that moment."_

_"It's okay, really. Don't worry about it." I replied, with a shrug. "I guess I was kind of imposing. I mean, I have to remember that Remus isn't just my friend anymore."_

_"You know, we can all be friends. It doesn't have to be one or the other." Sirius said, slowly._

_"Yeah, I guess. But I haven't had much luck making friends yet, so don't be so sure." I said, depressedly._

_"Well, aren't you just a bright little ray of sunshine?" He asked, sarcastically and I glared at him. "Why don't you give it a shot before you give up completely?" He added._

_"I guess there's no harm…"_

_"That's the attitude!" He exclaimed. "Now let's get going, I think you've spent enough time up here all by yourself." He added, and grabbing my hand he half led, half pulled me back to the common room._

_The next morning I went down to breakfast, prepared to sit all by myself again. I'd convinced myself that Sirius had just been being nice for Remus' sake. So it took by complete surprise when I heard someone calling me._

_"Hey, Sunshine! Over here!" Sirius yelled from halfway down the table. If he hadn't been looking right at me I wouldn't have known he'd been talking to me._

_"Sunshine?" I asked, as I sat down across from him and Remus and next to James._

_"Yeah, remember, you're just a bright little ray of sunshine. Therefore I shall call you Sunshine so that you always remember." He said, brightly. I shook my head at him. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…" He started singing._

_"Okay, stop!" I said. "You know, you're really something else." I added. It was at that moment I knew I'd found four people that were going to have a great impact on my life._

_**End Flashback**_

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reviews would be nice...just a thought ;)

**__**


	3. Boys and Lectures

Ch. 3- Boys and Lectures

**A/N:**I do not own this- as if you already didn't know this- and I should warn you that it will take a few chapters to get Sirius and Joie together, but I promise that it's fairly good until that point, so please just stick it out, it gets better as it goes!

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_She don't know she's beautiful _

_(never crossed her mind)  
She don't know she's beautiful _

_(no she's not that kind)  
She don't know she's beautiful  
Though time and time I've told her so_

_She Don't Know She's Beautiful- Kershaw Sammy_

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"So, Joie, I was thinking that you and me could hang out this weekend at Hogsmead." Ben, some fifth year from Ravenclaw, said. We were in Care of Magical Creatures.

"Um," I said, not knowing how to respond.

"I mean, like a date." He continued. The bell rang.

"Sorry, I have plans already." I said, quickly. I grabbed my things and ran to catch up to the guys.

It was weird, Ben wasn't the first guy who had some up to me. In fact, I'd had quite a few. We'd been back for only a month and I was used to people shunning me, not asking me out. I personally thought there that there was an epidemic going around or that it was a joke. But too many guys had hit on me for it to be that.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, as I fell into step with them.

"I swear the guys are going crazy." I said, shaking my head.

"Why do you say that?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ben that Ravenclaw who's my partner, just asked me out. And he's not the only one. I've even had offers from the Slytherins." I explained. The four of them looked at each other and burst out laughing. "What?"

"Are you seriously asking why guys are asking you out?" James said, still laughing.

"Yes."

"Oh, c'mon, you have to know why." Sirius said, in disbelief. I shook my head at him. "Two words: summer vacation."

"Two words," I said, mocking him. "Not clicking."

"Joie, you've grown some, um, physically, over the summer." Remus said, carefully.

"No," Sirius said, shaking his head. "Mother Nature was _good_ to you over the summer."

"Yeah, I'm not surprised that guys have noticed." James added, nodding. "I mean, even _we_ noticed."

It was true that I'd changed some over the summer. I'd always looked like a mirror image of my mother and now I could pass for her twin. I'd let my curly, chestnut brown hair grow out and it was mid-way down my back. My eyes, which were my favorite part of my face, were a deep green with flecks of yellow in them. I stood at a height of five foot eight, filled out in a full figure, and dropped about three sizes since June. I was never really fat, but I lost all of the baby fat that I had. I'd never thought of myself as pretty, though. I just didn't see it.

"Thanks. That means a lot." I said, sarcastically. "So, maybe I've filled out a little bit. Hello, what about my reputation?"

"Pft, guys won't really care. I mean, it's like, oh, there's the school outcast- she's hot!" Sirius said and I smacked him. "What, it's the truth."

"There's just one thing wrong with that statement- I'm not hot. I'm not even pretty." I said.

"So says you." Muttered James. Before I could answer, though, I saw a few guys staring at me.

"Boo!" I yelled and they sped up, glancing over their shoulders. The guys started laughing again.

"Relax, Sunshine!" Sirius said, slinging an arm around my shoulders. "At least they're not taunting you anymore."

"I almost prefer that to this." I muttered, giving up. "I know how to handle that."

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It's funny how bitchy some girls can be. They'll stoop as low as they can if it means getting what they want. They'll trample over anyone who gets in they way and bribe people to do their bidding. Susan Giles was one of these girls.

She'd been trying to me out of the picture since first year. Why? Simply because she thought I was competition. Which meant hat I was between her and the love of her life- Sir Sirius Black. And that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life! Me, competition, for Sirius-yeah, that's going to happen. But, still, for whatever reason that's what thinks. And therefore she hates me.

"So, I think this is going to be my year with Sirius." Susan said, one night in the dorm. I had my hangings closed, trying to block them out as I did my homework. I don't think they knew I was there.

"That's great." Lily Evans, her best friend, replied. "Just be careful, he is known to be a heartbreaker."

"Well, that's where you're wrong." She said, brightly. "'Cause once he starts dating me, he won't want to date anyone else." She added, confidently. I didn't think this was likely, but then again, what did I know?

"I hope so." Lily said.

Lily Evans was a nice enough girl for the most part. She was smart and stood out with her vibrant red hair and mesmerizing green eyes. And she had one hell of a temper. Most of the boys were after her- including a certain Mr. Potter. James had fallen for her third year when she turned him down for the first time. Ever since he'd tried everything to get her to go out with him.

"So, has Potter asked you out yet?" Susan asked.

"Only fifty times." She replied, in an irritated voice.

"God, he's so full of himself." Susan said and I could just imagine her rolling her eyes.

"Tell me about it. He thinks he can have any girl he wants just because he's semi-attractive." Lily replied. "And just because he and Black are at the top of the class, they think they can walk all over everyone. Remus Lupin might not be as out there as the other two, but he's just as bad. He does nothing to stop them, even though he's smarter than that. And have you ever noticed he leaves every month? Probably playing hooky."

I'm not a very temperamental person, but when people insult my friends I draw the line. Especially those who know nothing about them.

"You know, you shouldn't talk about things you nothing about." I said, angrily, ripping back my curtain. Susan and Lily looked at me surprised.

"You shouldn't eavesdrop on other people's conversations." Susan snapped, coolly.

"I wasn't eavesdropping. I was doing my homework. How was I to know you two were going to come up here and gossip and insult my friends?" I replied, smirking. "Besides, if you're not going to check to make sure nobody's listening, then don't complain."

"You are such a freak." She said, in a disgusted tone. "So what if we're talking about the Marauders? You jealous that I have an actual chance with Sirius?"

"Yeah, right, you wish." I retorted, standing up. "I just don't appreciate it when you talk about people like you know them, when, in fact, you don't."

"If you're referring to Potter, I know enough about him to say he's a stuck up, arrogant prick." Lily said, looking at me.

"Oh, but you don't." I said, shaking my head. "For instance, did you know that James tutors? And while he may think he owns the school, he's not a bad guy."

"That's besides the point. All of the Marauders are troublemakers and ass holes. Or in your case a bitch." Lily said, her voice rising. I was one of the only people in the school that didn't cower at her temper, mainly because I had a vicious one of my own.

"James and Sirius may be jerks sometimes, but they aren't ass holes. I hardly think you know that well at all to make a statement like that, Peter's too scared to be an ass hole, and Remus is the nicest person in the world." I said, angrily. "You have no idea what he goes through, so don't pretend like you do!"

"So, where does he go every month, then?" Susan asked, narrowing her eyes, challenging me. Crap, I knew this was going to happen. What was I supposed to say now?

"He goes home." I blurted out, before I knew what I was saying.

"Why?" She pressed on. Damn her to the depths of hell.

"'Cause his mum is ill and he's got special permission to leave once a month." I said, thinking fast.

"Oh." She said, quietly, looking at the floor.

"As for you, Little Miss Perfect," I said, rounding on Lily. "You should know that James truly likes you. Furthermore you should give him a chance before you write him off."

"I will do whatever I want!" Lily exclaimed, indignantly.

"Your loss princess." I said, an edge to my voice.

"Who are you to lecture us about guys?" Susan asked, glaring at me. "How do you know what they want?"

"I don't." I replied, shortly. "But I do know my friends and I can make a pretty accurate assumption as to what they do and do not want."

"Well, I can tell you one thing Sirius doesn't want." She said, matter-of-factly. "And that's an ugly girl like you hanging around. Why don't you just wise up and realize that you have NO chance?" She added. I couldn't believe she was still on about that.

"When are you going to get it through your thick skull that I don't want to go out with Sirius?" I yelled. Both she and Lily took a step back form me- they had experienced my temper before. "We are friends, nothing more!"

And with that I stormed out of the dorm. I went through the common room not bothering to stop- James and Sirius were at Quidditch practice and Remus and Peter were probably in the library. I went out side and sat by the lake, staring into its depths.

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I was in a bad mood for the rest of the week. What Susan had said shouldn't have gotten to me- I'd heard it all before. But, for some reason, this time it did.

By the time Saturday came, I didn't feel much like going to Hogsmead. But, for the sake of the guys- and to get them to stop pestering me- I went. I did my best to fake having a good time and smiled as much as I thought I could. I was doing a pretty good job, I thought. Obviously, I was wrong because after about an hour and a half they steered me down an alley and cornered me.

"Alright, spill, what's bothering you?" Remus asked, getting right to the point.

"Nothing." I said, a little bit harsher than I meant.

"Don't give us that." James said, shaking his head.

"It's none of your business." I muttered. "You wouldn't understand." I added, looking at the ground.

"Joie." Sirius said, and I looked up- big mistake. He was staring right at me and I knew there was no escaping. He was the only one who could really make me break and never really knew why.

"Fine." I sighed. "Susan and I got into a bit of a bicker earlier this week and it sunk deeper than I thought it would. End of story."

"I don't think so," Remus said, blocking me as I tried to push my way through them.

"What did she say to you?" Peter asked.

"Nothing different from usual." I mumbled shrugging. "Look, just forget it okay?"

"You shouldn't listen to what she says, you know." Sirius said.

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The next couple of months passed by quickly. Susan and I still butted heads regularly and guys were still hitting on me. I tried to ignore them all. And before I knew it was almost Christmas time. I hadn't heard form my dad since I'd left back in September and so I wasn't expecting a letter from him saying- actually demanding- that I return home for the holidays.

"Is your dad picking you up at the station?" James asked, as we got closer to King's Cross. It turned out all of us were going home.

"No, I'm taking a cab to the airport and then a cab to the house." I replied, shaking my head. "Dad'll be working, as usual."

"I'm sure we can give you a ride there," James said. "We're already heading that way to drop Sirius off."

"I'd love you forever." I said.

"You already do."

We passed the rest of the time playing exploding snap and wizard's chess. I pushed going back to Chicago away until we pulled up to the station. As we unloaded our things, I heaved a sigh. It was going to be a long two weeks.

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reviews are always welcome:)


	4. Christmas Surprises

Ch. 4- Christmas Surprises

**A/N:** I own nothing except Joie...and hey, the story does start to get interesting, at least I think it does. And, I can't remeber if I've said this before, but it will take a few chapters to get Sirius and Joie together, but I PROMISE if you stick with me it will happen. Okay, I'll stop talking now and let you read!

_Father of mine  
Tell me where have you been  
You know I just closed my eyes  
My whole world disappeared_

_Father of Mine- by Everclear_

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_  
_I let myself into the house. It was late- one o'clock in the morning- but I didn't think dad was home yet. It didn't shock me, although I wished he were there. I'd never grieved properly over my mother and he always changed the subject whenever I brought it up.

I went up to my room, dropped my stuff on the floor, and fell into bed. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

"Joie…Joie, wake up!" A voice was pushing itself into my dreams. "C'mon, get moving!"

I opened my eyes to see my dad walking out of my room. I got out of bed and stretched. I wondered why dad was home.

"Morning." I said, as I walked into the kitchen. Dad grunted. I sat down and poured myself a bowl of cereal. Dad never looked up from his paper.

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As it turned out, Dad had two weeks off for Christmas. Not that it mattered much. He might've been at home, but he still worked 24/7. I spent my time catching up on my homework and reading books. At night I rarely ever slept anymore. I was too scared to close my eyes and chance seeing my mother's face in my dreams. Never being able to her in time to save her. So, I spent my nights cleaning and organizing the rooms in the house. And then, when all the rooms had been done, I'd go back and reorganize them.

Christmas Eve, however, I was exhausted. I'd spent the last couple of days arguing with dad about everything. So that night I slept like a rock.

When I woke up Christmas morning, I went downstairs to find a small stack of presents for me under the tree. Dad was already up and waiting for me. I saw the present I'd gotten him among his pile.

"Alright, let's open 'em up." He said pulling one towards him.

When I'd finished I had gotten a book on sleeping cycles from Remus- we'd probably be having a talk soon. This was Remus' subtle way of saying he knew something was wrong. From James I got a prank book and assorted things from Zonko's. Peter gave me a ton of Honeydukes sweets. But Sirius went all out- like he always did. He'd gotten me a pair of simple black dress robes that fit me in all the right places and a necklace from which a sun pendant hung. There wasn't anything from Dad.

When he'd opened my gift, he just sat there looking at it. He loved to paint and he was good at it too. Hr used to paint for a living, but he hadn't done it since we'd moved. I'd gotten him a set of a hundred paints and all new brushes, as well as some new canvas. After a minute or so, he set them aside and moved on. He didn't say a word and that killed me. I wanted to cry, but that would be showing weakness. And I didn't show weakness. Even at the funeral I hadn't cried- I'd still been in too much shock.

"I'm thinking of transferring you to a school here in America." Dad said, as we sat down for breakfast.

"What?" I said, my fork half way to my mouth. I was sure I'd heard wrong.

"Look, Joie, it's time for you to start growing up and leave childish things behind." He said, in business-like tone, as though he was trying to persuade me to buy whatever he was selling. "And I think it's time you started acting like a young lady and started befriending girls. Those boys you hang out with are nothing but trouble."

"'Those boys' you're speaking of are like my brothers an they should be like sons to you." I said, angrily. "Or have you forgotten all that you've done for them?"

"You need to do things that are normal of girls your age." He said. "And hanging around with just boys is not going to help you any."

"So now I'm not normal?" I asked, incredulously. "Just because my best friends happen to be guys?"

"I don't know what to do with you! What would your mother think?" He said. My heart stopped and my breath caught in my chest. It was the first time Dad had said anything about mom since she died.

"Mom would want me to be happy. She'd want you to be happy, too." I said, when I finally found my voice.

"Well, I've already enrolled you in Edwin's Institute for the Magically Gifted." Dad replied, as though we were agreed. "You start after vacation."

"Like hell I do!" I yelled. "I'm not going and you can't make me!"

"You'll do as I say!" He yelled back.

"I'll do as I please! I'll-" I started, but all of sudden a hand came out of nowhere and a second later my cheek felt like it was broken. It took me a moment to realize that Dad had backhanded me.

"Don't you ever talk back to me! You had better show me some respect!" He roared. Then he stormed out of the kitchen.

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I spent the rest of the day in my room. I was debating on what I should do. I could stay and try to reason with my dad or I could owl James and see I could spend the rest of vacation with him. I chose the latter.

_James-_

_Can I spend the rest of the holidays at you house? I'll explain why later._

_Joie_

I paced the room until I got his response

_-Yeah that's fine. See you soon._

_James_

I wrote back-

_-Great, don't wait up for me, I won't be there until late. _

_Joie_

I waited until midnight to sneak out of my room. I bewitched my trunk to make it float and I made my way to the fireplace. I threw in a fistful of Floo Powder and said as quietly as I could, "The Potters', Bristol, England".

After what seemed like forever I felt myself stop and I stepped out of the fireplace. I dusted myself off and made my way down to the guest room where I always stayed in. I dropped into the bed and thought of what my father would do when he found the note I'd left him.

_Dad-_

_As you've probably gathered already, I ran away. I'm not transferring just because you say so. And I'm not putting up with you hitting me. You won't see me until the summer holidays and I'm still not sure if I'll come back then. All I have to say is this: Who are you and what have you done with my real father? 'Cause you certainly are no father of mine anymore._

_Sincerely, Your Former Daughter,_

_Joie_

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The next morning when I got up it was close to ten o'clock. I looked in the mirror of the vanity that was against one wall. The girl looking back at me looked terrible. My eyes were puffy, red, and baggy because I'd cried all night and I hadn't had any sleep. I had a good-sized bruise from where Dad had hit and it hurt like _hell_.

"Morning, Sunshine." James said, as I walked into the kitchen.

"Morning." I said, my back to him. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat down across from him, keeping my head down.

"So, you going to me why you came?" He asked after a minute. I looked up at him, feeling tears in my eyes. "Oh my god."

"Dad and I got into an argument." I said, as he came around the table, and taking my face in his hands, examined the bruise closely. "He told me he was transferring me to some American Institute. He said that it was time for me to grow up and start hanging out with girls and to do "normal" things for a girl my age."

"You've got to be kidding." He said, in disbelief.

"No. I told him that he couldn't make me transfer. And then he backhanded me and said to never talk back to him." I continued, my voice quivering slightly. "So, I ran away, and left him a note. I said that I might not come back. I'm afraid that if I do he'll just get worse."

"What if he comes to school and tries to take you?" James asked.

"He'll have to kill me first." I said, so seriously that I scared myself.

"Well, you're more than welcome to stay here for as long as you need." He said, after a moment. "God knows my parents _love_ you."

"Thank you, James. You have no idea how much this means to me." I said.

"You're like family, Joie.' He said, pulling me into a hug. "We'd never turn you away."

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"Where's Sirius?" I asked, as we got off the train.

"Oh, he went back to school early." James said. "Something about his parents."

I was kind of worried about going back because I knew I'd probably have to talk to Dumbledore. And what if Dad showed up? I didn't think Dumbledore could really stop him. And if Dad wanted to take me bad enough, I wasn't sure if I would be able to fight back.

"So, Moony, how was Christmas?" James asked, as we climbed into a carriage.

"It was okay." Remus replied, shrugging. "Weird not having you there, though."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure yours was better than mine." I muttered.

"I'm assuming that it has something to do with the nice bruise on your face." He said, calmly.

"You always were an observer, Moony." I sighed. "Yes, it has pretty much everything to with this bruise. The fact that my father has been possessed by some demon and is trying to make me transfer schools and force me to be more "girlish" and the fact he backhanded me and told me never to talk back to him again." I added, bitterly.

"Your dad?" Remus said, skeptically. I nodded. "There's something I never thought would happen."

"You and me both." I said.

We got up to the castle and made our way to the common room. I wanted to see Sirius- he always knew what to say and how to take my mind off of the things that were circling around me. But he wasn't there.

"James you got the Marauder's Map on you?" I asked quietly so that only he heard me.

"Yeah." He said, handing it to me. "Why-" he started, but I was already out of the portrait hole.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." I said, hurriedly. I scanned the map, but I didn't see him on there. I frowned- was he in Hogsmead? I thought for a minute of all the places he could be and then it clicked. The Room of Requirements, of course.

I made my way up to the seventh floor corridor and the spot where the room was. I walked past it three times, thinking only of Sirius and that I needed to find him, wherever he was. A door appeared and I creaked it open. What I saw made my heart stop.

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oh, a cliff hanger! What does she see? What will happen? Review and you will find out!


	5. Prowling In the Night

Ch. 5- Prowling in the Night

**A/N:** alrighty, here's the update! By the way, thank you to everyone who reviewed, I'm happy that there are some people out there who like my story...it's going to get more interesting as it goes on, like I said, and I OWN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! okay, I'm done, you can read the chapter now! ;)

_I make a rich woman beg, I'll make a good woman steal  
I'll make an old woman blush, _

_and make a young woman squeal  
I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone  
I'm here to tell ya honey, that I'm bad to the bone  
_

_Bad To The Bone- George Thorogood_

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Sirius was standing in the middle of the room with just his jeans on. His upper arms and torso were covered in bruises, cuts, and welts. There were some that looked fairly fresh, but there were some that looked faded, as though they'd been there for a while. I stood there, shocked, for a minute watching him rub ointments and medicine over his body. Suddenly my problems seemed so pathetic.

"Sirius." I said, softly, closing the door. His head snapped up and his gray-blue eyes met mine.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, a look of shame on his face.

"I was looking for you." I said, taking a step closer to him. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing." He muttered, turning away from me.

"So, all of these welts and bruises just magically appeared?" I said, sarcastically. "Sirius, I am your best friend- you can tell me _anything_." I added in a softer tone.

"My dad was giving me my proper punishment for being a traitor of the Most Noble and Ancient family of Black." Sirius said, mockingly.

"How long has this been going on?" I asked, horrified.

"Since the beginning of summer." He muttered looking at the ground.

"Why didn't you tell us?" I asked, my voice rising slightly. "Why the hell did you go back?"

"Because I have no where else to go!" He yelled, looking up at me. He had such a fierce look in his eyes, that I took half a step back. "If I could escape that place I would!"

"No where to go?" I said, incredulously. "Sirius, what about James or me? Or Remus or Peter? We would take you in, no questions asked, in a heartbeat! You know that!"

"I told you I wasn't going to ask to stay with you after what happened last year." Sirius said, seriously. "And I don't want to be an inconvenience to anyone."

"You wouldn't be." I said, quietly. "That's what friends are for."

"I know," He whispered, his eyes never leaving mine. "It's just…hard asking for help."

"Don't worry, we'll always be there for you." I said, smiling at him. He smiled back. "Here let me help you with that." I added, taking the ointment from his hands.

"Thanks." He said, as I began rubbing it over his back. "So I know that I'm not going back to my family. That was why I left early and came back."

"Good, I think I would've had to kill you myself if you were staying." I said, and I knew a smirk was playing on lips.

"Well, is your offer for staying with you and your dad still good?" He asked. My heart skipped a beat at the thought of dad.

"Um, actually, I don't think I'm going back." I said, putting the ointment down and turning away from him.

"Why?" He asked, turning around as well.

"Um, well, Dad and I kind of had a fight." I replied, straightening the medicine tray for the sake of something to do. "And it didn't end very well."

"Meaning…"

"Meaning I ran away." I said, still not looking at him. "I couldn't deal with him."

"Joie, one fight isn't worth disconnecting yourself." He said, softly. "I mean, you should talk to him, you know."

"I don't think he's going to listen." I said, turning around and bracing myself. "Dad's proven he'll get physical to prove his point." I added. Sirius frowned in confusion for a second and then his eyes narrowed.

"Your dad hit you?" He asked, raising a hand to inspect the damage.

"Yeah." I said, quietly. "'Cause I was talking back to him."

"What were you fighting about?" He asked, grabbing a bottle of ointment and rubbing it on my face.

"He wanted me to transfer- hell, he already had me enrolled in a another school! He said that I needed to start doing things that girls my age should be doing. That I needed to hang out with girls and stop hanging out with you guys." I said, trying to force back the tears in my eyes. "I told him that I'd do whatever I pleased and that he couldn't make me transfer. Then he backhanded me and told me to never talk back to him again. I owled James and spent the rest of vacation with him."

"That's unbelievable." Sirius said, shaking his head. "I mean, your dad is the last person I'd ever expect to do this. Your mom's death must've really taken a toll on him."

"Yeah." I said, quietly. Then, without warning, I was sobbing uncontrollably. "It's just so unfair!" I added between sobs.

Sirius put the ointment down and wrapped his arms around me. He was the only person I could ever cry in front of and not feel embarrassed. Not that James and Remus and Peter would hold against me, it was just that Sirius seemed to understand in a way that the other three didn't. So, we stood there, him letting me sob into his shoulder, rubbing my back in a soothing way. I felt a part of the weight on my shoulders had been lifted.

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"We need to talk." Remus said, the next day. I knew this would be coming.

"Alright, ask away." I said, not bothering to play dumb.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" He asked, looking intently at me.

"I'm afraid of seeing my mother being taken away again." I said, quietly, not meeting his gaze. "Every time I close my eyes, it seems, I dream about her and not being able to save her in time. I just can't deal with it. So, I just don't sleep."

"Sunshine, you're mom died, but that doesn't mean she's really gone. She's still in here." He said, pointing to my heart. "And even though it's hard, you've got to move on. Stop dwelling on it, she wouldn't want that. She'd want you to be happy."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I said, smiling at him.

"Of course I am." He said, and I laughed at him. But from then on I slept a lot better at night and I stopped having nightmares.

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"Hey, Sunshine, come here a sec." James said, one night in the common room. It was just a few days after school started.

"Yeah?" I said, walking over.

"I've got some news that's going to make your year." He said, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"It's ready!" I said, trying to keep my excited voice low. "When can we do it?"

"Tonight hopefully." He said. "Peter knows, I sent him to find Sirius. I think we should tell Remus together."

"Yeah, I agree." I said, nodding. "Where is he, anyways."

"Library, he had to go look something up." He replied.

"Hey, Pete said you had some big news." Sirius said, coming up behind us, slightly out of breath.

"It's ready." James said, simply. Sirius' eyes got big and a wicked smile spread across his face. "Now, let's go tell Moony."

"We walked off to the library, as calmly as we could. None of said anything- we were all to busy thinking of what kind of animals we were going to be.

"Psst, Moony!" James whispered, loudly from behind a bookshelf. Remus looked around and gave James a quizzical look. James beckoned him over.

"I never thought I'd see the day where James and Sirius would actually set foot in the library." He said, when he reached us.

"Well, if you don't want to hear the news, then we'll leave." James said, shrugging.

"Fine, get on it with it, then." Remus said, somewhat amused.

"Everything's ready for the transformation." He said, excitedly.

"You're kidding! Where did you find the unicorn hair?" He asked, suspiciously.

"Hagrid has some, in his pumpkin patch." James said. "I figure if we nick four of them, he'll never miss them. See, I've the potion into the vials already. But, I think we should do it in the forest, that way we won't wake anyone up."

"But all five of us can't it under the cloak!" Peter said, frowning.

"I have an idea." I said, and they looked at me. "James, d'you remember that prank we pulled last year where we had to scale the walls?"

"Yeah," He said, confused.

"Do you still have the rock climbing gear we used?" I went in and he nodded.

"Wait, you're not thinking what I think you're thinking, are you?" Remus asked.

"I'm thinking we can scale the castle wall." I replied, and they looked at me like I was crazy. "It's perfect! This way we won't have to walk through the castle and chance getting caught."

"Joie, have you lost your mind?" Remus asked, incredulously. "D'you know how dangerous that could be?"

"Not any more dangerous than half the shit we do most of the time." I said, shaking my head.

"Joie, I think Moony might be right about this one. I mean, we're seven stories up from the ground, what if we fall?" James said, slowly.

"Are you telling me that the Marauders are backing down from an adventure?" I asked, in mock shock. "What happened to the dare devil boys that I knew?"

"I'm with Sunshine." Sirius said, nodding. "I mean, we know the equipment works, because we've used it. And even though we have the Marauder's Map, there's still no guarantee that we won't get caught going through the castle."

"There's no guarantee that we won't get caught scaling the walls, either." Peter said.

"What about the time we tried to find the knot on the Whomping willow and that kid almost lost his eye? What about the time we snuck into the Slytherin common room to pull the Hot Pink Operation and Snape and Malfoy almost caught us? What about all the times we sneak down to the kitchens or the Room of Requirements?" I said, my voice rising slightly. "There were no guarantees then either. And quite a few of those times we didn't have the cloak. Were those times any more dangerous than this time?"

"Look guys, what the actual chances of any one being outside that late? Besides, they wouldn't be able to see us because there's a heavy cloud cover tonight- it'll be dark." Sirius said.

"Well, I have always wondered what it would be like to scale a castle wall." James said, giving in. Peter nodded as well.

"What about you, Moony?" I asked, looking at him.

"Do I have much of a choice?" He asked, and I shook my head. "Then I guess count me in."

At eleven o'clock, I snuck up to the fifth year boys' dorm. We'd decided to dress in all black- camouflage. There were four windows to attach our gear to, so two of would be sharing- Sirius and me. We were the fastest, so it made the most sense. The great thing about our equipment was we had magically reinforced it, so it decreased the chance of anything breaking immensely.

"Okay, so, we scale the wall, go to the forest, drink the potion, complete the transformation, and some back." Sirius said, putting a black hat on backwards.

"Easier said than done." Remus muttered, checking his harness.

"Oh, suck it up." I said, pulling on my black sweatshirt.

"Um, guys, I think I need some help." Peter said, nervously. He had hid harness all tangled and Remus walked over to help him.

"_On the day I was born, the nurses all gathered 'round, and they gazed in wide wonder at the joy they had found_" Sirius started singing.

"_The head nurse spoke, and she said leave this one alone, she could tell right away that I was bad to the bone._" I continued.

"_Bad to the bone, bad to the bone, b-b-b-b-bad, b-b-b-b-bad, b-b-b-b-bad, bad to the bone._" We sang in unison.

"_I broke a thousand hearts, before I met you, I'll break a thousand more, baby, before I am through. I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone, I'm here to tell ya, honey, that I'm bad to the bone._" Sirius belted out, but before we could on, James interrupted us.

"Look, let's focus, shall we?" He said, hooking the ropes to the window as I braided my hair into double braids and put my own hat on. "We have to find a fairly large clearing to do this. I mean if we all transform at the same time, we have to have enough room. And remember, whatever animal you turn into is the one you get. We don't get to choose. So, no complaining." He added, looking pointedly at Sirius.

"What? I never complain!" He said, indignantly.

"Sounds good to me." I said, fastening and checking my harness and ignoring Sirius.

"I guess." Remus said, having had untangled Peter.

"Let's go then." Sirius said.

We went to our respective windows and got ready. I hooked my harness to the rope and opened the window. A gust of cold air stung my face as I calculated the distance down. It was a good drop, but it wasn't impossible. I climbed out the window so that the castle was parallel to me feet. Going down wouldn't be a problem, but coming back up was another story. The castle was made of stone, so there were some footholds and handholds, but still, it would be difficult.

I started to climb down. I pushed off the wall and unwinded some of the rope. Push off the wall, unwind the rope. I kept this pattern up until I reached the ground. I took a stake out of my pack, which was attached to my harness, stuck into the ground and attached my rope to it. Sirius was right behind me, then James, and then Remus and Peter.

"Alright, let's go." James said, quietly.

We hurried across the eerily quiet grounds to Hagrid's pumpkin patch. James and Sirius snuck up to the porch where there were a bunch of thin, shimmering strands of unicorn hair. They took four and we made our way into the forest. We lit our wand to see where we were going and the deeper we got into the forest, the wilder it became.

"Here, this should be good." James said, as we came into a wide clearing. He handed Sirius, Peter, and me a vial of the potion. We each added our unicorn hairs and drank it. At first I didn't feel any different; in fact, I didn't feel anything. Then, without warning, I felt my as though my bones were trying to tear out of my body. It was the most pain I'd ever felt. I could feel my muscles and limbs contorting and retracting, changing shape. And then, it was over and all I felt was a bunch of fur covering me.

I looked around and I saw a huge white stag, a gray rat, and a gigantic shaggy black dog. Remus was standing off to the side of the clearing, a look of shock on his face.

"Wow, you guys, it worked!" He exclaimed. I tried to say something, but the only sound that came out of my mouth was a meow. I was a cat.

"Of course it worked!" James said, changing back. He had been the stag. "Was there ever any doubt?"

"That was horrible! I've never been in so much pain." Peter said, changing back as well. He was the rat. And that meant that Sirius was the dog. Oh the irony.

"C'mon, Pete, it wasn't that bad. And besides, it was worth it." Sirius said, changing back at the same time I did.

"Yeah, I mean, we're animagus now!" I said.

"We should come up with nicknames." James said, excitedly. "Well, obviously, Remus will stay Moony."

"And Joie will always be that bright little ray of Sunshine." Sirius added.

"James should be prongs, because of his antlers." Peter said, speaking up.

"Yeah, I like that, and you can be wormtail, 'cause you're a rat." James replied.

"And Sirius can be Padfoot, he's got _huge_ paws." I said.

"Okay, so it's decided, We shall be Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs, and Sunshine." James said, confirming the names.

"Yep, sounds good to me." Sirius said.

We left the forest and made our way back up to the castle. We stayed in the shadows the best we could, just in case somebody really was awake. We made back to the ropes okay, and hooked them to our harnesses. We started climbing the wall- and it proved to be more difficult than I thought. Half the time I was trying to jam my fingers into the tiny crevices of the stone, as there were no stones jutting out. Then, about halfway up, there was a sudden flash of light. It hit Sirius' rope and it started to unravel.

"_Stupefy_!" I yelled, aiming my wand at the direction the flash had come from. "Here, grab my hand!" I added, to Sirius, reaching out for him.

He grabbed my hand just in time. I held onto him the best I could, and he pulled himself so that he was even with me. He hooked his harness to my rope and I let go of him. We continued to climb, and I hoped that whoever sent the curse was gone now.

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okay, now, you press the review button and tell me how much you liked this chapter...or how much you hated it- either way, REVIEW! ;)


	6. Brown eyes and weak knees

Ch. 6- Brown eyes and weak knees

**A/N:** hey, sorry it's been a while...a BIG thanks to all my reviwers- I'm glad you guys are enjoying my story! disclaimer: c'mn, do you really think I own Harry Potter? Didn't think so...and now, without furhter ado, here is ch. 6! ;)

_Sugar, ahh, _

_Honey, honey. _

_You are my candy girl, _

_And you got me wanting you._

_Sugar, Sugar- The Archies_

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The next month or so went by without too much disruption. We were getting buried under the ungodly amount of homework we were being given. Every night I was up until at least one o'clock in the morning and I was up by six every morning. Thank god for coffee, my savior. I honestly don't know how I made it through January and half of February, but I did. And then the second of half of February things started to pick up a bit.

"Tell me again what the point of this assignment is?" Sirius said, during potions one day.

"It's to broaden our minds and make a little more intelligent!" I said, mocking Professor Slughorn. "And it's another chance for Lily Evans to show off and have Slughorn fawn all over her. It's sickening, really."

"You're telling me. At least you don't have to hear James talk in his sleep about her." Sirius replied, rolling his eyes. The bell rang and we gathered up all of our stuff.

"See you in DADA." He said, as we parted. I had Ancient Runes and he had divination.

"Yeah, later." I called after him.

As I was walking, I was looking over some my notes for Ancient Runes and I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going. Apparently neither was the boy who ran right into me. And I mean _ran_. He hit me with such a force that I literally flew through the air a few feet before landing in a heap of parchment, quills, and books on the floor about five feet from where I'd originally been.

"Bloody hell, are you alright?" He asked, standing up quickly, and rushing over to me.

"Yeah, I think so." I said, nodding. "What was the bloody rush?"

"Oh, I left my bag in Herbology and I'm going to be late for Ancient Runes." He said. "Here, let me help you." He added. At least he was a gentleman.

"Thanks." I said, as he started to gather my things. I looked at him and recognized him somewhat. He was a Ravenclaw in my Ancient Runes class, but I didn't know who he was. He was, however, _very_ cute. He stood at about five foot eleven, had dark brown curly hair, and deep chocolate brown eyes.

"There you are." He said, handing me my things. "I'm Jon Harper, by the way."

"Joie Emerson." I said, shaking his hand. "And I do believe that we are headed to the same class."

"Yes, I do believe so."

We walked along the corridor in a somewhat awkward silence for a minute. I wasn't sure of what to say next- I'd never been on conversational terms with boys before. It was usually insulting terms and even then, I usually won. The only boys I'd ever held a decent conversation with were the Marauders. Jon didn't seem to know what to say either.

"So, er, lovely weather, isn't it?" He asked, in an awkward tone. I looked at him for a second and then burst out laughing. The sky was gray, it was frigidly cold outside, and the ground outside was covered in patches of muddy snow.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think the weather could be any worse." I said, still laughing. He started laughing as well.

"Yes, well, it was an attempt at small talk, wasn't it?" He said, shooting a sideways glance at me. "My friends say that I'm no good at small talk."

"Oh, I'm sure you're better than me. See, I usually get into insulting matches with boys." I replied.

"Oh, yes, I've heard of you- Miss Joie Emerson, the Lady Marauder!" He said, dramatically.

"You better believe it." I said, indignantly.

"Oh, I have no doubt." He said, laughing. "Although, form what I've heard you're a wicked duelist."

"Well, then I guess you heard right." I replied, cockily, as we walked into Ancient Runes. "How do you think I got my reputation?"

"There's more than one way to get a reputation." He said, matter-of-factly. I stuck my tongue out at him.

Class started and we had to stop talking. Professor Brandt was going on about the Egyptian pyramids and how they were significant to the building of today's society and architecture when a piece of parchment landed on my desk. I frowned for a moment- since when did I get notes? I opened it and saw slanted, smooth writing.

_Hey-_

_Do you want to meet me in the library after dinner to study? If you don't want to that's fine, but I thought it would be cool to get to know each other better._

_-Jon_

I stared at the note for a minute not believing that this was happening. I mean, no guy had ever given me a note, let alone talk to me. Not counting the Marauders, of course. So, I wrote back:

_Yeah, that would be cool. How about seven-ish?_

I tossed the note back to him and watched as he opened and read it. He turned to me and nodded, a grin on his face.

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That night I left from dinner to go to the library. I hadn't seen Jon, so I just assumed that he's already left. I was running a couple of minutes late because James and Sirius wanted to discuss a prank they were developing. I didn't want to tell them about Jon because I knew they'd make fun of me and besides, it wasn't like that. I mean, I didn't even know the guy.

"Hey, I almost thought you were going to stand me up." He said, when I sat down next to him.

"Well, I thought about it, but then I thought what the hell." I replied, cheekily. He smirked and shook his head at me.

"So, Joie, tell me about yourself. How many brothers and sisters you have, what your hobbies are, career choices- you know, the like." He said, leaning back and looking at me.

"Well, I'm an only child and I live with my dad in America, but we're not on very good terms right now. I'm an only child, I like Charms, dueling-especially combat-, pulling pranks, and I have a nasty habit of doing things and going places that I'm not supposed to. As far as a career, I want to be an Auror. I can't think of anything else that I'd like to do." I replied.

"Why does your dad live in America?" Jon asked, cocking head and frowning thoughtfully.

"He moved us there over the summer. I guess he just got sick of living here." I replied, with a shrug. I wasn't about to go into my mother with him.

"That must've been hard."

"Eh, it wasn't all that bad once I got used to it." I said, shrugging again. "What about you?"

"I have two younger sisters and an older brother- he's a healer at St. Mungo's. My parents are separated, but not divorced. They want to see how things are going to play themselves out. I like Herbology, I'm a horrible duelist, I've never broken a school rule in my life, and I like you." He replied, smiling at me as he said the last part. I felt my cheeks burn.

"I bet you say that to all the girls." I said, rolling my eyes, mockingly.

"Only the pretty ones."

We spent the rest of the time talking about classes and school and the outside world. Jon wanted to do something with plants, maybe become a teacher. He didn't like the Dark Arts and he loved Italian food. We both liked Ancient Runes-obviously- and reading books. I liked talking to him, he was nice.

"Where have you been?" Sirius asked, as I walked into the common room.

"Library." I said, nonchalantly.

"You were there for a long time." James said, raising an eyebrow at me and smirking.

"Oh, ha ha. I was studying for your information. There's a certain Herbology paper that's due that is driving me nuts." I replied, rolling my eyes. This was partially true- that paper was driving me nuts.

"Okay, whatever you say." Sirius said, mockingly.

"Oh bugger off."

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February turned into March, which melted into April and all of the fifth years were busy getting ready for the OWL's. Jon and I had become good friends and I had to admit that I liked him. But, as I was busy cramming for exams, I had little time to think about it. Besides, I doubted that he saw me as more than a friend.

"What's the bloody counter-curse for an engorgio hex?" Sirius asked no one in particular one night. We'd taken to studying together and asking questions aloud, randomly, if we didn't know.

"Check the back of the book. They always list the counter-curses for _everything_ back there." I replied, not looking up from my transfiguration book. I was trying to transfigure my goblet of water into a cup of tea and I failing miserably.

"Sunshine, it's not that difficult." James said, as the hex I aimed at the cup hit him. "And if you're going to hex things, watch where you hex." He added, irately.

"Sorry." I said, muttering the counter-curse. "I just can't it to work!"

"Look, you're doing the wrong wand movements." He said, impatiently. "You slash then jab, not jab then slash."

"Well, not all of us are transfiguration prodigies, so excuse me if I'm not quite up to your skill level." I said, sourly. He'd been in a bad mood all week and none of us could figure out why.

"Well, maybe if you studied a little more…" He started, but I'd had enough.

"Look who's talking! At least I know the proper use of a book!" I yelled. "And just because you're PMSing doesn't mean you have take it out on me!" I added, and Remus and Sirius laughed.

"Oh, bugger off. You're just angry because you know I'm a better wizard than you'll ever be." He said, narrowing his eyes. I looked at him for a second and then- CRACK! I punched him and broke his nose.

"Joie!" Remus shouted, as Sirius grabbed me and held me back. I was trying to break free so I could teach James a lesson.

"Bloody hell, what's your problem?" He said, holding his nose, which was bleeding heavily.

"You got what you deserved, you cocky little git!" I snarled, still trying to break out of Sirius' grip.

"Look, both of you, settle down." Remus said, firmly. "James, what's bothering you? You've been like this all week."

"That's my business." He said.

"Well, keep it your business then. But don't go off on me just because a certain girl isn't interested." I snapped, putting two and two together.

"Okay, I'm sorry, but I mean, what do I have to do?" He asked, in softer tone.

"I dunno, but you should probably go to Madame Promfrey and get your nose fixed." Sirius said, letting go of me.

I went to the library because I'd needed to get away for a while. I'd been studying for about half an hour when Jon came and sat down next to me.

"I knew I'd find you here." He said, with a small smile.

"Am I that predictable?" I asked, with a laugh.

"Maybe." He paused for a second. "So, I was thinking that maybe you and I could go to Hogsmeade together. I mean, if you want to that is."

"Sure, I'd love to go with you." I said, a grin spreading across my face.

"Really? I mean, like as a date?" He asked, his face lighting up.

"Really." I said, nodding.

So that Saturday I got up earlier than usual and I started going through my closet. I wanted to find the perfect outfit, yet nothing I had seemed good enough. I tried things on and matched things, but nothing worked.

"Hey, do you need some help?" A voice from behind me asked. I turned and saw Lily.

"No-well yes." I said, looking at the floor. "See, I have a date today and I have nothing to wear and I don't what to do with my hair and I'm so _frustrated_!"

"Well, you could leave your hair like it is because it looks beautiful with all those curls. As for an outfit, I think you should wear these jeans with shirt." She said, pulling out my favorite jeans and a black, form-fitting top that I'd somehow missed. "And finally, if you're going to wear make-up, go modestly with it. You have great features, you don't need much."

"Thank you so much, Lily." I said, sincerely.

"No problem." She said, waving a hand. "May I inquire as to who your date is?"

"Jon Harper, he's in Ravenclaw." I said, and she smiled.

"He's so cute. I heard he was going with someone, but nobody I asked knew who. Well, that's great, I hope it goes well."

"Yeah, me too." I said, smiling.

I walked down to the common room fifteen minutes later, dressed and ready to go. As I walked out of the portrait hole, I heard James and Sirius calling after me.

"Hey, Sunshine, you're pretty dressed up to just be going to Hogsmeade." James said, in a light tone.

"I have a date." I said, trying to sound dignified.

"Oh, a date? Since when? And why haven't we met him?" James asked, elbowing Sirius in the ribs. But Sirius had a look on his face that I couldn't place. He looked almost sad.

"Since Tuesday. And you haven't met him because all you'll do is make fun of me." I replied, matter-of-factly.

"Who is it?" Sirius asked, but his voice wasn't playful like James'.

"Jon Harper, he's a fifth year Ravenclaw." I said, turning to him.

"Yeah, I know him." Sirius said, his eyes clouding over.

"Well, okay then, I'll just see you guys later." I said, spotting Jon and making my way over to him. But Sirius had followed me and James had followed Sirius.

"Hey, you look great." Jon said, smiling at me, then looking uncertainly at Sirius and James. "Hello, Jon Harper-"

"Yeah, I know who you are, so let's just get to the point." Sirius said, coldly. I looked at him in surprise. "If you so much as touch her in the wrong way or hurt her I'll make you wish you were never born." He said, in a dangerous voice. Even James looked at him in disbelief.

"Would you excuse us for just a moment?" I said to Jon, then I turned and dragged Sirius out of earshot. "What the hell was that?"

"Look, I just don't like him. There's something about him." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, well, I can take of myself, okay." I said, angrily. " Besides, I don't go around threatening or lecturing your girlfriends. Oh, and there's Susan." I said, sourly. Susan and him had started going out in March and I wasn't about to stay around her more than I had to.

"Sorry about that." I said, walking back over to Jon and James. "I'll see you later, James." I added, and with that Jon and I walked out together.

"So, what was with that little speech?" He asked.

"I really have no idea. Usually Sirius doesn't have a problem with people. And I mean, he's the one who told me to go out with somebody." I replied, still wondering myself. "But, let's not talk about him."

I spent a rather enjoyable afternoon with Jon. We stopped at Zonko's and went to Honeydukes. He needed to stop in the supply shop to pick up more parchment and new quills and I got some color changing ink and a black quill. Then we ducked into the Three Broomsticks for some Butterbeer and we talked for a while. I liked the fact that Jon could make me laugh and that I didn't have to be somebody else around him. He was nice, cute, and most of all, he like me!

"So, I was thinking, even though we've only known each other for a couple of months, that maybe we could go out. I mean. Like boyfriend/girlfriend." He said, as we sat in the booth, drinking our Butterbeer.

"Yeah, I'd like that." I said, smiling. "That is, if you're sure you can handle me." I added.

"Oh I think I'll be able to manage." He replied.

When we got back to the castle, Professor McGonagall came up to me. She said that Dumbledore wanted to see me and that the gargoyle in front of his office liked bloodsicles. So, I said goodbye to Jon and made my way to Dumbledore's office, wondering what I'd done this time.

"Ah, Miss Emerson, do come in and sit down." He said, kindly when I opened the door to his study. I'd been in here before for numerous reasons- most of them being because of pranks- and yet I was always amazed at all the things that he had. "I asked to come here because I was wondering about where you were going for the summer holidays. I realize that it is a tad soon to be thinking about such things, but your father would like to know."

"My father's contacted you?" I asked, confused.

"Well, yes. He came here after you ran away, demanding to know where you were. I told him that you were safe, but that he wouldn't be able to take you because you weren't here." Dumbledore said, with a smile. "He said, that I was to send you home the moment you arrived back at school. I told him to think about what he was doing. I said that transferring you to another school wouldn't solve anything and that sooner or later everything would catch up with him. He couldn't run away, it doesn't work like that."

"So, he just forgot about the transferring thing?" I asked, skeptically.

"After about an hour of him yelling at me, yes, I think he began to see that you should probably stay here. I told him that if he wished to contact you he could, but that I wasn't sure of whether or not you would respond. So, he has written to me instead over the past couple of months. And now, he wants to know where you will be staying. He says it's up to you and that he will comply with whatever you decide." Dumbledore explained, calmly. I thought about it for a couple of minutes. Did I really want to spend a whole summer with Dad? He'd changed so much since mom died and I just wanted my old Dad back. But since that had slim to none chance of happening, I opted for my second best choice.

"Tell him that I am going to stay with James Potter for the summer, but I will visit him for the two weeks that they go on vacation." I said, finally. "Tell him that I miss him and I'm sorry, but that's what I want."

"I shall convey the message." He said, with a slight nod. I rose from my seat and walked to the door. "Although, I think you may find that he has changed since your last visit at Christmas- for the better." He added, as I opened the door.

"Thank you, sir."

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OWL's came and with it unwanted stress and much needed relief. I didn't have any problems with Potions, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, or Ancient Runes, but Transfiguration probably could've been better. Care of Magical Creatures was kind of a joke and Herbology was Herbology. After the last OWL, though, there was a bit of a stir with James and Sirius and Snape. While I agree it was pretty funny to see Snape tortured, I thought it should be for a good reason. I mean, James and Sirius were _bored_ for Merlin's sake! They deserved to be yelled at by Lily.

Other than that the end of the year was like any other. The feast was great-as always-and Dumbledore made a long speech-as always- and everyone was excited for the summer holidays. Jon made me promise to write him over the holidays and he kissed me good bye at Platform 9 3/4, to which James, Sirius, and Remus all teased me about for the rest of the day. Peter had disappeared and we didn't know where to find him. But we assumed that he'd left already by the time we got to the station.

After dropping Remus off at his house, we headed to the Potters'. Sirius and I were both staying there this summer. His parents had "officially" disowned him and he wasn't going to go back anyways.

"Well, what should we do?" James asked, as we walked into his house.

"Unpack first, then eat." Sirius said.

"Is that all you think about? Eating, I mean?" I asked, shaking my head at him.

"And snogging girls." He replied, cheekily.

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okay, you know the drill- PLEASE review! thanks...


	7. Changes and Confessions

Ch. 7- Changes and Confessions

**A/N:** alrighty, here it is, the update...merry belated christmas- I did mean to have this up before christmas, but I was really busy...so here it is, a late christmas- would you call it a present?...anyways, things are going to start to get spiced up here, it's starting to get better- more action! so, yes, that's good...um, I dunno, I think that's it, so enjoy:p

_Some boys take a beautiful girl  
And hide her away from the rest of the world  
I want to be the one to walk in the sun  
Oh girls they want to have fun  
Oh girls just want to have  
_

_Girls Just Want To Have Fun-Cyndi Lauper_

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The first month of the holidays went by in a blur. James and Sirius both played Quidditch and I was a fairly decent flyer, so we spent a lot of time out in the sun tossing the Quaffle around and just messing around. There was also a pool in the back yard, so I had a nice tan going on by the second week of break. Sirius and I had contests to see who could do the bigger and better stunt. I was a gymnast and a damn good dueler, so I knew how to do flips and handsprings. Sirius was just a big show off so, so he knew how to do a fair amount of things as well. James was the judge and I always won.

"So, when are you guys going to Greece and France?" Sirius asked, one afternoon as we laid out catching some sun. We had already spent three hours swimming.

"Next week." James replied, looking up at him. "Padfoot, you know you're more than welcome to come with us."

"Nah, that's the time you spend with your parents every year, I don't want to impose." He said, shaking his head. "Besides, I'll have Sunshine here to keep me company." He added, cheerfully.

"Not unless you going to America." I said, not opening my eyes.

"What? You're going to America?" He asked, standing over me. "What for?"

"I'm going to see my dad. I told him I would visit for the two weeks that James went on vacation." I replied, opening an eye a crack. "Now, d'you mind? You're blocking my sun."

"Great, I'll be all by myself for two weeks." He said, lying back down. "What the bloody hell am I suppose to do for two weeks?"

"You could always come with me to Chicago." I said, laughing at him. "God knows that it would probably be better if you did."

"But I don't want to-" He began, but I cut him off.

"You won't be imposing, I promise." I said, firmly. "Trust me, you'll be making a fairly awkward situation less awkward."

"But, I mean, don't you want to spend time with your dad alone?" He asked, his voice doubtful.

"Sirius, listen to me- my dad and I will have plenty of time to spend together, whether you're there or not." I replied. "And you're like family, so stop arguing with me and just say, 'Sure, Sunshine, I'd love to go to Chicago with you'. 'Cause, mate, you don't have much of a choice. I'm not leaving you here alone for two weeks and you can't go to Remus', because he's out of town, and who knows where Peter is these days." I added, sitting up and looking at him. He looked back and laughed.

"Sure, Sunshine, I'd love to go to Chicago with you." He said, still laughing.

"Good, I hoped you would." I said, as though we hadn't had an argument over it.

"Oh sure, you'll go with _her_, but you won't go with me." James said, pretending to be offended. "I see how it is."

"I hate to break it to you, Prongs, but Sunshine is a slight prettier sight to look at than you." Sirius said, in a mock serious tone.

"This is true." James agreed, nodding. "Those long legs of hers drive me insane…"

"And that incestuous body that she's got, oh, it turns me on _so_ much." Sirius went on, picking up James' trail. "It just makes me want to rip her clothes off and-"

"Okay, I think that's enough talk about me in a sexual way." I said, loudly, drowning Sirius' comments out. "Especially from the likes of two inexperienced prats such as yourselves."

"Hey, I am very experienced, thank you very much." Sirius said, indignantly.

"And I am saving myself." James said, seriously. Sirius and I looked at each other for a second and then we burst out laughing.

"_Saving_ yourself?" Sirius choked out. "For who?"

"Oh, oh, I know, I know!" I gasped out, unable to breathe. "The perfect, angelic, sexy, smart, beautiful, lovely Lily Evans!"

"Hey, don't make fun of my future wife!" James snapped, as Sirius and I rolled with laughter.

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I'd received five letters from Jon and I'd replied to all of them. He said that his holiday was going alright, although it wasn't too exciting. He was going to Germany in July, about the same time I'd be gone. He and his sisters were going to visit his grandparents and he couldn't wait. He said that he missed me and couldn't wait to see me again- at which point my faced burned and my stomach turned with butterflies- and that he hoped my holidays were going well.

The strange thing was, I found myself thinking of him often and I missed him too. But the fact that he seemed to feel the same way about me just blew my mind away. I really could believe it- I'd found a guy that liked me and he was cute, funny, and nice. It was almost too good to be true. But, I didn't dwell on it too much; I was too busy worrying about seeing Dad again. Dumbledore said he'd changed for the better since Christmas, but I wasn't quite sure what that was suppose to mean.

"Okay, we ready to go?" I asked, making sure I had all of my bags.

"Yeah, I think so." Sirius said, checking as well.

"Okay, see you guys in about two weeks." James said, clapping Sirius on the back and giving me a hug. "And remember- don't do anything I wouldn't." He added, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh, don't worry, that won't be very hard." I replied, smacking on the back of the head.

Sirius and I grabbed some Floo powder and stepping into the fireplace together. We stated our destination and a second before we started spinning, I felt Sirius grab my hand, holding it tight. He didn't like flooing very much and he was always slightly sick afterwards. We kept spinning for what seemed like hours and then finally we stopped.

"Okay, we're here." I said, softly, leading him out of the fireplace because he still had his eyes shut tight. "You could try opening your eyes.' I suggested. He cracked one open and then the other.

"Wow, this is nice." He said, looking around. "I like your old house better, but this is still nice."

"Yeah, well, I guess it's home." I replied, leading him up the stairs. "Dad? Are you here?" I called through the house, not really expecting an answer.

"Yeah, up here." A voice responded. It sounded like the dad I knew, but I wasn't sure if I should trust it.

"Hey, guys, how's it going?" He asked, as we walked into what used to be office. Now it was covered in paint and canvases and sculptures.

"What happened?" I asked, looking around in slightly shocked. "Where's the office?" He sighed, looking at me and giving me a tired smile.

"It's gone." He said, pausing for a second as though he were trying to work out to word what he was going to say next. "Joie, you were right. I should have never tried to make you transfer schools and I had no right in doing what I did."

"Dad," I said, but then I stopped as he held up his hand.

"No, let me finish. Ever since Mom died I haven't been myself. God, I couldn't even look at you without breaking down for a month. You look just like her. And then, I just couldn't handle staying in the house because everything reminded me of her and I couldn't stand being reminded that I'd never see her again. So, I pushed you away. I moved you over here and I took up a time consuming job so that I didn't have to think about it. Then, at Christmas, I just didn't want to come to terms with the fact that I was just hurting you and creating more problems.

"And then after you left on Christmas, I was _so_ angry. I couldn't believe that you ran away. So, I went straight to Dumbledore and demanded that he tell me where you were. He clamed me down a bit and said that if I made you transfer I would end up regretting it one day. He told me to give you some distance for a while and to evaluate the important things in my life. So I went home and did that. I thought of everything that had ever meant something important to me.

"My first thought was you and of how happy and proud I was the day you were born. You were so tiny as I held you in my arms and I never wanted to let you go. The love I felt for you at that moment had only increased. The next thing I thought about was art and how much I missed it. I didn't realize how empty my life's been without it. And then I thought about what I'd been doing lately. Working a ridiculously stupid job from six until god knows when sometimes. I'd become the very type of person I hate. A suit and tie wearing, has no time for his family, workaholic prick. So, I changed. It wasn't easy at first, but then it all came back to me. And I made a promise to myself that the next time I saw you I wouldn't waste any time in telling you how much I love you and how important you are to me and how proud I am of you."

I stood there for a minute taking everything he'd said in. My dad- my real dad- was back and that made me so happy. And then I threw my arms around him and engulfed him a hug I'd been wanting to give him for so long now. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back.

"So, I guess this means that you forgive me." He said, holding me tightly.

"I'm just glad that you're back." I whispered. We stood there like that for a few minutes and then we broke apart. Sirius was still standing in the doorway, just watching us, a smile on his face.

"Sirius, how are you?" Dad asked, him, shaking his hand before giving him a hug as well.

"Not half bad." He replied. "I've moved out of my parents and I'm living with James now."

"Good, you never deserved the family you had- you should have had much better." He said, nodding his head in approval. "Hey, about what I said to Joie about you and James and Remus…I'm really sorry about it."

"Hey, don't worry about it. You guys have been through a rough year." Sirius said, shaking his head.

"Well, why don't you guys get settled in?" Dad said, after a second. "I'm afraid that you'll have to sleep in the same room, all the other rooms have junk in them." He added, as we continued down the hall.

"Okay, so, you can take half of the dresser and half of the closet and I'll take the other half." I said, tossing my bags onto the bed. "We'll have to work out some sort of bed arrangement- that is, unless you don't mind sharing." I added, looking at him.

"Hey, as long as you don't snore as loud as Wormtail, I don't mind at all." He replied, starting to unpack.

Over the next few days Sirius and I went sightseeing. We went to the Sears Tower, Millennium Park, and Navy Pier. Dad showed us a bunch of muggle shops that we found interesting and there was a small wizards-only section towards the outskirts of town, which was where we spent most of our evenings.

About four days after we arrived in Chicago, Dad suggested that we go to the beach. He said that California had good surfing and would be a good place to go.

"But how are we suppose to get there?" Sirius asked, frowning. "I mean, it's not like we're going to fly, is it?"

"Oh, dear god, no!" Dad laughed. "We're going to apparate."

"What?" Sirius said, looking at my father as though he were crazy. "Sunshine and I don't know how."

"Speak for yourself!" I said, indignantly. "I've known how to do it since I was twelve."

"You have?" He asked, incredulously. I nodded.

"Dad taught me. He thought it would a good idea to know how to just in case of an emergency." I said, smiling at Dad. He smiled back.

"It's alright, Sirius, you side apparate with me." He said, as Sirius tried to comprehend that I could apparate. "Alright, there's a wizard shop called Tea and Trumpets- don't ask what the name means. It's in San Francisco, so just apparate there and we can walk to the beach from there."

I nodded and concentrated on my destination. I had a clear vision in mind of the words: Tea and Trumpets. Then I turned and with a loud crack I felt myself being compressed into a tiny space then being decompressed with another loud crack. I opened my eyes and found myself standing in the most bizarre tea shop I'd ever seen. There were tables all around for people to sit at while drinking their tea and chat with friends. But there were also a massive amount of trumpets in there as well. There some that decorated the walls and some that were centerpieces for the tables. There was a quartet of trumpet players playing songs for the entertainment of the customers. My dad and Sirius arrived and Sirius was looking around the shop with same kind of bizarre amazement that I was. Dad, however, just walked straight through as though tea shops that used trumpets as a decorating scheme was the most normal thing ever.

"Well, are you two going to stand there all day gawking or are we going to go to the beach?" Dad asked, turning to see that we weren't following him.

"That was the most bizarre place I've ever been in." Sirius said, shaking his head as we walked along the beach front.

"Yes, it is quite disconcerting the first time you see it, but after a while you get used to it." Dad said, with a laugh.

"You've been there before?" I asked, surprised.

"Not this one, no. But there is one in England that is quite cozy actually." He replied. Now, we don't much fit in here do we?"

"No, we don't. " I agreed.

"Well, seeing as we are going to a beach, I think swimming suits are in need of." He said, stepping down an alley. He waved his wand and was in pair of trunks, a T-shirt, flip-flops, and sunglasses. I smiled and taking his lead, waved my wand. A second later I was wearing a black two piece suit, with shorts on, black flip-flops, and sunglasses. Sirius followed the suit, and had a pair of trunks, a white beater- that showed off his nicely toned upper body, by the way- flip-flops, and sunglasses on. We continued our way down to the beach.

"So, how bout some surfing?" Dad asked, and we nodded. Two summers ago, when Sirius had spent half the summer with us, Dad took us to Hawaii and taught us how to surf. "Okay, I'll go rent some boards and then we'll hit it. Why don't you guys go pick out a spot for our stuff."

Sirius and I headed down the beach looking for some available space. We finally found some in the middle of the beach and we marked the space as ours. I took off my shorts, conjured up some sunscreen, and started to lather up. I had Sirius help me my back and then handed it to him to use. I walked a little ways towards the water and picked up some seashells.

"Hey there, beautiful, why don't you come on over here and hang with me and my friends." A voice to my left said. I looked up and saw a guy with shoulder length blonde hair and ice blue eyes standing there and looking at me.

"Oh, that's alright, I'm fine." I replied, sensing not to go with this guy. For one, he was a stranger and for another he seemed like he might be drunk- he was kinda of swaying on the spot.

"Oh, you're a foreigner? That's even better." He said, licking his lips and looking at me with a hunger in his eyes. He reached out to take my hand, but I pulled back. "Aw, is the wittle girl afraid of wittle old me?" He asked, in a mock baby voice, grabbing my arm. I tried to pull away, but he had a firm grasp on me.

"Hey, let go of me." I said, trying to keep the twinge of fear that was in my voice unwavering. My mind was numb, so I wasn't thinking very clearly.

"Don't worry, we'll have a lot of fun." He said, pulling me right up against him. His breath stank of stale beer and smoke, and it was all I could do to not retch right there. I tried to push out of his hands, but it was no use. "By the time we're finished you'll thank me." He added, his hands traveling down my back and grabbing ass. Then they slipped under the suit and, well, you can imagine. My breathing became quick and shallow and my heart started racing.

"Let me go, please." I pleaded, my voice cracking, as his hands roamed up to the upper part of my suit. I could feel his lips beginning to brush against mine when I heard the best thing in the world- Sirius' voice.

"What the bloody hell d'you think you're doing?" He said, angrily pulling the guy off of me.

"Hey, man, get your own chick, this one's mine." The guy said, irately.

"Not if I have anything to say about!" Sirius said, glaring at the guy. "Look, stay away from her, savvy?"

"I'll do whatever the fuck I please!" He yelled at Sirius. Then he threw a punch at him- and missed. Sirius threw one back and got him right in the nose.

"Go away." He snarled maliciously. The guy stumbled off muttering obscenities under his breath. "Are you okay?" He asked, turning to me.

"Thanks to you, yeah." I replied, my breathing and heart rate slowing down.

"God, one second I see you there picking up sea shells and the next you're being sexually assaulted by some bum." He said, anger still in his voice. "Are you sure you're alright?" He added, and I nodded, but I was still shaking. Sirius noticed and wrapped his arms protectively around me.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, I'm here. I'll never let anything happen to you, okay?" He said, softly, his voice now filled with concerned. I nodded into his chest and I took a shaky breath.

"Just do me a favor?" I asked, looking up at him.

"What's that?"

"Don't tell my dad what happened- he'll just over react." I said, and he nodded.

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**  
alrighty, you know the drill- review and tell me what you think...or how much it sucks, either way, I'll get a review, right? **


	8. Just Popping In

Ch. 8- Just Popping In

**A/N:** wow, it's been a long time since I've updated...sorry, I was grounded for a while. anyways, don't worry, I haven't given up on it yet...so here it is!

_Said one, two princes kneel before you  
That what I said now  
Princes, princes who adore you  
Just go ahead now  
One has diamonds in his pockets  
That's some bread, now  
This one said he wants to buy you rockets  
Ain't in his head, now _

Marry him, marry me  
I'm the one that loved you baby can't you see?  
Ain't got no future or family tree  
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be  
I know what a prince and lover ought be

_Two Princes- Spin Doctors_

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For the rest of the day, we surfed and made sand castles and just laid around on the sand. It was fun and it was the first time in a long time that I'd seen Dad a genuine smile. He was laughing too, and having a good time. And that made me happy.

Sirius stuck close by my side the whole day after the little bum incident. I don't think he trusted me to be able to handle myself. Which made me kind of angry, but at the same time I was grateful for his presence.

"Alright, let's grab a bite to eat and then head back home." Dad said, as we returned our surfboards. We stopped into the tea shop, where Dad got some soup and sandwiches to go and then we apparated back home.

"So, what are you guys up to tomorrow?" He asked, as we sat down to eat.

"Don't know yet." I replied, taking a bite of my ham and cheese sandwich.

"We'll probably figure it out five minutes before we go do whatever it is." Sirius added.

"Well, I'll be here working on my art." Dad said. "By the way, Joie, you're paint set is awesome. I don't think I ever thanked you for it." He added, smiling apologetically.

"It was no problem." I said, waving a hand.

That night I climbed into bed next to Sirius and I pulled all of the blankets over to my side. My dad kept the house like an ice box and so we were both freezing.

"Hey!" He said, indignantly. "I save your arse today and this is the thanks I get?"

"Yep." I replied, giving him some blanket.

"So, what happened today?" He asked, after a minute. "I mean, I've seen you duel and you're not exactly a person to be reckoned with."

"I don't know. I think he just kind of threw me off and it happened so fast. I wasn't thinking clearly and I didn't know how to react." I said, quietly. " I don't even want to think what would've happened if you hadn't been there." I added, a slight shiver going up my spine.

"Well, you were a damsel in distress, I couldn't just not save you." He said, grinning at me cockily.

"I was _not_ a damsel in distress!" I exclaimed.

"Oh you can deny it all you want, but I know what I saw." He said, laughing. I pretended to pout.

"I don't think I've ever seen you that angry before." I said, after a minute.

"Yeah, well, that guy was violating you and I wasn't about to stand for that." He said, a hint of anger in his voice. "I might be a royal prick sometimes, but I have always respected a girl's wishes. If she tells me to stop, then I don't push it any further."

"Oh and that's why all the girlies love you!" I said, in the most girlish voice I could muster.

"Damn right." He said. "But in all honesty, when I saw that guy feeling you up, I snapped. I mean, who did he think he was, putting his hands on you like that?"

"Alright, big brother, he's not here anymore." I said, laughing at how worked up he was getting. "Besides, why are you getting all worked up over it?"

"You're one of my best friends, Joie. I'd die for you and you're really important to me." He said, seriously. I looked at him- he only called me Joie when it was something totally and completely serious. "And I just can't help it if I let that get the better of me sometimes." He added, and I laid there looking into his eyes, I could've sworn that I saw another emotion in there- like love. But then it passed as quickly as I'd seen and I wasn't sure if I'd just imagined it.

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The next morning I didn't open my eyes right away when I woke up. I was savoring the last remnants of sleep when I realized that something was slightly off. I felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist and a head buried into my neck. My back was pressed into Sirius' chest and he went on sleeping, oblivious to this somewhat awkward position. I shifted my weight so I could look at his face. He looked so innocent as he slept peacefully- so unlike his true personality. But, I just lay there for a few minutes, soaking in the warmth of his body before getting up and getting ready for the day.

"Hey, sweetie, did you sleep good?" Dad asked, as I walked into the kitchen and popped a bagel in the toaster.

"Yeah, like a baby." I replied.

"Good, good. And I take it Sirius kept you warm?" He continued, a hint of amusement in his voice. I looked at him.

"Yes, well, you know how he moves around in his sleep and all." I said, blushing slightly and smiling.

"Do I need to have that talk with you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. I gaped at him.

"Dad!" I exclaimed, finding my voice. "Oh my god!" I added, amazed that he would read into it like that.

"Well, given that boy's reputation I hope you know to at least use a condom." He continued on, looking over the paper at me.

"Um, well, you see, Sirius and I are just friends." I said, still in shock that I was having this conversation with my father. "Just friends."

"I'm just giving you a hard time." He said, laughing. I glared at him as my bagel dinged. "Hey, Dad, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, shoot." He said, turning back to the paper.

"How come we don't talk about mom?" I asked, after a minute. He slowly put the paper down and looked at me.

"Honey, we can talk about her if you want to." He said, a sadness filling his voice. "I just thought it was easier for you not to."

"Well, at first it was. I thought that if I just didn't mention it, it would go away." I said, shrugging. "But then, you started to distance yourself from me and I didn't know how to react. At the funeral, I thought that I had to be the strong one and that if I showed any sign of emotion that I would be showing weakness. I just didn't know how to handle it."

"Joie, crying wouldn't have been showing weakness, it would have been perfectly normal." Dad said, shaking his head. "In fact, I don't think you've cried ever since mom died."

"I haven't. I figured that if I could fool everyone into thinking that I had it together than it would be easier for me to believe." I replied. "But I had nightmares and I hardly ever slept. All of the time over Christmas vacation that I was here I only slept one night. All the others I just went from room to room cleaning and organizing everything."

"So that was you." He said, a slight smile on lips. "I wondered who did that."

"Yeah, but Remus talked to me and I've slept much better since then." I said, shrugging.

"Alright, well what do you want to talk about?" He asked, putting the paper aside.

"What was she like when she was my age? I know you guys met at school, but I don't much else." I said, sitting Indian style on my chair.

"Well, she was one of the smartest witches in the year and she tried to be nice to everyone." He started, a smile spreading over his face. "But, for some odd reason, she hated me. She would always yell at me if I even said hello to her. I think it was because I was somewhat of a troublemaker. Not like you, Sirius, James, and Remus, but I had my fair share of pranks. Anyways, she would never do anything that had the slightest connection to me."

"That sounds a lot like James and this girl he's head over heels for, Lily Evans." I said, laughing. "She says he's an arrogant, cocky prick with no feelings."

"That was much the same way your mother felt about me." Dad said, laughing as well. "I thought I was king of the world and she hated it. But, eventually, my ego deflated and I did everything I could to prove that I was worth her time. And eventually she agreed to go out with me."

"So, I get my rebelliousness from you, eh?" I said.

"That you do. Your mother always said that nobody would ever mistake you as not being my daughter. We are more alike than you think. But you inherited her good looks, intelligence, and sense of humor." He said, getting up to pour himself another cup of coffee.

"I miss her so much that sometimes I wonder what I'm suppose to do without her." I said, after a minute. "But then I remember all the good times we had and it makes a little better."

"Yeah, I thought about what you're mother would do if she saw the way I'd become. I knew she wouldn't like it and probably would've hexed me into oblivion for it." He said, sitting back down. "But you know, she'll always be with us and her love will never die. As long as we still have each other and we remember her we'll be just fine."

"M-m-morning" Sirius yawned as he walked into the kitchen. He sat down, his eyes still half closed and looked at the table clearly not awake. And that was that, Dad and I had no problems talking about mom after that.

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The rest of the time flew by and part of me wanted to stay, but I knew that I should back. Dad said that he would come out to visit and so I would see him again soon. Besides, James, Sirius, and I only had half of the summer left to come up with pranks and new ways to cause trouble. We needed to get a move on.

"Hey, how was Greece and France?" I asked, as James and his parents walked into the family room.

"It was good. We had a lot of fun." James said, enthusiastically. "What about Chicago?"

"Actually, it was better than I thought it was going to be." I replied, smiling. "My dad and I made up and we caught up."

"Well, good, things are back to normal then." He said, smiling back. "Where's Padfoot?"

"Upstairs somewhere." I said, and he left the room. I was reading a book on Charms and their origination's, when Mrs. Potter walked in.

"Joie, there's a young man here who says that he knows you." She said, before walking into the kitchen. I walked out into the entrance hall and saw Jon standing there.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked, smiling.

"Well, I figured that we needed to something since I haven't seen at all this summer." He replied, giving me a hug.

"What were you thinking?" I asked, looking at him.

"How about the Quidditch cup between England and Ireland?" He asked, fanning two tickets out.

"Oh my god! How did you get tickets? It's been sold out _forever_!" I squealed. Okay, I don't squeal very often, but I mean, c'mon, it's the _Qudditch cup_.

"Well, my dad knows the ticket guy at the Ministry and he got them early. But, he had to back out because he had to work. The game starts in about two hours, so we should get a move one." He said, moving towards the door.

"Alright, let me just go tell James and Sirius where I'm going." I replied, backing over to the stairs.

"Sirius is here?" He said, his eyebrows raising.

"Yeah, but hey, don't worry, I'll be back in two shakes of a broomstick." I said, brushing off his more than meaningful look. Sirius was my best friend, not competition.

"Hey, guys, I'm leaving for a while." I said, poking my head in James' room.

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Jon showed up and, get this, he has two tickets to the Qudditch cup!" I said, excitedly. James mouth dropped open, while Sirius stiffened.

"You're joking! But that's been sold out! I mean, it's impossible to get tickets." James said, in disbelief.

"Yeah, well, his dad knows the ticket guy, I guess." I replied, smiling broadly. "Anyways, I'll be back later, don't wait up for me."

"Have fun!" James called, a hint of jealousy in his voice. Sirius didn't say anything.

"Alright, let's go." I said, opening the front door.

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We got to the stadium just in time. There were thousands of fans there and it was a madhouse. We had great seats- right up top level with the action. Jon had bought rosettes and banners proclaiming his loyalty to the English and I had an Irish hat on. I loved my country, I did, but nothing beat the Irish at Qudditch.

The game started and the Irish pulled ahead. Jon and I had a bet going- whichever team won, the loser had to whatever the winner wanted. I didn't think it would be a problem for me as my team was already ahead by fifty points. I smiled smugly at Jon and he just smiled back. Then, about ten minutes later the English pulled back and gained ahead. If the Irish caught the snitch, it was it was all over and they would win. But if the English caught it, they won. Everyone was the edge of their seats as the two seekers went into a sharp dive. They were neck and neck, getting closer and closer, until-

"AND WILLIAMS HAS THE SNITCH! ENGLAND WINS THE CUP!" The commentator shouted into the microphone.

"Well, how bout that, eh?" Jon said, and I could hear the smugness in his voice. "Looks like my team won."

"So it would seem." I replied, indifferently. "What will it be, oh master of the universe?" I added, bowing down low to him.

"Oh, I think I like this." He said, rubbing his hands together. "I think I want you and me to go and have nice dinner together and then I want you to meet my parents. After that, we can take a walk in the park before I drop you off at the Potters' and maybe, quite possibly, get a kiss in there too."

"I think that can be arranged." I said, giving him a sideways glance.

"Well, good." He replied, smiling at me.

Dinner was at this expensive restaurant and Jon insisted on paying. I protested to no end, but he told me I had to whatever he wanted. So, I gave in. When we went back to his house, I was beginning to get nervous. I was meeting his parents and I didn't know how I was supposed to act. I kept fidgeting the whole way there and more than once, Jon reached over to grab my hand to silence it.

"Stop worrying, you'll be fine. Just be yourself, they're going to love you." He said, reassuringly.

"Okay." I replied, trusting him.

He was right- his parents loved me and kept making such a big fuss over how their little boy was growing up. I think it embarrassed Jon, actually. His mom and dad were very nice and they had a certain charm about them that just made me feel warm and welcome. They said that Jon talked of almost nothing but me and that they were glad to finally meet the girl that stolen his heart. I blushed at this, but it made me feel happy all the same.

"Sorry about them. It's just, they get excited over everything." He said, as we left to go take a walk. There was a park nearby and it was a gorgeous night out. "I mean, they're so involved in _everything_ in my life."

"Well, at least they care." I said, thinking of Sirius and his family. "Some people aren't so lucky."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed. "So, when do I get to meet your parents?" He asked, looking at me.

"Actually, it's just my dad and me." I said, looking at the ground. "And he's in America, so I'm not sure."

"Where's your mum?" He asked, curiously. "Wait, that's nosy and insensitive of me, don't answer that." He added quickly. I laughed.

"It's fine, really." I said, smiling. "She died a little over a year ago. I miss her a lot, but it's getting better- and easier- to handle."

"I'm sorry. I don't what I'd do if my mum were to die." He said, quietly. I looked at my watch.

"I can't believe it's 12:30 already." I said, surprised at how fast the time had gone by. "I should really be getting back."

"Alright, well, then let's go." He said, and we headed back to his house and then Flooed back to James'.

"Well, here we are." I said, looking at the ground and then back up at him.

"Yeah, here we are." He said. Then he leaned in and placed a soft, but breath taking all the same, kiss on my lips. "See you later." He whispered before stepping back into the grate and flooing back home.

"So, I take your date went well?" A voice from behind me said, scaring the bejesus out of me. I spun around and saw Sirius standing there.

"Have you been waiting up for me." I asked, walking towards him.

"I told Mrs. Potter that I'd make sure you were home before I went to bed." He replied, with a shrug. "I'd almost given up on you."

"Like you have any room to talk, Mr. I-snog-any-decent-looking-girl." I scoffed, and he smiled. Something didn't seem right; he was acting very strange. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He replied, easily. I decided not to push it. He's been acting like this for a while now.

"Alright, if you say so." I said, shrugging, walking past him to go upstairs. "Good night, Padfoot."

"Night, Sunshine."

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and now review if you will...please?


	9. A New Year, A New Beginning

Ch. 9- A new year, a new beginning

**A/N:** okay, so I'm sorry for the wait, I just got really busy with school stuff...anyways, here is the new chapter and I have feeling you guys will hate me by the end of it, but you'll see why...this is where it starts to get kinda excting, so, yeah, enjoy:p

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_We were strangers  
Starting out on a journey  
Never dreaming  
What we'd have to go through  
Now here we are  
And I'm suddenly standing  
At the beginning with you  
At The Beginning- Richard Marx and Donna Lewis_

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The rest of the summer went by quickly and soon enough it was time to go back to Hogwarts. Sirius had pretty much returned to normal after that night, but I still felt like he was holding something back. I didn't ask him, though, because I knew he would just side step me. If he didn't want to tell me then I wasn't going to pry.

"Alright, do you guys have everything?" Mrs. Potter asked, as we gathered in the front hall.

"Hope so, cause I'm not going back upstairs." James said, shrugging. Mrs. Potter just smiled and shook her head.

The ride to King's Cross was a relatively uneventful one, but that was okay. I kind of enjoyed the peace and quiet. It wasn't very often that we just sat there with our thoughts and I wouldn't want to do it all the time. But every once in a great while was always nice.

We got to the station and loaded up our trunks. Then we wen through the barrier to the other side. It was busy with parents talking to their children and students running around looking for compartments. Mrs. Potter pulled Sirius and I into a hug and said good bye. We both thanked her for everything she'd done for us and she insisted that it had been nothing. Then we backed off for a minute so that she and James could have a minute.

"Well, I see you're both still alive and well." Came a voice from behind us. We turned to see Remus standing there with a smile on his face.

"Moony! Man, all summer and not once did you drop an owl or come over to see us." Sirius said, in a mock hurt voice.

"Well, I would have, but we were gone most of the holiday. My parents decided to back pack across Europe and then take one those long road trips across the USA." He said, with a shrug. "It was fun for the most part, but I'm glad to have sometime to myself now."

"Yeah, well, that's good then." Sirius replied, nodding.

"And I heard all about whats-his-name dropping by. He took you to the Qudditch Cup, right?" Remus said, looking at me.

"Yep, and it was amazing!" I said, trying to bite back the smile that was creeping across my face.

"Oh, look, Padfoot, she's blushing!" He said, in a would be cutesy voice, grabbing Sirius by the sleeve and jumping up and down like a little girl. "Since when does Joie Emerson blush?"

"Since she fell in love with Jon, the Ravenclaw." Sirius said, before I could even open my mouth to answer. His voice sounded playful, but there was an edge to it that both Remus and I noticed. Thankfully, James chose that moment to come in.

"Hey, Moony, mate, how ya doin'?" He asked, clapping Remus on the back.

"Great." He replied, looking from Sirius to me, a confused look on his face. But he regained his composure and smiled at James. "Let's get a compartment, then."

We made our way along the train, dodging everything from animals to first years. Remus told us all about his family bonding time and I told him about my dad. We sat down in a compartment near the end of the train and I pulled out a pack of muggle playing cards.

"What in the bloody hell are those?" Sirius asked, looking at the cards as if they would suddenly come alive and attack.

"They're called cards and they're a form of muggle entertainment." I replied, laughing at him.

"Hey, they look kinda like exploding snap cards!" James said, taking the pack and turning them over in his hands.

"Eh, kinda. Except these don't explode." I said, shrugging.

"Okay, then what are they good for?" Sirius asked, skeptically.

"Well, there are endless games you can play with them." I replied, taking them back from James and opening them. I held the deck up to show them. "This is referred to as a deck of cards. You need fifty-two cards to make a deck. With me so far?"

"Yeah." Remus said, and the other two nodded.

"Okay, so you want the cards to be as mixed up as possible and to do that you have to shuffle them, like this." I said, shuffling the deck and bridging them back together. "Then you're ready to deal out whatever game you're playing. My personal favorites are Speed, Bull Shit, King's Corner, Trash, and Egyptian Rat Screw. There's a few more, but those are the ones I play the most. Or I used to play the most anyways."

"Okay, so can you teach us?" James asked, looking at the cards excitedly. I laughed at him.

"Yeah, let's see…how about Bull Shit cause we have enough people to play that." I replied, dealing the cards out. "Now, you can look at your cards, but you don't want anybody else to see what you have. The object of this game is to be the first to get rid of your cards. Now, the way you do that is by either telling the truth or bull shitting it. We go around in a circle, starting with the ace of spades, and you have to go in numerical order, putting them face down. If we're on, say eight's, and you don't have any, then you put down another card and say it's an eight. If somebody says bull shit, then you have to take all the cards in the pile. If were to put down an eight and somebody said bull shit, then they would have to take all the cards. The important thing to remember in this game is to keep a poker face the whole time."

"Sounds simple enough." Remus said, shrugging.

"Yes, well, this game can get pretty heated." I said, smirking at him. "Alright whoever has the ace of spades can start if everybody's ready."

"Wait, can we put more than one card down?" Sirius asked, frowning as he looked at his cards.

"Yes, the most you can put down is four." I replied, and he nodded, still looking at his cards.

"Okay, two aces." He said, laying two cards down.

"Three twos." James said, laying his cards down.

"Bull shit." I said, not looking at him.

"How do you know?" He asked, surprised.

"Because I do, now pick 'em up." I said, looking up. He grumbled and picked the cards up.

"One three." Remus said.

"Two fours." I said, putting two cards down.

"Bull shit!" James all but yelled. I looked at him, and cocked an eyebrow.

"Take 'em, Prongsie." I said, grinning evilly at him. "You have to learn how to read you're opponents, you can't just randomly yell it out."

"Okay, two five's." Sirius said, continuing.

"Bull shit." This time it came from Remus. We all looked at him. "You heard me." He added, looking at Sirius. Sirius picked the cards up.

"One six." Remus said and his play went unchallenged.

"Two sevens." I said.

"Bull shit." Sirius said, looking at me.

"You sure bout that?" I asked, in an even tone.

"Sure am." He replied and I picked the cards up.

And that's how it went for a while. James eventually started getting the hang of it and it was turning into a vicious game. I was winning, but I was running out cards to play. Remus wasn't far behind me and James currently had the most cards. There was a huge pile in the middle and we were all casting sideways glances at everyone. And then, in a turn of events, James bull shitted me and I had to pick up the huge pile of cards. Remus ended up winning.

"That was a fun, but long, game." Sirius said, looking at his watch, We'd been playing for an hour and a half.

"Well, it all depends on how good the players are. Sometimes a game will only last like fifteen minutes." I said, shrugging.

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When we pulled into Hogsmeade, I was more than ready to get up to the castle. There was a feast with my name on it. Sirius and James seemed to have been thinking along the same lines as me, because they were all but running to the carriages. Remus just followed us, shaking his head. When we were all in, something seemed off to me. I couldn't figure out what at first, but then it hit me.

"Hey, has anybody seen Peter?" I asked, frowning.

"Nope, I didn't see him on the train." James said, with a shrug.

"Wait, did anybody hear from him over the summer?" Remus asked, looking from James to Sirius to me.

"We didn't hear from him." Sirius said, shaking his head.

"Which is weird, because we usually at least hear from him." Remus said, frowning too. "I wonder where he is."

"I dunno, but we'll probably see him in just a bit at the feast." James said, shrugging again.

"Yeah, you're probably right." I said, with a slight nod.

We walked inside to the Great Hall and sat down. Peter did indeed show up and when we asked where he'd been, he's just replied with, "Around." He was acting very strange, stranger than usual. He was more fidgety than he normally was and he would never make eye contact with any of us. Sirius and I raised our eyebrows at each other, but neither of us said anything.

The food was supremely delicious, as usual, and Dumbledore gave his usual speech with all the things that the students were forbidden to do. Nothing had really changed and that was a comforting thought. It was the same old Hogwarts with the same old teachers. When we were dismissed for bed, I saw Jon heading over to me and I told the guys that I would catch up with them.

"Hey there." He said, as he reached me.

"Hey yourself." I replied, smiling at him.

"So, I think we should find a nice empty class room." He said, a sly edge in voice.

"Oh and what would we do in this empty class room?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Talk and be perfect angels, of course." He said, seriously.

"Try again." I said, skeptically.

"Alright," He sighed, "we would snog until we got caught."

"That was exactly what I was thinking." I said, and he smiled.

He led me into a classroom on the second floor. It was one of the back up rooms that was never used. He closed the door and turned to face me. I smirked at him as if to say 'Kiss me if you dare' and he smirked back. And then we spent a lovely hour snogging. I have to say, Jon is an _exceptional_ kisser.

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The next day classes started and as usual I was running late. I'd woken up late and nobody in my dorm had felt like getting me up. Lovely bunch of wenches, they are. So, not only did I miss breakfast, I was also late to Transfiguration. And of course, Susan sat there and snickered the entire time McGonagall lectured me about the importance of punctuality. It was a bad beginning to a crap day.

"You seem to be having a wonderful day." Jon said, sitting down next to me in the library later that night.

"Oh, yes, It's been bloody peachy." I replied, bitterly.

"Well, would it be better if I did something to improve it?" He asked, lacing his fingers through mine.

"Something being along the lines of last night?" I asked, looking at him.

"Yeah, along the lines of that." He replied, smiling.

"Well, then, I would say that would make it tremendously better." I said, smiling back. He pulled me up and led me out of the library.

We ended up in a broom closet. We'd probably been there for a good half an hour when all of sudden the door swung open. Jon and I broke apart to look at whoever opened it. It was Sirius.

"Oh, god." We said at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, stupidly.

"What does it look like, smart one?" I asked, wiping at my mouth.

"You really should consider going somewhere more private you know." He said, raising an eyebrow at me. Susan was with him and looked shocked that I happened to be snogging a very hot guy.

"Like you have any room to talk." I said, angrily. "You do it out in the open!"

"Yes, well, that's me. And I'm experienced." He shot back. I stood there for a second in shock that he would say that; what was his problem lately? Then I got my senses back and I stepped up to him and smacked him hard across the face.

"You're a prick is what you are." I snapped, before walking off.

"Hey, Joie, are you okay?" Jon asked, coming up behind me.

"Yeah, I just got a little worked up." I said, nodding.

"Hey, don't worry about him, he doesn't know what he's talking about." He said, stroking my cheek with hand. I didn't bother to point out that Sirius was my best friend, and therefore, knew what he was talking about. I just let myself get lost in Jon again.

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Over the next month, my relationship with Jon got more and more serious. He always ate with me- usually at the Ravenclaw table- and we studied together every night in the library. Or went to his dorm and snogged. I didn't realize it, but he was taking up more of my time and I rarely ever saw the guys anymore. I mean, there were always the moonlight excursions, but those only came around once a month. What I failed to realize was how possessive Jon was becoming. Every time I talked to a guy that he didn't know very well, he would get very jealous and always accuse me of trying to cheat. But I always just brushed it off as him being concerned. I was blinded by how much I liked being with him. But that changed one night.

"Hey, Joie, I don't want you to hang around with the Marauders anymore." He said, one night.

"What?" I asked, laughing. But when I looked at him, I saw he was dead serious.

"Yeah, well, I just don't think that they're a good influence on you." He replied, shrugging. "So, I don't want you talking to them, doing things with them, or even associating yourself with them anymore."

"You have got to be kidding me!" I said, in disbelief. "You can't tell me who to hang with!"

"Well, I think it's fair, since you are _my_ girlfriend." He said.

"Yes, well, they are _my_ friends." I said.

"Okay, listen, if you want to keep this relationship going, then you'll dump Black and his posse." Jon said, his voice starting to get an angry edge to it. "And I suggest that you do dump them."

"Or what?" I said, challenging him. Which apparently was not a good idea. Before I knew what happened, he had backhanded me across the face. It stung, but I didn't think it was going to leave a mark.

"Now, I suggest that you heed my words. Or the next time it'll be a whole hell of a lot more than just a smack across the face." He said, in a dangerous voice. All I could do was nod. "I'm only doing this because I care about you."

And with that he left. I stood there for a few minutes processing what had just happened. I had two choices. I could just ignore Jon and keep on being friends with the guys and test the waters. Or I could take this as a lesson and detach myself from them. I decided to go with the latter.

"Hey, Joie, what's up?" Remus asked, as I sat down in the Common Room.

"Not much." I said, not looking at him. It was going to kill me, to give the guys up, but I didn't think that Jon was bluffing when he said it would get worse.

"I hardly ever see you anymore." He said, a tired, somewhat hurt tone in his voice.

"Yeah, it's too bad." I said, trying to keep my voice flat. "Well, I'm off to bed, I'm beat." I added, and I stood and went up to the girl's dorm before he had a chance to answer.

The next day I got up and I felt like crap. I showered, got dressed, and went down to breakfast. I sat by myself at Gryffindor table and ate as quickly as I could. I got up and left as soon I saw the guys heading my way. I knew it wouldn't be that easy, but I hoped that at least in the corridors it would less likely that Jon would see us.

"Hey! Sunshine, wait up!" I could hear Sirius calling after me. I kept walking, knowing that they would catch up with me eventually. James was the first to reach me.

"Hey, what's up with you?" James asked, spinning me around.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I said, avoiding their eyes. "Why would something be up?"

"Um, maybe because you're hardly around anymore, you barely said ten words to me last night, and the fact that you didn't sit by us at breakfast and practically ran at the sight of us." Remus said, frowning. I glanced around making sure that neither Jon nor any of his friends were around.

"Look, I've just been busy, okay? I mean, you're over reacting." I replied, shrugging and trying to sound nonchalant.

"Does this change have anything to do with Jon?" Sirius asked, looking at me. I looked at him and tried to muster a smile.

"Of course not! Why would it have anything to do with Jon?" I asked, with a laugh. Except the laugh didn't sound like me at all and the guys noticed too.

"Look, if he's hurting you in any way, I'm going to hunt him down and kill him!" Sirius said, threateningly. I felt my heartbeat quicken and a wave of panic washed over me. If any of them confronted Jon, then it would just get worse. I couldn't let that happen.

"No, really, it's got nothing to do with Jon. I promise." I said, as evenly as I could. The three of them exchanged a glance, before they all nodded.

"Fine, but let's just keep it that way, eh?" Sirius said. "I don't like him."

"And why not?" I asked, wondering what Sirius had against Jon. Not that he wasn't justified; it was just that he'd been like this since the beginning.

"Well, mainly because I don't think he's good enough for you and besides, he's a slime." He replied, with a shrug. Oh sure, he tells me this now, after I have to find out about it myself.

"How is he a slime?" I scoffed, keeping up my front.

"It's just things I've heard about the guy. But hey, if he's treating you okay, then there's nothing to worry about, right?" Sirius said, giving me a meaningful look. I nodded. "C'mon let's get to class."

The rest of the day I spent trying to avoid Jon and the guys. It was hard and I was miserable, but it was necessary. I didn't want to piss Jon off again.

"Hey, meet me by the lake tonight at eight." He said, as we left Ancient Runes. "We need to talk."

The first thought that ran through my head was '_I hope he breaks up with me_'. The second was '_Oh, shit, he knows that I was talking to the guys!_' I couldn't be sure, but I thought that it was the only explanation.

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That night I headed down to the lake at about a quarter to eight. Jon was already down there by the time I got down there. He was looking out across the water and I had half a mind to go running back up to the Common Room and not face him. But this was my mess and I had to take care of it myself.

"Hey." I said, coming with in a few feet of him. He turned and looked at me. I knew this wasn't going to be good.

"I thought I was very clear when I told you to stay away from the Marauders." He said, in an icy tone.

"Look, they came up to me. It wasn't like I could ignore them." I replied, wondering why he was being like this.

"Yeah, well, you should've. Cause I warned you of what would happen if I caught you." He said, taking a step towards me. And then it hit me- why was I afraid him? I could take him. I mean, who was he to order me around like this? And just like that, anger flared up inside of me.

"Excuse me, but I don't think you're going to do anything to me." I said, matter-of-factly. "Look, if you don't like who I'm friends with, then get over it. I'm sick of this jealous boyfriend bit. It's over." I added, and with that I turned and started to walk away.

"You're not going anywhere!" I heard him snarl and then I felt him grab me around the waist and we both fell to the ground. My head hit a rock and then everything went black.

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muwhahahahaha...cliff hanger! What will happen next? Will Sirius come toher rescue? Will Jon hurt her? (well, duh, he already has, hasn't he?) Stay tuned for Chapter 10!

oh, and please review! It just may make me post that much faster! (wink wink, nudge nudge...)


	10. A Broken Spirit and a Shattered Heart

Ch. 10- A Broken Spirit and a Shattered Heart

**A/N:** so, I was going to update yesterday, but the stupid site was being, well, stupid...anyways, here is the new chapter, sorry for the wait- I would just like to say that this is one of my favoritechapters in this story so far and Ilove it, don't ask me why. so, here it is, Chapter 10:p(ps, jsut in case you didn't know it, I IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM OWN ANYTHING OF HARRY POTTER...I mean, c'mon, if I did, do you think I would be sitting here writting fanfiction?)

_Her feelings she hides.  
Her dreams she can't find.  
She's losing her mind.  
She's fallen behind.  
She can't find her place.  
She's losing her faith.  
She's fallen from grace.  
She's all over the place.  
Yeah,oh  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside._

_Nobody's home- Avril Lavigne_

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When I woke up, I felt a pressure on top of me and a dull pain in my abdomen area. I was disoriented for a minute and then everything came rushing back to me. I shifted my head and I saw that Jon was the pressure on top of me. I opened my mouth to scream, but he shot a silencing charm at me.

He went on for a while longer, I'm not sure exactly how long. All I could think about was how stupid I'd been. I should've told the guys what was really going on. I shouldn't have tried to walk away. Jon wasn't being gentle and what was worse, he seemed to be _enjoying_ himself. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he stood up, zipped his pants, and looked down at me with a satisfied smirk.

"Now, you can't leave me. I've left my mark and nobody will want you now." He said, smugly. It was true and I hated to admit it. He took the silencing charm off and I had no energy left to talk, let alone scream.

Then he left; he just walked away and left me there. I laid there for a long time, curled up into the fetal position, tears streaming down my face. Eventually, I got up and covered myself with my robe as best I could. I was bloody, but I didn't care. I made my way up to the castle slowly and I walked through it like a zombie. I stopped at the Hospital wing and took some birth control and virus potions from Madame Pomfrey's cabinet. And then I went up to my dorm, showered and cleaned myself off, drank the potions and climbed into bed. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

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The next day, I woke up as the other girls were getting ready. I felt horrible and I didn't really feel like putting the effort into putting on a show for the day. So, I just slept instead. I knew the guys would be worried, but I couldn't face them. I couldn't face Jon, either. I felt so ashamed of myself for allowing it to happen. If only I had been smarter or stronger, it wouldn't have happened. But, only Jon and I knew about it, and that's how it was going to stay.

"Hey, Joie, wake up." I felt someone shaking my shoulder. It was Lily. "Are you feeling okay? It's just that James and Sirius and Remus wanted me to check on you, seeing as you haven't gotten out of bed all day."

"I'm alright, just a bit sick." I said, groggily.

"Alright, well, I'll let them know." She said, somewhat uncertainly and then she left.

I didn't go to lessons for the next couple of days. I just wanted to curl up and die, really. But, I figured that if I stayed in bed much longer the teachers would get involved. So, I dragged myself out of bed three days after the "incident" as I referred to it and went to class.

"Hey, you feeling better?" James asked, as I walked into the Common Room.

"No." I said, flatly. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Well, maybe you should go see Madame Pomfrey." He suggested. "God, you gave us a scare, thought you died. And Jon's been really worried about you." He added. My pulse leaped at the sound of Jon's name, but I kept my face impassive.

"She can't help me. It's nothing." I said, my voice still flat. I didn't mean to sound so distant and cold, but that's how it was coming out. James gave me a funny look, but didn't really press any further.

"Well, alright, then. Here are the notes you missed, and the homework." He said, handing me a bunch of parchment.

"Thanks." I said, and I walked out the Common Room and I went to my first class- Ancient Runes.

The month of October passed and I'd managed to distance myself from everyone. I spent most of my time hidden away in the astronomy tower until curfew. Then I would go back to Gryffindor tower and head straight to my dorm. At first the guys had tried to beckon me back down, but now they never said anything. I never talked anymore and I think my voice stopped working because of the lack of use. I skipped all meals and instead I ate in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. I slept through all of my classes and so I never knew what was going on. My grades were suffering and I looked terrible. There were dark rings under my eyes, which were blood shot, and I felt as if I was walking around in a daze. Jon hadn't spoken to me since that night and I never gave him a chance to.

One day, in the middle of November, I was walking to the library when I felt someone tap my shoulder. It was dinnertime and so I assumed that almost everyone was down in the Great Hall. I looked around, but I didn't see anybody. I thought that I'd finally lost my mind and that I could die in peace now. But then, I felt a hand clamp around my mouth from behind and an arm snake around my waist and then I felt a very strong and very invisible person dragging me backward into a classroom. My pulse quickened and I was on the verge of a panic attack. Once inside the door was closed and locked and the person let go of me. I turned around to see Sirius coming out from under the invisibility cloak and James and Remus standing behind him. I let out a sigh of relief.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked, wearily. I wasn't in the mood for a prank.

"This, my dear, is called an intervention." James said, seriously. "There's something wrong with you and we're not leaving here until we find out what it is. I mean, I can't tell you how many times Jon has come up to us lately and demanded to know what's wrong with you. He says that you won't talk to him."

"And don't try to deny it." Remus said, firmly. I thought about protesting and telling them that nothing was wrong and that they were over reacting. But then I realized I didn't have the energy to deny it anymore.

"Fine, I won't deny it. There is something going on." I said, and they all exchanged a smug look. "But I'm not telling you what it is."

"Why not?" Sirius asked, looking at me in disbelief. "You can tell us anything, that's what friends are for."

"Yeah, well, I can't tell you this." I said, turning my back to them. Tears were threatening to spill over my eyes.

"Why? Is it because you don't think you can trust us?" Sirius said, anger filling his voice. "I mean, you haven't said a word to us in almost two months and even before that we hardly ever saw you!"

"Sirius, stop." Remus said.

"No, Remus, she's going to tell us what's going on. We deserve to know!" He said, his voice rising. "Jesus, Joie, we're supposed to be your best friends, but apparently you don't think so." He added. His words stung deeper than anything else in the past couple months had.

"It's no that." I said, quietly. Tears were streaming down my face now.

"Then what is it? I mean, what's so bad that you can't tell us?" Sirius asked, and I was afraid to turn around. I honestly thought he might snap. But I forced myself to.

"It's got nothing to do with you guys, honestly." I said, making myself look at them instead of the ground. "It's just, I'm too ashamed to say it."

"Ashamed of what?" James asked, frowning. I sat down on one the desks Indian style, thinking of how to word it.

"Of what happened." I said, my voice quiet. I was skirting around saying it, but I hadn't said the actual words of what had happened to me out loud. It was as if saying them aloud made the whole ordeal even more real than it already was.

"What happened?" Remus asked, as Sirius took a step closer to me. I involuntarily scooted back from him. I knew it was the Marauders and that I could trust them, but I hadn't let myself within arm's reach of anybody- especially guys- since that night. Sirius noticed this and the look in eyes broke my heart.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He said, quietly, his voice now filled with sadness.

"I know, just don't come any closer." I said, tears still falling form my eyes. "I don't think I can handle it."

"Joie, what happened? Please, tell us." He pleaded. _Damn you, Sirius_, I thought, _damn you for being the only one able to make me break_.

"Jon raped me." I said, barely above a whisper. My words hung in the air and they just stood there and stared at me. Then I relived the whole thing, telling them everything.

"A month and a half ago?" James said, in disbelief. "Why the bloody hell didn't you say something?"

"I couldn't." I said. I was sobbing now. "Don't think I wanted to? But I couldn't. I've been too ashamed."

"Oh, god, you're not, you know, pregnant, are you?" Sirius asked, in alarm.

"No, I'm not pregnant." I said, shaking my head, trying to control my voice. "I stole some birth control potions from Madame Pomfrey."

"You know, cutting yourself off from everybody wasn't the right thing to do." Remus said, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone and I didn't want anyone to know anyways." I replied, dropping my head into my hands. "I mean, if I had been stronger or smarter or, I dunno, something, maybe it wouldn't have happened."

"Hey, don't you dare for one second blame yourself for what happened." Sirius said, firmly. "It is not your fault."

"Yeah, I mean, if you tried to walk way and he attacked you from behind, well, you couldn't help what happened." James added, nodding.

"So, what happens now?" I asked, looking at them.

"I dunno, I guess we just have to get you better." Remus said, with a shrug. "Listen, no more of this skipping meals and sleeping through classes, okay? And you need to start sleeping at night. I mean, this isn't healthy for you, what you're doing to yourself. Look, we'll help you, but you have to be willing to change, alright?" He added, and I nodded.

"Let's start with dinner." James said, unlocking the door. I hopped off the desk and followed James out.

We walked down to the Great Hall. People were already finishing and leaving, but I was glad. I didn't really want to be around a ton of people. James, Remus, and I walked in and headed for Gryffindor table. But then we heard shouting out in the Entrance Hall and I realized Sirius wasn't with us anymore.

"YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!" Sirius was bellowing. He had Jon on the ground and was beating the shit out of him. I made a move to stop him, but both James and Remus held me back. I looked at them and they just looked on, a stony, yet satisfied look on both their faces. I could tell that they were sorry that they didn't get to him before Sirius. "HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF DOING THAT TO HER?"

By now the teachers had come out and were trying to pull Sirius off of Jon. It took four of them just to get him off and two more to hold him back. He was still struggling and shouting obscenities.

"IF YOU EVER EVEN SO MUCH AS FUCKING LOOK AT HER AGAIN, I SWEAR TO BLOODY HELL I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!" He was still shouting as the teachers dragged him away. Jon looked much worse for the wear. He face was pretty bloody and I'm sure Sirius got him in a quite a few places. A couple of more teachers came forward and helped him up. They escorted him to the Hospital Wing.

"C'mon, Joie, let's go eat." James said, with the same stony expression on his face.

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Later that night I was trying to sleep, like I told Remus I would. But I couldn't. Not because of Jon; no, tonight it was because of Sirius. Finally, around one o'clock, I snuck up to the boy's dorm and eased the door open. I made my way across the room silently and came to stand at the side of Sirius' bed. He was still awake too.

"What are you doing up? You're supposed to be sleeping." He asked, looking up at me.

"I couldn't get to sleep." I replied, in a whisper.

"Here, hop in." He said, holding the covers open for me and scooting over. "What's on your mind?"

"You." I said, as I laid down next to him. He wrapped an arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder. "I never got to thank you for kicking the shit out of Jon."

"No problem." He replied, with a quiet laugh.

"So, how bad did you get it?" I asked, looking up at him.

"A month's worth of detentions." He said, with a small smile. "But, don't worry, I didn't tell them what happened."

"I was more worried about what was going to happen to you." I said, truthfully. "I'm sorry you got detention because of me."

"I'm just glad they didn't suspend me." He said. "But, you know, it was worth it. If I've caused him one fraction of the pain that he's caused you, then it won't be a total waste. Besides, it felt good to see the look on his face as I beating him."

"I'm lucky to have a friend like you, Sirius, I really am." I said, snuggling into him.

"Yeah, you are." He laughed, kissing my forehead before resting his head on top of mine. I was surprised at how comfortable I was and how sleepy I was all of sudden.

My last thought before I drifted off was that I loved Sirius…but was I sure it was like a brother? Or was it more than that?

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and, if youwouldplease, review...


	11. Is It Love?

Ch. 11- Is It Love?

**A/N:** hey! Sorry it took so long to update, but the chapter I was working on took longer than I thought...I was having a bit of writer's block but that's gone now and I've finished and written a chapter and a half- go me! DISCLAIMER: Um, I'm not JK Rowling, in case you thought I was...and now here's the chapter...

_No chance, no way  
I won't say it, no, no_

_You swoon, you sigh  
why deny it, uh-oh  
_

_It's too cliché  
I won't say I'm in love  
_

_Meg & the Muses- Disney's Hercules_

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Christmas came before I knew it and everyone but Sirius and I were leaving. Dad had to go to Australia for some business meeting with a new organization he joined and I couldn't go. He wouldn't tell me very much about it, only that it was a new group fighting Voldemort- the Order of the Phoenix. He was going to Australia to try and get more allies. So, I had to stay at Hogwarts. James offered me to come to his place, but I turned him down. I figured sometime to myself would be good. Sirius also turned James down. He said he had to catch up on homework, but I don't think he wanted me to be alone on Christmas.

"Okay, so, remember, you guys need to get those supplies from Slughorn's cupboard for our next prank." James said, as we stood in the entrance hall.

"Yeah, yeah, we know. Now, get going or you'll be staying here with us too." Sirius said, pushing him out of the door.

We walked back up to the common room. Sirius and I were the only two Gryffindors staying, so we had the whole tower to ourselves. Of course, we made good use of being able to have the good chairs on front of the fire and lounging on the best couches. Which all we did for the first couple days of break- lay around and talk.

"So, how's Susan?" I asked, one day. We were eating a bunch of candy and doing pretty much nothing.

"Oh, yeah, well we broke up about a week ago. Just before she left." He said, indifferently.

"That'll be a damper on her holiday." I said, smiling.

"Actually, she dumped me." He said, stuffing a chocolate frog in mouth.

"Did I hear right? Sirius Black got dumped?" I said, in mock horror. "What is the world coming to?"

"Eh, she said that I wasn't giving her the full amount of attention that she deserved. Something about me actually wanting to spend time with my friends instead of with her. Anyways, I was going to do it when break was over, she was starting to bore me." He said, shrugging. "I mean, I can only take so much of who's with who and what the current scandals are."

"Yeah, well, at least you don't have to try and go to sleep with those girls talking about worthless information like that." I said, rolling my eyes.

"That's the thing I don't like about most girls. All they want to talk about is gossip." Sirius said, shaking his head. "Guys don't care. That's one of your best qualities, the fact that you don't care either."

"Gee, thanks." I said, narrowing my eyes at him. It didn't have the desired effect, though. He didn't burst into flames; instead he burst into laughter. "What the bloody hell is so funny?"

"You. I mean, you really can't pull off that whole if-looks-could-kill glare thing." He replied, still laughing. I smiled, in spite of myself.

"Yeah, well, I've always been more partial to the finding your foe's weakness thing anyways." I said, grinning evilly at him.

"Yeah, like you know what my weakness is. I have no weaknesses!" He proclaimed, defiantly.

"Oh really?" I said, and I flung myself on top of him and began to tickle him mercilessly. "Ha! What was that about no weaknesses?" I yelled over his shrieks of laughter.

"Sun…shine…stop…I'm… beg…ing…please…"He gasped in between laughs. "I…give in…you're… queen…of the…universe!"

"Well, since you've realized it." I said, stopping and getting up. I stretched and started across the common room to the portrait. And then, I felt something fly into me and knock me down.

"Now who's master of the universe?" Sirius asked, tickling me. I wiggled under his weight, trying to escape. "There is no escaping me!"

"Sirius…I can't…breathe!" I managed to say between giggles.

"I'm not falling for that!" He said, not letting up. But, then I really couldn't breathe.

"Sirius…I'm serious!" I said, still trying to get out.

"No! I am!"

"Sirius-" I gasped, and all of sudden he stopped.

"Your face is turning a violent shade of purple." He said, looking at me. He got up and then pulled me to my feet.

"I told you I couldn't breathe." I said, after I could speak again. "Truce?" I added, holding my hand out.

"Only for now." He said, shaking it.

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Christmas morning I woke up to find a pile of gifts at the foot of my bed. I smiled and got up to open them. Dad gave me a black leather bound photo album filled with pictures of mom in it. I flipped through it, looking at the three of us, so happy. I smiled and closed it. James gave me a wizard camera, so that I could take pictures myself, but warned me in the Christmas card that if I took a single picture of him he would destroy it. Remus gave me a gold locket in the shape of a sun with a recent picture of the four of us in it and an inscription on the other side: "We'll always be here for you, best friends through and through". Sirius gave me a lock box in the shape of a sun with five rays coming off of it. Each of the rays unlocked to a different box, so I could keep five times the amount of things in it. I got a big bar of Honeydukes chocolate from Peter. _Hold on a second_, I thought. I opened the locket that Remus gave me and studied the picture again. It had been taken only about a week ago- James was scowling at having his picture taken, Remus was smiling sweetly, Sirius had his arms wrapped around me, attempting to hug the life out of me while laughing at the camera, and I was laughing as well. But there was no Peter. I thought about it for a few minutes, but then shrugged it off, promising myself to talk to the guys about it later.

I washed up, got dressed, and went down to the Common room. Sirius was sitting on a couch in front of the fire, just staring into the flames. I smiled to myself- it wasn't often that I could sneak up on Sirius like this. I crept up behind him, wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He looked around at me and smiled.

"Merry Christmas." I said, walking around the couch and sitting down next to him.

"Right back at you, Sunshine." He replied.

"I love the lock box you got me." I said. "Merlin knows I have enough shit to fill it."

"Well, I'm glad you like it." He said, laughing. "Oh, and that dog bone was just what I wanted." He added, sarcastically, giving me a push.

"Yeah, well, men and dogs are all the same." I said, laughing too. "Makes for a great gag gift."

"Yeah, I'm sure it does." He said, darkly.

"Did you like my other gift?" I asked, giving him a sideways glance.

"Two words: Wicked Awesome!" He said, his face lighting up. "Where did you find a leather jacket like and more importantly, why are you spending money like that on me?" He added, shaking his head.

"Well, I found it in this magazine from this vintage shop. The moment I saw it, I knew I had to get it for you." I replied, smiling. "And you have no room to talk about spending money. Have you checked your presents to me the last few years?"

"That cause you deserve them." He said, and I rolled my eyes.

"And you don't?" I countered. I grabbed his hand and he looked at me. "Padfoot, after everything you've done for me, I should be your personal slave for all of eternity."

"Nah, it wasn't that big of a deal." He said, modestly.

"It was to me." I said, seriously. "This summer, with Jon…I owe you a lot."

"Not with Jon." He said, looking away from me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"I wasn't able to stop him from hurting you. I wasn't there, I broke my promise." He said, softly. "I mean, I shouldn't have just let you shrug me off like you did. I should've done something."

"Sirius, there wasn't anything you could do." I said, quietly, rubbing my finger in circles in his palm.

"But that's just it!" He exclaimed, jerking his hand out of mine and standing up. He started pacing. "There should've been something I could've done! You should have never been hurt, but you were. And it's all my fault! I should have told you my suspicions earlier or tried to talk some sense into you. But I didn't. And look what happened."

"Calm down." I said, slightly alarmed by his sudden outburst. "Sirius, look at me, I'm fine now. Jon can't hurt me anymore and it's all in the past. It's not your fault, it's mine for not realizing how possessive and insane he really was. I should've told you guys from the start what was going on, but I thought I could handle it by myself."

"It just pisses me off so much! The fact that you got hurt and there was nothing I could but stand there and watch." He said, still pacing. "I mean, I was so worried about you, but I didn't try too hard to convey that. I didn't know what to say to you and I hated that feeling. And then when we intervened and I couldn't come closer then five feet from you, it just tore me up."

"I'm sorry," I said, quietly, looking down. I had caused them so much pain. I didn't even really deserve to have them back.

"Hey, I don't blame you." Sirius said, kneeling down in front of me, lifting my chin up until we made eye contact. "I blame that sick son of a bitch."

"That's the thing," I said, wondering why I was lucky enough to have him, "you should blame me. I hid the truth from you guys, my best friends, and I hurt youin a way that I never thought I could. I wasn't a very good friend and I don't deserve you guys, I really don't."

"Don't say that, because you do deserve us. We're here for you, in the good times and bad, through sickness and health, till death do us part." He said, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Now you sound like we're getting married." I said, and he laughed.

"Well, it's along the same lines." He said, shaking his head. "Okay, enough of this drama, it's Christmas!" He exclaimed, pulling me to my feet. He then proceeded to spin me around the Common Room, singing Christmas carols at the top if his lungs. I joined him and we had a wonderful time just goofing around.

Later that day, we went outside and had a snowball fight. We built forts and made as many snowballs as possible. Then it was a full-fledged war. I won, of course, because I was quicker on my feet. And I happened to be a great dodge ball player. This was really no different- only it was cold, wet snow instead of hard balls.

Afterwards, we headed back upstairs and got cleaned up. We enjoyed a nice Christmas dinner- the only other students there were a couple of Ravenclaw third years, a Hufflepuff fourth year, and Snape, along with the faculty. Dumbledore was very entertaining in his sombrero and Sirius and I had each gotten big black top hats- you know the kind that are five sizes too big for your head.

Then we just hung around the Common Room, playing card games. I'd taught him how to play speed, trash, and Texas hold 'em. So, we whiled away the time playing until about midnight. By then, I was tired.

"Alright, well, I'm heading up to bed." I said, standing and stretching, before starting towards the girls' dorm.

"Hey," Sirius said, suddenly and I spun around. He walked towards me and stopped just inches from me. He cupped my chin with his forefinger and thumb before placing a soft kiss on my lips. It shouldn't have been breathless, but somehow it was. "Merry Christmas, Sunshine." He added, glancing upwards. Then he walked up to his dorm. I just stood there for a second and then I looked up.

Mistletoe.

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I didn't know what had happened, but over the next few days I felt strangely awkward around Sirius. What did that kiss mean? Did it mean anything? Why did I care? Why was I thinking about this so much? And why the hell was it driving me insane?

Then about five days later it hit me. I don't know why I didn't realize it earlier. I mean, it's probably been painfully obvious and why not? I'm not the world's most subtle person. In fact, I bet everyone but me knew it. I had fallen fast and hard for Sirius Black, my best friend.

But had it been all that fast? I mean, maybe I'd loved him all this time; I just hadn't known it. And I mean, who wouldn't fall head over heels for him? I'm sure every girl in Hogwarts had. But there was difference between them and me- I couldn't do anything about it. He was my best friend and I highly doubted that he felt anything more than that for me. Besides, it would only complicate things. What would happen if I fell out of love with him or if we broke up? Things would be extremely awkward and we would have a ruined friendship.

So, I did the only thing I could- nothing. I would be kinda miserable, but at least I would still have him as my friend.

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_there's a button on the bottom of this page called the review button- click it and drop me a line. Love it, hate it? I want- need- to know:p_


	12. New Friends and Late Night Pranks

Ch. 12- New Friends and Late Night Pranks

**A/N:** alirght, well, this is kinda of an early update for me, but I am on roll with this story! I love writing it and I'm glad that there are people that like it...honestly, reviewers make everything so worth it...anyways, here is chapter 12!

_The remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison  
I say the comedy is that it's serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words  
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on  
So shine the light on all of your friends when it all amounts to nothing in the end._

_The Remedy- Jason Mraz  
_

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Life went on like normal. We went on pulling pranks and sneaking out. James was still trying to get Lily to go out with him- and she was still refusing. Remus was still bailing James and Sirius out of homework binds. Nobody had seen much of Peter lately, but we all overlooked that. Sirius continued to date his way through the female population at Hogwarts. And I was surprisingly good at acting like there was nothing wrong.

One day I was up in the dorm, doing homework, when Lily walked in. Actually, she stormed in. She went over to her trunk and gave it a good kick. Then she swore and started hopping up and down on one foot. I watched all of this extremely confused.

"Uh, Lily, are you alright?" I asked, shocked. Her normal composed, collected persona was gone.

"What?" She said, spinning around and falling down. She swore again and looked precariously close to tears. I stood up and walked over to her.

"Are you alright?" I repeated, extending a hand to help her up. She took it and I led her over to her bed.

"I don't know. I'm not sure about anything anymore." She said, dropping her head into her hands. "Everything is just so insane!"

"Anything I can help with?" I asked, sitting down next to her. She looked up at me.

"Not unless you know how to patch up a friendship that's beyond repair, get Potter off my back, and can teach meeverything we need to know for the Transfiguration test we have tomorrow." She replied, sadly.

"Well, I can help you with Transfiguration because I have all the notes. It's really not that hard once you understand what you're doing. I'm afraid that James will never stop bothering you until you go out with him or he dies- whichever one comes first." I said, and she laughed. "As for the friendship, well, you have to decide if it's truly worth repairing and if it is, then do everything in your power to fix it. If it doesn't work then at least you tried."

"It's just that I've been friends with this person for so long and I thought that I could trust her." She said, shaking her head. "But she betrayed me and she doesn't even seem sorry for it."

"Well, then, she's not really your friend and she's not worth your time, tears, or concern." I replied, with a shrug. "Now about that Transfiguration…" I added, walking over to my bed and rummaging through my bag for my notes. "Ah, here they are."

"Why are you doing this for me?" She asked, as I turned around. "I mean, I totally appreciate and everything, but we've never really been on the best of terms."

"I feel sorry for you." I said, seriously and she looked at me in disbelief. "I'm just kidding!" I added, quickly, with a smile. "I'm helping you because you seem like you need it."

"Am I that obvious?" She asked.

"To me you are. But that's because I was in a similar position as you are right now a few months ago." I replied, with a shrug. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know." She said, uncertainly. I just nodded and started to flip through my notes. "Are you sure you really want to hear it?"

"Only if you want to tell it." I said, putting my notes down and looking at her.

"Well, okay, I was dating this guy from Hufflepuff, Brandon, and everything was really good for a while. We had been dating for almost a year and it was great- he was sweet and nice and funny." She said, and I nodded. "But then he wasn't around as much. He was always studying or hanging with the guys or something. He just didn't have as much time for me. I didn't want to be clingy, so at first I just told myself I was being stupid. But the a month passed, two months, three months…he just didn't seem to want to be around me. So when I confronted him about it he told me that it was all in my head. I talked to Susan about it, but she told me I was being too serious.

"Okay." I said.

"Well, then three days ago I went to find Brandon because I hadn't seen him in a week and a half. I looked for him in the library, went to his common room, asked his friends. I just couldn't find him." She continued, her voice cracking ever so slightly. "So, there I was walking around the school looking for my boyfriend. I was on the third floor when I heard noises coming from a classroom. I was just about to brush it off as a snog session, when I heard Brandon's voice. So, I opened the door and there was Brandon and Susan- _having sex_! They looked at me and I ran. I just talked to Susan and she said that I was stupid to not realize it. And she's right! I should've realized that something was wrong. They told me nothing was wrong and I was stupid enough to believe them!" She was yelling by now, tears streaming down her face.

"It's not your fault, Lily." I said, quietly. "Trust me, I know."

"How would you know? Sirius beat Jon up because you couldn't break up with him yourself!" She said, angrily. "How could possibly know how it feels to have your heart ripped out by your boyfriend and best friend?"

"I haven't had that happen, but you're wrong about Jon." I replied, with a sigh.

"I'm wrong? Well, then you might want to inform Jon. Cause he's the one who told me what happened." She said, glaring at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, he probably would make something like that up." I said, nodding. "But you know, I don't care what he says anymore."

"Why would he make that up?" She asked, suspiciously.

"To make himself look like the victim." I replied, shaking my head. "But he's not. He's just a lying, low life bastard."

"What did he do?" She asked, looking at me. I didn't say anything for a minute. Nobody but the guys knew what had happened and I wasn't sure I was ready to talk about it yet. But, she had told me what had been bothering her- I guess I owed her that much.

"Do you remember earlier this year when I pretty much cut myself off from everyone?" I asked, and she nodded. "That was because of Jon."

"So, it's his fault that you stopped talking to everyone and cut yourself off from the world?" She said, skeptically.

"Look, Lily, here's what happened." I said, my temper getting the better of me. "Jon was consuming all of my time. I had no time left for my friends and it bothered me. And then Jon told me that I had to stop talking to them or else I would regret it. I told him to forget it and he hit me. So, I tried, but they came up to me to talk to me and he found out. That night he told me to meet him by the lake. I decided that I wasn't afraid of him and that I was walking away- he couldn't tell me who to be friends with.

"So, I go down and he's waiting for me. I tell him that I wasn't going to take his shit and turned around to leave. He grabbed me, we fell down, I hit my head, and I was knocked out. When I woke up, Jon was…he was…" I said, but I couldn't finish it.

"He was what?" She pressed me.

"He was raping me." I said, quietly. "That's why I isolated myself."

"He _raped_ you?" She said, incredulously. "But Jon would never-"

"No, you wouldn't think he would, would you?" I said, coldly. "But why would _I_ make something like that up?"

"So, how did you pull through it?" She asked.

"Well, one day the Marauders basically kidnapped me and intervene. I told them everything and they helped me. That was the night Sirius beat Jon up." I said, with a smile. "I don't know what I would've done if it wasn't for them."

"Joie, I had no idea, I'm sorry-" Lily started, but I cut her off.

"You couldn't have an idea about it. Don't worry, it's done and over with." I said, shaking my head. "My point is that you shouldn't go through this alone. You should always have someone there for you."

"Yeah, well, that person turned out to be a back stabbing bitch." She replied, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I'm here if you ever need to talk." I said, smiling at her. She smiled back.

"Thanks, that means a lot." She said.

"Now, Transfiguration," I said, opening my notes. We spent the rest of the night preparing for the test.

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"So, what's the plan for Hogsmeade this weekend?" James asked, one night as we sat in the Common Room.

"I've got a date." Sirius said, casually.

"I've got a date too." Remus said, turning red.

"Moony, a date? With an actual girl?" James said, pretending to be shocked. "Way to go!"

"Yeah, she's a Ravenclaw prefect." He said, blushing even more.

"What about you, Sunshine?" James asked, turning to me.

"I dunno, I might have date, I haven't decided yet." I replied, with a shrug.

Surprisingly guys were still asking me out and I was considering one guy. He was a seventh year Hufflepuff, smart, nice, and kinda geeky. His name was Henry and we had started talking in the library a couple weeks ago. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy, but I was still weary. I was considering giving him a chance. What could one date hurt?

"A date?" Sirius asked, sitting up and looking at me. "You sure about that, Sunshine?"

"Sure, one date won't hurt." I said, shrugging.

"You do know the guy right?" Remus asked, furrowing his brow.

"God, yes!" I said, indignantly. "Honestly, do you think I'm that stupid?"

"Well-" Sirius started, but I hit over the head.

"Just be careful, okay?" James said, seriously.

"I will." I said, with a nod.

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I was in the library studying when someone came up behind me and covered my eyes. I was assuming it was Sirius, because this was the type of thing he would do. So, I played along.

"Guess who." The person said. Only it wasn't Sirius' voice.

"Um…" I said, thinking. "I give up."

"Nope, guess." He said, not moving his hands from my eyes. Then it hit me.

"Henry." I said, and he removed his hands.

"You got me." He said, sitting down across from me. "So, have you thought about Hogsmeade?"

"Yeah." I said, not fully answering because I knew it would drive him insane.

"And?" He said, waving his hand indicating me to go on.

"I would love to go to Hogsmeade with you." I said, smiling at him.

"Good, I hoped you'd say that." He said, smiling back.

That Saturday I met Henry in the Entrance Hall and we made our way down to Hogsmeade. He didn't try to push me into doing anything I didn't want to and I was grateful for that. We walked around, chatting and laughing, just having a good time. We were on our way to the Three Broomsticks, when I saw Sirius and his date walking in the opposite direction. She was _gorgeous_ and I resented her immediately. She was clinging to Sirius, who had no problem with it. He was talking and she was laughing- they looked perfect together.

"So, Joie, I was wondering if you would, um, like to go out again…as my girlfriend." Henry said, as we sat in a booth, drinking Butterbeer.

"Oh, um, wow," I said, shocked. Sure, I'd had a good time, but I wasn't ready for this. "Henry, I think you're sweet and all, but honestly, I'm really not ready for a serious relationship."

"I see." He said, looking disappointed. "And when might you be ready for a relationship?"

"I don't know." I sighed, looking away from him. "Look, it's just, that there are still some sore feelings from my last boyfriend, and I just need some more time. But I did have a great time today, thank you." I added.

"Yeah, I had fun too." He replied, giving me a somewhat forced smile.

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"Okay, spill! How was your date with Henry?" Lily asked, later that night in the Common Room.

"It was fine. We had a good time." I replied, with a shrug.

"Joie, come _on_! I need details!" She said, exasperated.

"Okay, we walked around, just talking and poking into a few shops and then we went to the Three Broomsticks." I said, shaking my head at her. "That's pretty much it. Oh, he did ask me out again."

"And what did you say?" She asked, curiously.

"I told him I wasn't ready." I replied.

"Are you crazy? He's one the most popular seventh years!" She exclaimed.

"Yeah, and I don't care." I said, indifferently. She looked at me like I was crazy. "I'm just not quite over what happened with Jon, that's all."

"I guess that would be hard to get over." She sighed, sitting down next to me.

Over the past month or so Lily and I had been becoming friends. It was a weird friendship, to say the least. The Lily I'd always known had been studious, composed, sophisticated. The Lily I knew now was loud, bubbly, charismatic, and slightly insane. But, it worked, her and me, much to James' delight.

"So, what are we going to do tonight?" I asked her, as she started flipping through a magazine.

"I dunno," She said, her brow furrowed in concentration. "Oh, I know! We could sneak up to the boys' dorm, strip them down to their boxers, and then put shaving cream in their hands and tickle various parts of their bodies."

"Actually, that's not a half bad idea, only let's cover them in honey and feathers after the shaving cream." I said, and her eyes lit up.

"You are good!" She said, high-fiving me.

"Yes, well, they don't call me the Lady Marauder for nothing." I replied, smugly. "But why the sudden interest in the boys? I mean, you usually don't interact with them unless they've done something to provoke it."

"I dunno, the idea just kind of popped into my head." She said, with a shrug.

"Uh huh." I said, skeptically. "You just want to see James half naked."

"WHAT! I do not want to see Potter half naked!" She yelled, indignantly.

"Chill, I was kidding." I said, laughing.

"Oh," She said, calming down some. "I knew that."

"Sure you did." I replied, sarcastically. She glared at me.

So, at one o'clock, Lily and I snuck down from our dorm and up to the boys'. We crept in and I saw that Peter wasn't there. I wondered where he was, but I just assumed that he was in the kitchens. Lily and I set to work. She took Remus, while I took James and then we both did Sirius. Then we place silencing charms on ourselves, just in case.

I started with James on the shaving cream. I sprayed some into hand and tickled his nose. Nothing happened at first, so I did it again. This time, his hand flew up to his face, smearing shaving cream all over it. I put more shaving cream in his hand. Lily took her feather and brushed it against his stomach. He rubbed his hand all over his chest and abdomen. We continued this way for a good ten minutes. After we weredone with the shaving cream, we took out honey and squirted it all over him- head, body, and legs. And then we put feathers all over him. It was such a funny sightthat Lily and I were dying from silent laughter.

We went onto Remus and did the same to him. He was much the same as James. Sirius, on the other hand, was quite entertaining. I'd barely touched the feather to his nose, when he grunted and started swatting at his face. Lily and I had fun covering him. He was so ticklish that he was going crazy every time the feather touched any part of his body. When it came time for the honey, I put an extra bottle in his hair. I'd brought one just for that purpose. Lily covered him with the feathers and then we snuck back out. Once we were back in the Common Room, we burst out laughing.

"I've…never seen…anything…so funny!" Lily gasped, after taking the silencing charm off.

"I know!" I said, tears of mirth streaming down my face. I couldn't breathe.

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"AHHHHHH" Came a bloodcurdling scream from the boys' dormitory the next morning. Lily and I had gotten up early just to witness the results of our little prank.

"3…2…1," I said, looking at mywatch and pointing towards the boys dorm. At precisely that moment a very angry and very funny looking James, Sirius, and Remus came down. "What _happened_ to you guys?" I asked, acting totally surprised and appalled at their state. Lily had a look of disgust on her face.

"Potter, you look even messier than your god-awful usual state." She said.

"Okay, I'm only going to ask this once!" Sirius yelled, and the whole Common Room, which had up until that point been buzzing with amusement, fell dead silent. "Who the hell did this to us?"

Naturally, nobody spoke up- everyone just sat there looking at the three boys. It was quite a sight and I was fighting the urge to laugh very hard.

"No takers? Well, then we'll just have to put some Veritaserum in your pumpkin juice." Sirius said, and everyone looked at him in disbelief. "And don't think I'm joking. We have our sources."

"Padfoot, relax, it was all in good humor." I said, trying to calm him down.

"You did this!" He exclaimed, rounding on me. James looked at me like he'd never seen me before and Remus looked fairly amused. "What happened to never pranking another Marauder?"

"Yeah, well, I was bored." I replied, shrugging. "Besides, you can't deny that this is pretty funny."

"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S GOING TO TAKE TO GET THE HONEY OUT OF MY HAIR?" He bellowed, and almost all the first and second years ran for cover.

"Well, now you have an excuse to style your hair for six hours. You should be thanking me." I said, sourly. Honestly, he pulled shit like this all the time- who was he to be angry. Bloody hypocrite.

"You're going to pay, Sunshine." He said, dangerously. "Mark my words." He added, glaring at me over his shoulder as he, James, and Remus headed upstairs to get cleaned up.

Mission accomplished.

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_and now the revies, if you please..._


	13. The Vicious Game of Dating

Ch. 13- The Vicious Game of Dating

**A/N:** okey, dokey here's chappie 13!

_There's something about you _

_That tears me inside out whenever you're around _

_And there's something about you that makes me fly _

_You're a heart attack, just the kind I like _

_And there's something about your kiss haunting and strange _

_That makes me feel so good I get a feeling, _

_You get a feeling, we got a feeling like we're alive_

_Mother We Just Can't Get Enough- by New Radicals_

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James and Remus were pretty forgiving of the prank, but Sirius kind of held a grudge against me. At least, that's what he said. Whether or not he was actually going to go through with it was another story. But by the next morning he seemed over it.

"So, did you finish potions?" James asked me at breakfast.

"Nope, I was just about to ask you the same thing." I replied, shaking my head.

"Well, look's like we're in a bloody bind. Slughorn is going to kill us. I mean, this is the third time this month." James groaned, hitting his head against the table.

"We'll figure something out." I said, unconvincingly.

"You guys could copy mine quick." Lily said, and James and I looked at her surprised. She seemed surprised herself that she was suggesting it. "I mean, just this one time. You'd have to promise to have it done next time."

"Oh, scout's honor, we swear!" James said, quickly, looking like he was about to kiss her. Good thing he didn't because that would've ruined our chances at getting the stupid paper done.

I finished copying Lily's paper and looked around. I saw Jon laughing with his friends, some girl hanging off his arm. I saw Sirius' brother, Regulus, sitting at the Slytherin table, looking haughty, next Lucius Malfoy. I'd only spoken to Regulus once, but the one time I did it was to trade insults. He was an unpleasant little bugger. I got up with Lily and we made our way to Arithmacy.

"So, what do you think we're going to have to do today?" She asked.

"I dunno, hopefully nothing hard." I replied, shrugging.

We turned a corner and saw a couple snogging. The least they could do is find a classroom. I shook my head, then suddenly realized that it was Henry. I stood there dumbfounded for a minute, until Lily pulled me away.

"Joie, what's wrong?" She asked, pushing me into the classroom. "Haven't you've ever seen two people snogging before?"

"That was _Henry_!" I said, in disbelief.

"What?"

"Henry, that was Henry snogging back there!" I said, shaking my head. "Honestly, yesterday he wanted me to be his girlfriend! Should've known that was a load of dung."

"Oh well, at least you didn't say yes." She said, and I nodded.

Arithmacy was relatively boring- all we did was problems from the board. Potions was better than expected, mainly because Lily save James and mine asses. The rest of the day went by without any major upsets and by the time dinner came it felt like the day had dragged by.

"Hey, Sunshine, can you make a copy of your History of Magic notes for me tonight- I fell asleep and I have detention from McGonagall tonight." Sirius asked, dropping into the empty seat next to me.

"Yeah, sure." I replied. "What did you do this time?"

"Ah, just a little innocent flirting and she took bloody personal." He said, nonchalantly.

"Hate to break it to you mate, but your flirting is anything _but_ innocent." I said, laughing.

"Yeah, you're right." He agreed nodding. "Anyways, thanks a ton. I owe you."

He got up and left. I'd tried over the last month or so to push my feelings for Sirius out of the way. I told myself that it was just infatuation and that I needed to get over it. The kiss had meant nothing and I was just being stupid. But the thing was the harder I tried to forget about him the more I thought about Sirius. If he was with another girl I had to remind myself that he wasn't mine and so I couldn't be jealous. But I was. I was insanely jealous because those girls had the very thing I wanted most in the world. Ironic, that I would fall in love with my best friend, isn't it?

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"Okay, so I need to go get some food. I'm starving." I said, my stomach growling loudly. "You guys want anything?"

"Yeah, some fire whiskey." James said, not looking up from his Charms homework.

"Yeah, I'll be sure to pick that up." I said, sarcastically as I walked out of the portrait hole.

I was coming back from the kitchens, munching on some pastries, when I heard sounds coming from a broom closet. But it was one sound that caught my interest- Sirius' voice. I didn't slam the door open, however, I went back up to the common room. I just wanted to be sure.

"Hey, did Sirius have detention tonight?" I asked, sitting back down.

"No, he had a date." James replied, shaking his head. "Don't expect him back anytime soon."

"Oh, I won't." I said, keeping my voice calm. I took the carefully copied notes I'd made and ripped them into pieces, which I dropped onto Sirius' bed.

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"Hey, Sunshine, do you have my notes?" Sirius asked, the next morning in the Great Hall.

"You didn't get them?" I asked back sweetly.

'No…" He said, slowly.

"Really? Well, I left them on your bed." I said, in the sweet voice.

"That's not possible, the only paper on my bed was shredded and I have no idea how it got there." He said, shaking his head.

"Well, I never said that I left the notes in one piece, now did I?" I said, my tone getting a little bit of a bite to it.

"Yeah, that's real funny, Sunshine." He said, forcing a laugh. "You seriously wouldn't shred them, would you?"

"Did I stutter?"

"What the hell! Why would you do that? I needed those notes!" He all but yelled at me. People were starting to look at us.

"Obviously you didn't need them too badly if you could go out and snog for a better part of the night instead of copying them yourself. Honestly, you expected me to give them to you after I found out you lied to me?" I said, laughing a mirthless laugh. "I don't think so."

"How-" He started, but I cut him off.

"Sirius, you really should find a better place than a broom closet to snog." I said, icily. "I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me what you were really doing."

"You wouldn't have copied them otherwise." He said, looking uncomfortable. "And I didn't want to have to cancel on my date."

"Well, that's your problem, now isn't it?" I snapped, picking my bag up and walking out of the Great Hall.

I didn't talk to Sirius for three days. He tried apologizing, glaring at me, yelling at me, begging, and the silent treatment. I broke eventually and forgave him. I guess I couldn't really stay mad at him.

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"So, Lily, do really hate James as much as you say you do?" I asked, one night. Lily and I were up in the dorm having what she called "girl time".

"I dunno." She said, shrugging. "He's just so damn persistent! I mean, you would think the poor sap would've given up three years ago after I rejected him the first fifty times, But, no, I just have to get stuck with a borderline stalker."

"He's not a stalker." I said, laughing. "He just knows your favorite color, favorite flower, favorite season…"

"Stop, stop!" She yelled, covering her ears, laughing too. "Okay, he's not as bad I think he is. I mean, his ego is starting to deflate a fraction of a bit."

"Yeah, well, maybe I'm just used the way he is and that's why I don't think he's so bad." I said. "Your turn."

"Okay, what's the deal with you and Sirius?" She asked, after a minute.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"I mean, that you guys are always messing with each other, hanging out…I'd even go as far as to say _flirting_." Lily said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"He's my best friend, that's it." I said, denying it.

"Oh, please! Don't give me that!" She scoffed. "Why were you so upset when he lied to you about that date?"

"Because he bloody used me as a scribe to copy the notes he should've copied himself!" I said, indignantly.

"Yeah, and you were jealous." Lily said, laughing. "Face it, Joie, you got it bad."

"Am I that obvious?" I moaned, putting my head in my hands.

"Nah, I just noticed it over the past few days. You were miserable not talking to him." She said.

"Well, it doesn't really matter anyways, now does it?" I said, looking at her. "I can't do anything about it."

"And why the bloody hell not?" She asked, looking at me confused.

"Firstly because he's my best friend and that is the number one rule- never date your best friend." I replied. "And secondly because he more than likely doesn't feel the same way about me."

"Are you crazy! Of course he does!" Lily exclaimed. "He only wishes he could have you!"

"Yeah, uh huh, and I'm Merlin reincarnate." I said, sarcastically.

"I'm serious!" She said, defiantly. "Look, I'll prove it." She added, hopping off her bed and running down to the Common Room.

"Lily! What are you doing?" I yelled, running after her. I wasn't far behind and I caught up to her just as she reached Sirius.

"Hey, Sirius, can I ask you something?" Lily said, and he looked at her strangely, but nodded all the same. "Don't you think any guy- including yourself- would damn lucky to have Joie here?"

"Of course." He said, with a nod. "Sunshine here is a guy's dream."

"See, I told you." She said, turning to me, hands on her hips.

"This proves nothing." I replied, shaking my head. But deep down I knew it proved everything.

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By the time March arrived I was starting to trust myself around guys more and more. Granted, I still talked mainly only to the Marauders, but I talked to a few other guys pretty regularly. Lily said this was an improvement. She said that in order to get Sirius I had to make myself something to be desired. I said that she read to many of those stupid muggle romance novels.

"Look, the only way you're going to get him to see you as anything other than his best friend is to make yourself something other than his best friend." She said to me one day at lunch. "And by that, I mean date other guys. Or at least go out on dates with guys. You don't have to make it long term or anything, just go out with them."

"Lily, that is the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard." I said, laughing. "Date other guys so that he'll notice me?"

"It makes you unattainable, and guys like that." She explained. "Besides, didn't you ever think that maybe the reason that Sirius dates all those girls is just to get your attention?"

"Or some other girl's." I added and she shook her head.

"You're hopeless."

Throughout the rest of the day I thought about what Lily said. It made sense and besides, I could have some fun. So, that next Saturday being a Hogsmeade weekend, I asked one of the guys I studied with in the library out. His name was Jake and he said yes.

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"So, what do you want to do?" He asked, as we walked down the sloping grounds of Hogwarts to Hogsmeade.

"Oh, I dunno." I said, shrugging. I had put on a pair of fitted jeans and a shirt that hit just above my belly button- showing just enough skin to make him want more. Or at least that's what Lily said.

"Well, we could start at Honeydukes and then maybe take a walk up to the Shrieking Shack."

"Okay, sounds good to me." I said, and took the arm he offered me.

We walked through the village munching on the candy we'd bought from Honeydukes, chatting. He was nice enough, but he'd never keep me interested long enough to make it long term. He just wasn't really my type. But, that was okay, because that's what this whole experiment was about. Trying different guys and making Sirius jealous. Hopefully.

"You know they say that the place is haunted." Jake said, as we stood looking at the Shack I knew so well. "Villagers hear howls of pain and ghostly sounds."

"Yeah, and I've heard that a couple of villagers have disappeared." I said, playing along. The git bought it, too.

"Wouldn't surprise me." He said, nodding.

"Well, what do we have here?" A new voice joined our conversation. I turned and saw Sirius with a girl-I couldn't be bothered to remember her name at that moment.

"Why hello, Sirius, I believe you know Jake?" I said, smiling at him.

"Yes, I do." He replied, not smiling back. I didn't know if it was because I was with a guy or because I didn't tell him I was coming with a guy. "Can I talkto you for a second, Sunshine?"

"Excuse me," I said, to Jake, and Sirius led me out of earshot.

"What's the deal with him?" He asked, cocking his head.

"Why is it any of our concern?" I shot back. "I don't remember needing your permission to go out with someone."

"Joie, what are you doing? This isn't your scene." He said, crossing him arms.

"Oh, and I suppose next you're going to tell me that I'm going to hurt?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Sirius, I can take of myself, honestly."

"Really? 'Cause a few months ago that didn't seem to be the case." He said, icily. I looked at him in shock and he looked surprised himself that he'd said that.

"Yeah, well, Sirius, why don't you go have a nice snog with your date while some poor girl does your homework for you because she was stupid enough to fall for your charm." I said, glaring at him. I turned on my heel and walked back to Jake.

"Sorry about that." I said, smiling at him. "You ready?"

"Yeah, let's go." He said, throwing a smug look at Sirius.

Jake and I had taken a walk around the lake after we returned from Hogsmeade. I told him that he was a nice guy, but we just better off friends. I thought he took it rather well, considering I think he really liked me. I stayed out by the lake for hours, just gazing into its inky depths, thinking about nothing in particular.

I was sneaking across the Entrance Hall to the marble staircase, when I heard footsteps. I quickly step into the shadows, hiding from whoever it was. But, whoever it was had heard me and was walking towards me. As soon as the person was about ten feet from me, I saw that it was Sirius.

"Sunshine? Is that you?" He asked in a loud whisper.

"Yeah. What the bloody hell are you doing out so late?" I replied, coming out of the shadows.

"I could ask you the same thing!" He said, indignantly.

"I asked you first."

"I was hungry, so I went to go get something to eat." He said as we made our way up the marble staircase, talking as quietly as possible. "What about you?"

"I was out by the lake, just thinking." I said, with a shrug.

"I see."

We walked in silence for a few minutes. I couldn't really say it was awkward, because it wasn't, but there was a certain air of tension between the two of us.

"So, what _was_ the deal with that Jake guy today?" Sirius asked, cautiously.

"Nothing, really, it was just a date." I said. "He wasn't really my type."

"I could've told you that." He said, with a scoff.

"Oh, and how would you know what my type is?" I asked, skeptically.

"I just do." He said, and I rolled my eyes. "Besides, you can do much better than that Jake bloke anyways."

"Why do you care so much about my dating life?" I asked, curiously.

"What? I can't take a healthy interest in you life?" He asked, sounding offended.

"No, as a matter of fact, you-" I stopped suddenly, listening intently. "Do you hear that?"

"What?" He asked, and I shushed him. I heard footsteps.

"Someone's coming!" I hissed, thinking fast. It was way past curfew and we didn't really have a good excuse for being out.

"What should we do?"

"Um," I said, still thinking. The footsteps were getting closer. "Kiss me." I said, suddenly, an idea hitting me.

"_WHAT_?" He said, incredulously.

"Look, just do it, okay?" I said, but he just looked at me. I sighed in frustration and took matters into my own hands. I pulled Sirius towards me and our lips connected, just as a person rounded the corner. He didn't object, he just kissed me right back. I was getting lost in the taste of him and was losing the reality of everything around me.

"Mr. Black! Miss Emerson!" A shrill voice rang out. It was McGonagall. Sirius and I broke apart, panting slightly. "What in the name of Merlin are you doing?"

"Well, if you couldn't tell form that angle, Minerva, then I think you need to get your eyes checked." Sirius blurted out without missing a beat. I didn't know whether to laugh or to groan.

"Mr. Black! Detention, both of you!" She said, turning a nice crimson color. "I would have expected better from students of my own house! Out after hours, snogging wherever you please! Honestly!"

She went on, but Sirius and I made our escape. We cut through a shortcut and only when we were sure we were safe did we burst out laughing.

"Sweet Merlin, did you see her face?" Sirius gasped, hands on his knees, shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

"I though she was going to explode after you made that comment!" I said, tears rolling down my face. I'd given up on trying to stand up straight and I was on the floor.

"What made you think of that?" He asked, when we could finally breathe again.

"I dunno, I just thought it would be better to get caught doing something actually worth a detention than just something like walking around." I replied, shrugging. "I hope you didn't mind."

"What? Oh no, I mean, I was a little surprised at first, but hey, it was worth it just to see Minerva's face." He said, quickly. "But it was just a kiss, right? Didn't mean a thing?" He added, giving me a somewhat tense look.

"Yeah, right." I said, nodding. "Just a kiss. I mean, come on, you and me?"

"Yeah, really, ridiculous." He said, with a laugh that sounded forced.

I just nodded and we walked back to the Common Room. I came close to telling Sirius how I really felt- up until he said that it was just a kiss and it didn't mean anything. The truth was I'd felt a whole lot of something. But, obviously, he didn't. So, I kept it to myself and I put on a smile and a happy face. I went on being the best friend who would never be more than that. The bad thing was- I was getting used to it.

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_whew! drama! I promise, they get together in just a couple of chapters, really I do promise...so stay with me! and reviews are appreciated so much, you have no idea:p_


	14. Boys Are Confusing

Ch. 14- Boys Are Confusing

**A/N:** Alrighty, here is chapter 13...don't worry I have some really good stuff coming up (at least I think it's good) in the next few chapters and I'm actually already starting to think the sequel to this story...yes, there will be a sequel, that much I know. But there's still at least ten more chapters left to this one, so it's still a ways off...anyways, on to the new chapter! ;P

_She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band  
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands  
She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor  
She's Miss America and I'm just the girl next door_

_Girl Next Door- Saving Jane_

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The rest of the year flew by and the next thing I knew I was on the train home for summer holidays. Dad was still in Australia doing stuff for the Order of the Phoenix, which was the group Dumbledore formed to fight Voldemort. So, I was staying at James' again, with Sirius and Remus. We would pretty much have the place to ourselves, seeing as James' and Remus' parents were all in the Order as well.

"Okay, so what should we do this summer?" Sirius asked, as we played exploding snap.

"Well, I think we should throw a party." James said, and I smacked him over the head. "What?"

"That letter your mother sent you said, and I quote, _"absolutely, positively, NO parties while we're away!"_ Anyways, we have to plan for our last year. We want to go out with a big bang, right?" I said, shaking my head at him.

"Yeah, right." He said, nodding, excitedly.

"Okay, planning's fine, but notesting. At least not on me." Remus said. "Honestly, if I wake up some morning and I find my room rigged, I will hex you guys into oblivion!"

"Lighten up, Moony, that was one time." Sirius said, as James and I laughed.

"Yeah, and I think I still have the scars from it." He replied, sourly.

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When we got to the Potters', we immediately unpacked and raided the kitchen. Or, I should say, Remus and I ravaged what was left of the food after James and Sirius had blown through. The first couple of days we did the usual- Qudditch, swimming, and just messing around. We went to the wizarding flea market a couple of times to see what kind of things people had thrown out. Remus and I took James and Sirius into London and gave them a crash course on muggle shopping. It was quite interesting, to say the least.

"So, my mum said I could have a small "get together" and invite a few friends." James said, one day as we sat by the pool. An owl had just swooped in and dropped off a couple of letters.

"Wicked, who're we going to invite?" Sirius asked, not moving from his place on the float he was currently occupying.

"Lily for sure." I said, rolling onto my back. "I need some feminine reinforcement and I'm sure Prongs won't mind, will you Prongs?" I added, looking over at him.

"Of course not!" He said, quickly. "Um, Peter for sure- that is if he'll ever respond to our letters. There's the girl Moony has a crush on," James said, thoughtfully.

"WHAT!" Remus exclaimed, sitting up. "Who are you talking about?"

"Oh, c'mon, Moony, don't deny it. The pretty Ravenclaw girl that you're always tutoring." Sirius said, laughing.

"I do not! She really is dreadful at DADA!" He said, indignantly. James and Sirius just laughed.

"They're just joking." I said, biting back the laugh itching to come out of my mouth.

"Yeah, yeah…bloody buggers…" He muttered and I laughed and shook my head.

"Okay, so I'll work on the guest list and contacting, Padfoot can do food, and Moony and Sunshine can take care of decorations. I'm thinking pool party with a barbecue. Spot knows how to grill a mean burger." James said. Spot was one the house elves- actually he'd been there the longest.

"Okay, sounds good to me." I said, as Remus nodded and Sirius started snoring.

The party was set for a week later and we had a lot to do. We had to get music and lights and transform the back pool area into party worthy. Lily came a couple of days early so that we could hang out. She was also my moral support when I was driving myself half insane trying to explain why it was improper to leave a decorated urn in the backyard and why they had to clean up at least the bottom part of the house. Honestly, James and Sirius were positively primitive at times.

"Okay, so now that the house doesn't look like a cave and that ridiculous urn is out of the backyard, I think we're ready to set up." I said, cheerfully. Sirius and James just grumbled, while Lily and Remus sniggered.

"So, Moony, you do the wand work and I'll dictate the spells." I continued, ignoring James and Sirius.

It took us about fifteen minutes in all to get the backyard ready. I'd found a book of spells entitled: _Turn Your Drab Party into Fab!_ Corny, I know, but there were actually some goods spells in there. We conjured fairies out of the lights Lily had brought and stuck them in the trees and bushes. We enchanted the water to change colors on regular intervals, as well as the torches that were spread around the backyard; we were planning for an evening party, so it made the most sense. We got James' parents radio and put on the coolest wizarding music and then we waited for people to arrive.

James and Sirius had invited the Qudditch team and a few of the elite from the other houses. It was mostly boys, but there a few girls from Gryffindor there as well.

"Hey, Sunshine, can you see if Spot has the food ready?" James called, from the pool. I nodded and went inside.

I was just about to go into the kitchen when the doorbell rang. I frowned- I thought everyone was here. Shrugging to myself, I made my way to the front door. When I opened it, I stood there staring. There was a gorgeous platinum blonde girl standing there. I knew her- well, I mean, she was one of the girls always giving me crap because I was so close to Sirius. She was a fifth year Ravenclaw and her name was Lisa something or another. She was in a bikini with a skirt on covering the bottoms. Big ice blue eyes and a petite figure, as well as an aristocratic air, made her any boy's dream girl.

"Yeah, is the James Potter's house?" She asked, disdain evident in her voice as she looked me up and down.

"What? Oh, yes it is." I manage to stutter out. She gave me a scornful look before pushing her way past me into the house. I stood there for a second in disbelief and then I closed the door and followed her.

"So, I hear that you're staying here. Is that because your family's so poor that they can't afford to take care of you?" She asked, looking around the foyer. I clenched my fists, but refrained from punching her pretty little face in. I could fight fire with fire without getting physical.

"Actually, my father is off fighting Voldemort and his supporters." I replied, sweetly, and smirking when she flinched at the sound of his name. "Is it true that you're parents are too scared to fight and are hiding in cowardice?" I added, and without waiting for a response, walked past her towards the kitchen. "By the way, the party's this way out through the back."

I went and got the food and brought it out. When I got there, I saw that Lisa had wasted no time in throwing herself all over Sirius. I rolled my eyes, put the food on the picnic table, and joined Lily at the edge of the pool.

"Well, looks like that little tramp knows how to get to business fast." Lily said, and I smiled.

"You're telling me. Why would James and Sirius invite her?" I asked.

"James didn't know she was coming, actually." She replied, glaring at Lisa. "You should've heard him. He asked her what she was doing here and when she said Sirius invited her, he laughed. I have to admit, it was funny, just the way he wrote her off. But then, Sirius cut in and said he had sent a last minute invitation and had forgotten to tell James. So, she's staying and she's going to steal your guy form you."

"_Lily_!" I hissed, elbowing her in the ribs. "He's not my guy, I have no claim on him."

"Yeah, well, if you were smart you would have told him ages ago how you felt." She said, matter-of-factly. "Honestly, I hate seeing you have to gothrough this. I mean, Sirius would be damn lucky to have a chance with a girl like you."

"Lily, what part of 'he's my best friend' have not understood?" I asked, shaking my head. "If he doesn't feel the same way about me then that'll ruin our friendship."

"Yes, well, believe me when I tell you I'm pretty sure he feels the same way about you." She replied, confidently.

"Oh really?" I said, looking at her. "And how would you know this?"

"It's only totally and completely obvious." She said, with an exasperated sigh. "I mean, he's always trying to protect you, he kicked Jon's ass for you, and he genuinely cares about you. And trust me, it isn't friend for friend caring, either. Have you ever seen how he looks at you?"

"He doesn't look at me in any special way." I said, dismissing the thought.

"Oh please! Of course he does." Lily exclaimed. "I mean, that was something that always got to Susan when she was going out with him. She always complained about how he never looked at her like he looked at you. She was always so pissed about the fact that he would hang out with you over her."

"Yeah, well, I don't blame him. I wouldn't want to hang out with her either." I said and she laughed.

"She wasn't that bad." She said, and then paused for a second. "Okay, yeah, she actually was."

"Finally you see the light." I said, throwing my arms in the air, pretending to praise God.

Later in the evening after most everyone had left, we were just hanging around the pool. The sun had gone down and we had lit the torches that surrounded the deck area. It was nice and everything was perfect. Everything except the fact that Lisa was still there.

"So, Lisa, how's your summer been so far?" Remus asked, attempting to be polite. I hadn't said a word to her since the foyer incident.

"Oh my god! You wouldn't believe it! My parents and I have spent the last month and a half vacationing in France, Italy, and Spain." She said, sitting up a little straighter and using her hands to help her talk. "I mean, it was totally lucky that Sirius owled me when he did. We were just getting ready to leave for the Bahamas, but now we're not leaving until tomorrow."

"Wow, that is, um, lucky." James said, looking at her with a sort of amazed look on his face. It was evident that he was wondering how many brain cells he was losing by sitting there, listening to her talk.

"So, you know who would make, like, a totally cute couple?" She said, and we all just kind of looked at her. "Remus and Joie!" She exclaimed, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Remus and I looked at each other for a second, before we burst out laughing. Lily and James were laughing as well.

"What? Why is that so funny?" Lisa demanded, sounding highly offended.

"Remus and me?" I gasped, tears rolling down my cheeks. "You've got to be bloody joking!"

"Honestly, I mean, Sunshine, do you remember when we tried that whole thing?" He asked, laughing just as hard as me.

"How could I forget?" I replied, clutching my side.

"Wait, tried what?" James asked, looking confused.

"Well, the summer after third year we tried going out." I said, as soon as my breathing had returned and I could talk. "I mean, we had known each other so long, and we weresuch good friends, we thought that it made sense."

"Yeah, and it was _really_ awkward." Remus added, wiping the tears away from his eyes. "I mean, we tried kissing and everything."

"Needless to say, it didn't really work out." I said, taking a deep breath. "We decided to just pretend that it never happened."

"Wow, I never even suspected." James said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, I mean, seriously, what happened to never keeping secrets between us?" Sirius said, his tone not quite as playful as it should have been.

"Honestly, it's not like anything big happened. I mean, we didn't even snog." Remus said, looking at Sirius with a slight frown.

"Yeah, but still, you went out." He said, and I could sense his temper rising ever so slightly.

"Padfoot, what's wrong with you?" James asked, looking surprised.

"Prongs, they _lied_ to us!" He said, his voice now getting louder.

"Not exactly, Padfoot." Remus said. "You never asked if Sunshine and I went out."

"I shouldn't have had to!" He yelled, standing up and glaring at Remus. "What happened to the Marauder's code, _Moony_?" He asked, saying the last word like it was poison in his mouth.

"Hey, Sirius, can I talk to you inside for a second?" I said, and without waiting for a reply I grabbed him by the arm and led him into the kitchen. "What the bloody hell is your problem?"

"Oh I have a problem now?" He asked, giving a bitter laugh. "You're the one dates people behind my back!" He said, and then he immediately shut his mouth. He looked as shocked as I felt.

"The last time I checked, Mr. Black, it wasn't any of your concern who I dated." I said, icily. "What do you care anyways?"

"I don't." He said, quickly. "It's just that you guys could've told us."

"It was awkward enough without everyone knowing. Besides, nothing really happened. Apart from the fact that I know that Moony and I will never get married." I replied.

"Okay, I'm sorry I flipped out. I've just been going through some stuff lately…" His voice trailed off and he looked away from me. "Look, it's really nothing. I guess I just kinda took my frustrations out on you."

"Okay." I said slowly, looking at him. He was acting very strange and I didn't like it.

"Well, we better get back out there, huh?" He said, and I nodded.

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The rest of the summer was relatively uneventful. I stayed with Lily for about a week and she showed me all the muggle shops and restaurants. Her sister was a narrow minded horse faced coward and I took pleasure in tormenting her. Lily didn't seem to mind in the least.

But, before I knew it, we were all at King's Cross getting ready to head back for our seventh year. It was finally starting to sink in that this was going to be my last year at Hogwarts and then I would be in the real world. Auror training was the only thing that really appealed to me and I didn't know what I would do if I didn't get into the program.

"So, this is the last time we'll ever be on the train for start of term." James said, as we sat down in a compartment. "It's actually kind of depressing."

"Thank you, Prongs, that's a lovely note to start the school year off with." Sirius said, sarcastically.

"But think about it this way, we're on top this year. Nothing can stop us." I said, smiling. "I mean, they threaten us with expulsion sure, but we're seventh years, we're almost done."

"Yeah, it's a nice feeling." Remus said, leaning back in his seat.

"And where is the lovely Miss Evans?" James asked, all of sudden, looking around as if she might be hiding.

"She had to go to the heads compartment." I said, shaking my head at him. "She got Head Girl, you know."

"Head Girl, eh? Well, that's not very shocking." Sirius said. James jumped up all of sudden.

"Bloody hell! I was suppose to be down there!" He said, smacking his forehead.

"What're you on about?" Remus asked, looking at him as if he were crazy.

"Oh, I must've forgotten to tell you," He said, looking at us and smacking his forehead again. "I'm Head Boy." He added, pulling out the badge as proof.

"No bloody way!" Sirius exclaimed, laughing.

"Yeah, honestly, who would make you Head Boy?" I asked, laughing as well.

"Dumbledore, apparently." James replied, sticking his tongue out at both of us. "Anyways, I completely forgot until just now."

"Hey, I'll go with you." Remus said, standing up. "I need to go down for prefect duty anyways."

They left, which meant it was just Sirius and I in the compartment. We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, both of us just looking out the window.

"Have you ever wanted someone that you can't have?" He asked me suddenly. I looked at him for a second, wondering what brought on this question.

"Yeah, I have." I said, quietly.

"You know what totally sucks about it?" He asked and I shook my head. "They never know that you want them because you know that you can't have them."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just resumed staring out the window. If only he knew how much I was in love with him. He didn't have a clue as to how perfect he was for me. He had no idea that he was my everything and that he completed me.

We got to Hogwarts, went to the feast, heard the same thing we'd heard every other year, ate until we couldn't eat anymore, and went off to bed. The big shock of the night for everyone was that Lily was actually being civil to James. I'd even go as far as to say that she was being friendly towards him.

"Hey Joie, can I ask you something?" Lily said, as we got ready for bed that night. Everyone else was already asleep. "And you have to be completely honest, okay?"

"Okay." I said, slowly. I didn't know where this was going.

"Is Remus a werewolf?" She asked, and I looked at her.

"What?" I asked, shocked that she could even have an idea about Remus.

"You heard me." She replied, calmly. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone or be all weird or anything. I just want to know."

"Yeah, he is." I said, quietly. "How did you know?"

"Well after that outburst in fifth year, I was interested to know why you so upset about what we had said about Remus." She said, with a half smile. "And so I watched him for a while and I started to notice little things. Like how tired he always looked and the scratches he always had. And then I started noticing bigger things. Such as how he only disappeared once a month and I would always hear horrible howls during the nights following the days that he would be absent. Then it all clicked. I watched him for a couple of more months and found that he was always gone on the full moons. I've suspected it for ages, I just didn't want to say anything in case I was wrong."

"Lily, you are bloody brilliant." I said, shaking my head at her.

"I try." She replied, with a laugh.

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The next morning I was the first one to wake up, which was fairly unusual. But, seeing as I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, I got up and got dressed. When I went down to the Great Hall, I found Remus sitting there eating and reading a book.

"Morning." I said, sitting down next to him.

"Morning." He said, glancing up at me. I helped myself to some toast and oatmeal. I knew I had to tell him Lily knew, I just didn't know how he would react.

"So, what if someone outside the Marauders knew about your furry little problem?" I asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"What do you mean?" He asked, looking at me. "We all vowed never to tell anyone."

"Yeah, I know, but what if someone else knew? Would you be mad?" I pressed on.

"Depends on the person you told." He said, giving a piercing look.

"Well, I didn't exactly tell her, I mean, she had already pretty much figured it out." I said, looking away form him.

"Who?"

"Lily."

"Oh." He said, after a moment. "Well, it doesn't really surprise me that she figured it out."

"So, you're okay with it?" I asked, and he smiled at me.

"Yeah, I'm okay with it."

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_and now please review...it's been a tad disappointing lately, I haven't gotten many reviews... :( honestly, guys, it takes like two seconds to punch the review button and say 'hey, this chapter was great' or 'hey, this story sucks, what are you thinking?' preferably the first one, but hey, whatever you think, I want to know! thanks..._


	15. Over My Head

Ch. 15- Over My Head

**A/N:** _okay, so I am sooooooooo sorry it's taken sooooo long for me to update. I've actually been ready to update for a while now, it's just that it's the end of my senior year and everything's been pretty crazy. That and it's field week- which at my school means creating a theme, decorating our halls, and parading down to Benson Park and doing a demonstration of why our class has the most spirit. You really can't understand it unless you actually go there, so don't feel bad if you tell me myt school's weird- it really, truly is. okay, anyways, enough of rambling and making up excuses- here is ch. 15!_

_I never knew  
I never knew that everything was falling through  
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue  
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth  
But that's how it's got to be  
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy  
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see  
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears and _

Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind

_Over My Head (Cable Car)- The Fray_

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Classes were surprisingly alright. Nothing too terribly hard and I felt as though I knew what was going on in the lessons. The first month flew by and there some changes happening. One was the fact that James and Lily had started to use each other's first names. And they were friends. Not on friendly terms, but actually and trulyfriends. The other change that was big was the fact that after Sirius had dumped Lisa he hadn't immediately dated anyone. He'd had plenty of offers, but he turned them all down.

"Still no dates, Padfoot?" I asked him one night as I sat down next to him in the Common Room. It was fairly empty, which was strange as it was getting late.

"Nah, I want a meaningful relationship this year." He said, shaking his head.

"Wait! Do my ears deceive me?" I gasped, in mock shock. "Did Mr. Black just say that he wanted a "meaningful" relationship?"

"Yes, he did." He replied, playfully hitting me.

"And none of your fan club members are up to par?" I asked, giving him a sideways glance.

"That would be a no. Most of them are about as smart as a pinhead." He said, pulling a face. "Actually I think the pinhead would be smarter." He added as an afterthought and I laughed.

"You're terrible, you know that?" I told him and he grinned at me. "What about dearest Lisa?"

"Eh, she turned out not to be my type. And it only took me a month and a half to figure it out. I mean, I thought she might've been, but she didn't really like my friends and she was totally fake." He said, shrugging. "I dunno."

"I'm sure you'll find the right girl, Padfoot." I said, looking at him.

"That's the thing, Sunshine. I've already found her and I am absolutely head over heels for her. I just don't know if she feels the same way about me." He said, shaking his head, a sad smile on his lips. "And I can't decide whether or not I should tell her how I feel. I mean, what if she doesn't feel the same way? What if she doesn't even like me in that way? It would ruin so much and I don't know if I could handle that."

"I think you should follow your heart." I said, after a moment. It broke my heart to say this, but what I wanted most for Sirius was for him to be happy. "If it tells you to go for it, then tell her. I'm sure she feels the same way."

"How can you be so sure?" He asked, looking at me, something indescribable in his eyes.

"Simply because any girl would be amazingly lucky to have a guy like you. And if she doesn't feel the same way, then it's her loss and you'd be better off without her." I said, smiling at him.

"Yeah, well, I don't think I could live without her." He said, looking away from me and into the fire.

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell him how I felt now. He had found a girl that he had fallen for and now I had no chance. He'd never know that I was head over heels for him or that I couldn't live without him. He'd never know that I was completely and utterly in love with him or that he was everything to me. And I hadn't realized just how in over my head I was until that moment.

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October turned into November, which faded into December. Christmas was upon us and the castle certainly looked the part. Everyone was staying at Hogwarts this year because there was to be masquerade ball the day after term ended for fourth year and up. It was all that anyone could talk about- dresses, who would dance with who, and who would be crowned as the best dressed. Nobody was allowed to take a date because that defeated the whole purpose of the masquerade. People were expected to find the person they wanted to be with at the ball.

"So, Lily, what are you going to wear?" I asked, as we ate breakfast a few days after the announcement had been made.

"I dunno yet. I need to get down to Hogsmeade on the next visit and look at that wonderful boutique. They have the most unique gowns."

"Yeah, I should look down there as well." I said, taking a bite of my pancake. The mail arrived and a gray owl dropped a rather large parcel in front of me.

"What is that?" Lily asked, looking at it interestedly.

"I dunno." I replied, opening the card on the package.

_Joie-_

_Inside this parcel you will find something that belonged to your mother. It has been passed down to the eldest girl when she comes of age for generations on her side of the family. You're birthday is coming up soon over break, so consider it a sort of early Christmas/ coming of age present. You may even be able to use it for the ball that's being held at school. Take good care of it and I'm sure you'll love it._

_Love Always-_

_Dad_

I picked the package up and took it up to the dorm, with Lily right behind me reading the note Dad had written. As soon as we closed the door, I hurriedly opened the package. Inside was a gorgeous old-fashioned gown. It was black, with a corset that tapered to a narrow point at the waist. From there it flowed out into a full petticoat that reached the floor. It had a pattern of stars woven into it with silver threads and also inside was a pair of what seemed to be black glass slippers.

"Merlin! Look at this gown!" Lily gasped, taking it form em and examining it. "And these shoes! Joie, this must be ages and ages old! And it's still in perfect condition!"

"I know!" I said, just as in awe as she was.

"We've got a free period right now, try it on!" She said, excitedly.

"But, Lily, what if doesn't fit?" I asked, but she would have none of it. She insisted that I try it on.

I slipped it on and Lily did the corset and buttoned up the back. It was perfect, as were the shoes. I examined myself in the mirror- the dress fitted me in all the right places. It was amazing that it fitted me so well, but then, I assumed that there some sort of spell that did that.

"Joie, you look absolutely beautiful!" Lily said, examining me as well. "You are going to wear this for the ball aren't you?"

"Of course! Do you think I'm that thick?" I replied and she merely laughed in response.

The next weekend was Hogsmeade and Lily and I were on a mission- get our costumes absolutely perfect. Our first stop was the boutique to get Lily a dress. As soon as we walked in we knew that this was the right place. The sign in the window wasn't a lie- there were no two dresses that we were same. Lily finally picked out two that she liked and tried them on. The first one was a deep Sapphire blue that had layers and layers of flowing material. It was strapless and beautiful. But the second one was the one that was perfect for Lily.

It was white and petite in the top. At the waist it began to flow out into a looser fit. The material was soft and the bottom had layers like the first one, but this dress seemed to fit Lily better. Whether it was the fact that it contrasted with her vibrant red hair perfectly or seemed to fit to her every curve, I didn't know. But I did know that if she didn't buy that dress I was going to buy it for her.

Our next stop was a little costume shop. It was nearly invisible- in fact you would walk right past it if you didn't know it was there. We went in and browsed for a few minutes, just looking at our options.

"I think you need to get the shooting star mask, Joie." Lily said, as we looked at the specialty wall behind the counter. "It matches you dress perfectly- look, the stars are even silver!"

"Yeah, and you should get the one decorated with lilies. A lily for Lily!" I said, and we both laughed.

We spent the rest of the day walking around the village and talking about the ball. I wasn't really a dressy up sort of person, but I was excited about this. Maybe I could meet someone that would take my mind off of Sirius. I'd been growing more and more depressed about the whole situation since we'd talked. I hid it, but I knew Lily knew something was wrong and I was almost positive that James and Remus knew something was up too.

"Let's grab a drink at the Three Broomsticks, eh?" Lily said, and I nodded. We walked in and I saw James and Remus sitting at a table. We headed over there after grabbing a couple of Butterbeers.

"Great, you got her here." Remus said, nodding at Lily.

"Of course I did." She replied, easily. I looked from Remus to Lily.

"What's going on?" I asked, confused.

"Pull up a seat Sunshine." James said, in a strangefriendly voice that I never heard him use.

"Yeah, so this definitely classifies has strange and odd behavior." I said, sitting down. "Where's Sirius?"

"Ah, and we get to the subject of our little meeting." Remus said, in the same voice James was using. I looked at my three friends and decided that they had gone crazy. In any case, I didn't like where this conversation was heading.

"Dear old Padfoot is still looking for a costume for the ball. He has no idea that we're here. We told him we were going to poke around Zonko's and that we would meet up with him later." James said.

"Okay, so why is Sirius the subject of this meeting?" I asked, almost afraid of what the answer would be.

"We've noticed some odd behavior between the two of you lately. Sirius doesn't date, you're depressed. What's going on?" Remus asked, folding his hands. He looked like one of those muggle psychiatrists.

"I have no idea what you're on about." I said, smoothly, with a shrug.

"Look, Joie, if you won't tell them I will. They came to me to ask if I knew anything and I told them it was up to you to tell them. But this is getting ridiculous." Lily said, and Ishot her a death glare.

"Okay, fine, so maybe I like him." I said, and the three of them exchanged a satisfied smile. "But it's a little too late. Has been for a couple of months now."

"What makes you say that?" James asked, frowning.

"We were talking and he was telling me about this girl he was head over heels for and so I know I've got zero chance." I said, indifferently.

"But Joie-" Remus started and I cut him off.

"No, Remus, don't make excuses. He's free to like whomever he wants. And the only thing I want is for him to be truly happy." I said, seriously.

"Bloody Merlin, you're really crazy for him, aren't you?" James said, and I nodded.

"Well, we'll just have to show him that you're the girl for him." Remus said, and I looked at him.

"You mean, you guys are okay with this?" I said, surprised.

"Sunshine, we've known for a while now." James said, smiling at me.

"How long?" I asked.

"Since last year." Remus said.

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Now that James and Remus knew, it was a little easier to bear. I didn't have to worry as much about keeping everything under wraps. I had no idea of how I was going to tell Sirius how I felt, but everything was put on hold because the ball was coming up. And I knew the boys were planning something- they were being very secretive.

"Alright, so, let's start getting ready." Lily said, the day of the ball.

"So, I'll do hair and you do make-up." I said, as we slipped our gowns on.

It took us two and a half hours all together to get ready. Which was pretty amazing if I do say so myself. I did Lily's hair in an elegant bun with a few tendrils framing her face. Then I stuck a few lilies in her hair to offset the mask and her dress. She did her make-up modestly as she was pretty fair skinned and she looked absolutely gorgeous.

I styled my hair in a simple up-do. Lily did my make-up in darker colors than her own and stuck little star pins in my hair. We checked our appearances in the mirror, declared ourselves perfect, and headed down to the Great Hall.

"Wow, the decorating committee really outdid themselves." Lily said, as we walked through.

"Yeah, no kidding." I replied, looking around. There were giant masks in the four corners of the hall and the ceiling was a clear night with thousands of stars. There was a stage set up at one end of the hall and about a hundred small tables at the other end.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! May I have you attention!" Dumbledore's voice boomed out from the stage. "Before the band comes out, we have a little opening show!"

Music stuck up from somewhere and I recognized it as a song from Lily's collection. It was "Get Down Tonight" by KC and The Sunshine Band. And who do you suppose was up on the stage doing a nice little choreographed dance in perfect rhythm to it- none other than the Remus, James, and Sirius. They were even dressed in American muggle clothing: bellbottoms and feathered shirts, and of course platform shoes.

_Do a little dance _(lasso, lasso)

_Make a little love_ (right, right, left, left)

_Get down tonight_ (down, up)

_Get down tonight_ (down up)

It was, quite possibly, the funniest thing I'd ever seen in my life. But they were really good. There was a point towards the end where the all did a back handspring and went down into the splits, turn over onto their backs and sprung back up again. How they did it in platform shoes was totally beyond me. When the song ended the whole hall erupted into cheers as the boys bowed and waved.

"Thank you to the Marauders for that entertaining show. And now, the band you have all been waiting for- Potions Gone Bad!" Dumbledore shouted and the band came on to set up.

"Well, that was quite interesting." Lily said, still chuckling. "I especially liked the part where they went down into the splits."

"You too, eh?" I replied, smiling cheekily at her.

The first part of the dance was kind of boring. I turned down three or four requests to dance, preferring to just watch from the sides. Lily was dancing with tall, dark, and handsome boy- or at least as handsome as he could be with a mask. He had curly black hair and a nice smile. I wondered if James was watching. I had no idea where any of the guys were- we hadn't told each other what we would be wearing.

"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice that you standing here all by yourself." A voice from behind me said. I turned and saw a tall boy with light brown, slightly messy hair standing there. He was wearing suit with a cape and his mask was half white, half black. "Would you care to dance?"

I was on the verge of declining, when something stopped me. There was something about the way he was looking at me that made me take the hand he was offering and allowing him to lead onto the dance floor.

"You seem very familiar, do I know you?" I asked him, as we whirled around the dance floor.

"Possibly, fair maiden, but you are wearing a mask, as am I, so it is a little difficult to tell." He replied, with an air of ease and confidence.

"So it would seem." I said, softly.

I spent a good couple of hours dancing with him and I felt as though we'd known each other for ages. He was charming and sweet, with a sense of humor that could match my own.

"Hey, do you want to go out to the grounds?" He asked, as a song finished.

"Yeah." I said, and he led the way to a beautiful fountain as we sat down on the edge of it.

"You asked me who I was and if you knew me." He said, looking into my eyes. "The answer is yes, you do know me."

"How?" I asked, frowning,

"I was given advice by a very good friend of mine a few months back." He said, standing up. I was confused- what did this have to do with how I knew him? "I was told to follow my heart and tell a fair maiden, such as yourself, how I felt."

His words seemed vaguely familiar, yet I couldn't quite place them. In fact, everything about him seemed familiar and I couldn't figure out why.

"So, fair maiden, it is now time for me to reveal to you my identity- although I'm thinking you may have guessed who I am already." He continued, turning to face me. He reached up and pulled his mask off and I saw-

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_dun dun dun- who could it be? I dunno- actually I do, but you don't! anyways, review please and maybe I will tell you who this masked boy is- if haven't already guessed..._


	16. Unmasked

Ch. 16- Unmasked

**A/N:** okay, I am sooooooo sorry that it's taken me soooo long to update. I've been going through a whole bunch of drama and stuff with my best friend and it was pretty bad for a while. anyways, I'm back now and hopefully I'll be updating more regularly. Don't worry, I shall finish this story, even if it takes me years:p

_Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all  
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet  
As what I can't have  
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair  
round your finger  
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you  
What I feel about you.  
_

_Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have  
and cannon ball into the water  
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have  
For you I will  
For you I will_

_Forgive if I stutter  
From all of the clutter in my head  
Cause I could fall asleep in those eyes  
Like a water bed  
Do I seem familiar, I've crossed you in hallways  
a thousand times, no more camouflage  
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.  
For You I Will (Confidence) -Teddy Geiger _

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"Sirius?" I said, incredulously.

"Yeah," He said, with a nod. "Look, there's something I need to tell you."

"Are you sure you've got the right girl?" I asked, wondering what was going on. Surely I wasn't supposed to be here. "You do know who I am, right?"

"Of course I know who you are." He said, laughing. "You're my bright little ray of sunshine." He added, a half smile playing on his lips. I didn't say anything else, so he continued.

"I've trying to work up the courage to tell you this for six years now." He said, and I stared at him dumbfounded. "So, forgive me if still isn't perfect."

"_Six_ years?" I said, and he nodded. "But what about that other girl you were telling me about?"

"Can't you see, it's been you all along." He replied, shaking his head.

"But how come it's taken you so long to tell me?"

"I was afraid and, well, you were the first girl to resist me and you told me I had no chance. And I know we had just met and you didn't mean to say it and everything, but I guess that I just took it as you weren't interested." He replied, with a shrug. "And I was okay with that at first, I was just happy that we were friends. But once I realized that I had fallen for you I didn't know what to do."

"When was this?"

"Well, I fell for you the night I met you, but I didn't realize it until third year. And then I started dating all the girls in school because I thought I would find one that would make me forget about my feelings for you. I figured that if I had no chance that I just might as well move on." He continued, looking at the ground. "But there was just one thing wrong with my plan- I could never find someone who even came close to you. I tried so hard, but I always found something wrong with the girls I would date or I would do something to drive them away. Lisa was probably the closet I'd come to comparing to you, but that was only because I told myself she was you every time we were together.

"And then when you met Jon and started dating him, I was insanely jealous. I would stay awake at night, thinking of ways I could break you guys up, but I knew I would never follow through on any of them. He made you happy and that was all that mattered. And after when you were telling us about how he…you know…hurt you, I couldn't stand it. Hearing you relive it, knowing how much pain you had gone through, it tore my heart out. I came so close, so many times, to just telling you, and believe me I did want to, but I couldn't deal with it if you didn't feel the same way. And then that would make things really awkward between us and our friendship would be ruined.

"So, why tell me now?" I asked, and he looked up at me.

"Simply because I'm not afraid anymore. I should've told you how I felt long ago, but I couldn't. Now I can." He said. "Joie, I love you, with all of my heart, all of my being and I want nothing more than to be the lucky man that's blessed enough to have you."

I sat there dumbfounded by the speech he had just made. He loved me? He seriously loved me? I mean, how could this be happening? Here was the boy of my dreams confessing his love for me and not being able tell me for six years. It sounded like something off of one of those muggle romance shows or books. But this was truly happening to me- I even pinched myself to be sure. I came to my senses and saw Sirius standing there.

"Now would be a good time to say something, Sunshine." He said, his tone now anxious. I stood up and walked over to him.

"Are you absolutely one-hundred percent sure?" I asked, looking into his eyes.

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life." He replied, dead serious.

"Good." I said, smiling. "Neither have I." I added and I kissed him softly on the lips- sweet and swift lasting only a few seconds.

He looked at me, a mixture of relief, surprise, and utter happiness in his eyes. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me again. Only this time the kiss was deepened and became passionate- I felt it in every part of my body. Time seemed to stop for us and the world fell away. It was perfect.

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"So, where did you go to? I mean, I saw dancing with some guy one minute and then the next you had disappeared." Lily said, later that night. It was well past two in the morning, but we were still up. "And you're suspiciously giddy. What's going on?"

"Well, the guy I was dancing with turned out to be…" I paused for dramatic effect, "Sirius!"

"Really?" She said, excitement coming into her voice. "So their plan worked." She added to herself.

"Plan? What plan?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"Oh bloody hell! Nothing, absolutely nothing!" She said quickly.

"No, out with it." I said. "C'mon, what plan?"

"Alright, well, James and Remus and I were talking a couple of weeks ago, just after you told them about how you liked Sirius." She said, with a sigh. "And, well, we were trying to think of ways to get you guys together. I mentioned something about the other girl that Sirius liked and they told me that there was no other girl. Sirius had been talking about you. So, then we talking about how the ball would be the perfect place for you guys to hook up and that's when they came up with a plan. They would tell Sirius what you would be wearing and he would change his appearance enough so that with a mask on you wouldn't be able to tell who he was. Then he would dance with you and profess his undying love for you."

"Well, it worked." I replied, with a grin. "But enough about me, who was the guy you were dancing with? I don't think I saw you with anyone else."

"Well, I'm not entirely sure who he is." Lily said, a goofy sort of smile spreading across her face. "But he was completely _perfect_! I mean, he was polite, charming, funny, sweet, and I dunno. There was just something about him. He wasn't at all like James."

"But you and Prongs have been getting along this year." I said, feeling sorry for poor James. I didn't know how he was going to compete with this new masked stranger.

"True, but this guy was much more mature than James could ever be and he wasn't arrogant or cocky at all." She said. "The funny thing was that he knew so much about me and I had no clue at all as to who he was."

"Well, is he in Gryffindor house?" I asked, frowning thoughtfully.

"No, I don't think so. He walked me to the portrait hole, kissed my hand, and left." She replied, shaking her head. "I just wish I knew who he was. He was perfect and has fate would have it I have no idea who he is!"

"Well, I'm sure you'll find out, Lils. I mean, he's going to have to tell you eventually, isn't he?" I said.

The break went by and Christmas was alright. It wasn't quite as merry as it should have been. I was worried about dad and what might be happening to him. He'd sent a present, but other than that I hadn't heard from him.

It was also quite strange to get used to going out with Sirius. Nothing had really changed between us, but with the rest of the school it was a different story. It wasn't too bad until the first week back from break. Everywhere I went girls were shooting me daggers more than usual. Although now they had a somewhat plausible reason than before, it was still annoying. But no one was as bad as the Sirius Black Fan Club girls. They tried to sabotage me whenever they could. Which never worked out because Sirius hadn't been kidding when he told me that they were as bright as a pinhead.Lisa was particularly bitter about us hooking up. She hadn't quite ever gotten over Sirius.

"Well, at leastthat one was somewhat close to stealthy." Lily said, one day after the latest girl had tried to hex me.

"Yeah, if you can count air-headed giggling as stealthy." I replied, sourly. "Why don't they just give up? Can't they see that I can't be beat. This is getting old."

"Well, that's what you get for dating Hogwarts' most sought after guy." Lily said, laughing. "Besides, you can't tell me that you don't think it's worth it, 'cause I know you think it is."

"Well, it is!" I said, indignantly. "I just wish they would give it a rest for a while. Anyways, let's stop talking about it. We can pretend like it's not happening and I can live in lala land at least through lunch."

"Alright, then, what do you want to talk about?" She asked, and I thought for a second.

"The Masked Prince." I said, grinning at her as she started blushing madly.

Since the Masquerade Ball the masked stranger had sent countless notes and a few gifts, but we still didn't know who it was. He never signed his name, it was always "_Your Masked Prince Charming_". It was pretty sappy and corny, but Lily was totally falling for it. She always wrote back to him and left it at the Room of Requirements, which was their little exchange point. And James, who I pitied because of this stranger, was taking it surprisingly well. He hadn't gone on a jealous rage yet, demanding the guy to step forward. He actually seemed perfectly content.

"Well, I got another note from him today in Ancient Runes. It was sitting on my desk when I walked in." She said, fishing it out of her bag. "There, read it!"

_My dearest Lily,_

_I have found myself watching you more and more lately. I want to tell you so badly who I am, but I fear that once I do, you will not be so fond of me. You tell me that I am perfect and that nothing will change, yet I can't believe that. For I do have flaws and if you knew who I was I am not so certain that you would be so quick to forgive them. You tell me that as long as I am not a certain messy haired Marauder you will not care- but are you certain? What if I turn out to be more like him than you believe? Would you still feel the same way about me? What if I am simply some poor boy who knows how to woo a beautiful girl? Have you thought of the reason I have stayed masked for this long? I merely wanted to have a chance for you to get to know _me_ before you knew who I was. Think about it long and hard before giving a response._

_Always-_

_Your Masked __Prince Charming _

"So, what are you going to do?" I asked, once I'd finished reading.

"I'm not sure." She said, frowning. "I mean, based on the dance and the letters I've totally fallen for him, but if heturned out to be like James I dunno what I would do."

"Well, Lils, you got two choices, I think," I said, after a second. "You can tell him that if he's going to turn out James then to forget it because you don't want that. Or you can screw what you think of James and everyone like him and go by the letters he's been sending you. I personally think the latter is the better choice, because like he said in the letter- he wanted a chance for you to know him before you knew who he was."

"But what if I'm disappointed?" She asked, biting her lip.

"How in the world do you think you could be disappointed?" I said, incredulously. "Lily, here is a boy who has gone to great lengths just to be able to talk to you. I mean, sure he might not be _perfect_, but why would you want that? Nobody's perfect and it's our flaws that make us interesting. And if the fact about James is true, then you have to make a decision: is James really so bad that you don't want anyone that comes even remotely close to being like him around?"

"No that's not it. I'm just worried that he won't meet my expectations." She replied, and I looked at her confused.

"I'm sure he will, Lils." I said, shaking my head. "Why don't you just meet him and see?"

"Yes, I suppose that would work." She said, and she got up left to go write him. Not even a minute later her seat was occupied by Sirius.

"Hey there, love." He said, pecking me on the cheek. "How's it going?"

"Eh, just trying to figure out who Lily's masked prince is." I replied, with a shrug.

"Really? Any ideas yet?" He said, with a slight smirk.

"Nah, she's going to find out who he is and then decide I think." I said. "Besides, if the guy turned out to be exactly like James, I think he'd still have a shot. Lily's not that cold hearted."

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Lily got a response from the Masked Prince saying that he'd meet her by the lake that Saturday night at seven thirty. She spent the rest of the week worrying about it. I didn't know what to tell her.

When Saturday finally came, Lily was driving me up the wall the entire day. If she wasn't worrying about who the guy was, she was worrying about what she was going to wear or what she was going to say. About half way through the day I threatened to put a silencing charm on her if she didn't shut up. I cared, I really did, but I'd spent the last week listening the same exact thing.

"Okay, you may now start worrying again." I told her at six thirty.

"You gave me an hour?" She asked, incredulously. "How am I supposed to get ready in an hour?"

"You need an hour to get ready?" I said, laughing and she glared at me. "Alright, alright, look, I'll help you. Here, put on these jeans and this shirt. It's not fancy, but simple is better. Trust me on this. And then just let your hair down- it looks best natural. Light make-up, if any at all."

"Are you crazy? No make-up?" She asked, as though I were crazy.

"Lily, are _you_ crazy? Look in the mirror- you don't need it. You positively gorgeous the way you are." I said, turning her around, making her look at herself.

"I'm trusting you." She said, darkly, before going into the bathroom to get ready.

When she came out she looked freshened, more relaxed than I'd seen her in days, and absolutely perfect. The shirt I'd given her was a simple black tee; she had on a pair of trainers, and no make-up. She inspected herself in the mirror and then turned to face me.

"Wow, I can't believe I doubted you. I look pretty good." She said, smiling.

"Pretty good? Lily, this guy's going to be drooling when he sees you." I said, and we both laughed. "You'd better get going if you want to be there on time. I'll walk you down."

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, she off on her own. I stood just inside the great oak doors, watching her go. I could see someone in the distance, standing at the edge of the lake. I didn't know who it was, but I was sure Lily would tell me.

Just as I was about to turn around and go back up to the Common Room, I saw two figures moving down the grounds and finally hiding behind some rocks by the lake. I turned into my animagus form and made my way towards them. I saw that it was Sirius and Remus when I was close enough.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, changing back. They both jumped a mile and turned around.

"Sunshine! Don't do that!" Sirius said, letting out a deep breath.

"We're watching the show, care to join us?" Remus said, gesturing towards Lily and the stranger, who was masked.

"Well, I see that you're watching, but why?" I asked, kneeling down behind the rock by them.

"For James' sake, of course." Sirius said, simply. From where we were we could here what they were saying and Lily had reached him by now, so we all fell silent.

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man, I am just horrible with these cliffhangers...any guesses as to who it could be? i'm sure you guys know! anyways, please review:p


	17. Endings and Beginnings

Ch. 17- Endings and Beginnings

**A/N:** wow, look who finally decided to update...me! guys, I am _soooooooooo_ sorry I haven't updated for almost two months, I know you must be ready to tar and feather me in a public square. but, I have been pretyt busy between work eveyr day and college stuff and my friend and I starting a band and what not- I know, I know, no excuse, but hey, there are only so many hours in a day and I do happen to need some of them for sleep...so with out further ado, here is chapter 17! enjoy :p

_And life is a road and I wanna keep goin'  
Love is a river I wanna keep flowin'  
Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey  
I'll be there when the world stops turning  
I'll be there when the storm is through  
In the end I want to be standing  
At the beginning with you  
At The Beginning- Richard Marx and Donna Lewis_

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"My dearest Lily, you have come to find out who I am, no doubt." He said, and she nodded. "Well, then I shouldn't disappoint you, now should I?"

He took his mask off and standing there was James. Suddenly everything clicked and I didn't know how I hadn't realized it before. All of it- the letters, the mystery, and the hidden identity. Of course he wasn't going to tell her who he was because she would have never gone for it. And now he had made her fall for him. I had to hand it to him- he was good.

"James?" Lily said, in a shocked voice. "But how? I mean, it couldn't have been you."

"Why not?" He asked, a slight grin playing on his lips.

"Because…because…it's just not possible! I mean, the boy met at the ball was the exact opposite of you!" She spluttered.

"The boy you met at the ball was me. The boy you've known for the past four years is also me. I've grown up a lot, even since last year, but I knew you would never see that unless you didn't know it was me." He said, the grin spreading across his face. "I knew that you would never give me a full chance until you knew that I wasn't so pigheaded anymore. And Lily that's what you've seen these past couple of months."

"But all of the letters- those definitely didn't sound like you. And the things you said at the ball definitely weren't things that you would say." She said, shaking her head. "Everything about the guy I met at the ball contradicts you're very being, Potter. He was mature and polite and charming!"

"Oh and I'm not charming?" James asked, pretending to be hurt. "Love can make you do crazy things, Evans."

"Love? Ha!" She laughed, throwing her hands up in the air. "How could you love me when I've done nothing but reject you and yell at you and throw everything you've ever tried to do back in your face?"

"Simply because you're the only thing I've never been able to have. The first time you rejected me I swore to myself that somehow I would make you fall for me and then I would have you. Even if it took the rest of my life." He said, looking at her. "And I've done exactly that."

"But you don't have me yet. I might have fallen for you, but I never said that I was yours." She said, and his face fell. "How do I know that weren't just lying to me to get what you want?"

"Oh, c'mon Lily, when have I ever lied about who I was? That's one thing I would never do- especially to you." He retorted, indignantly. "Honestly, I thought that I finally had you convinced that I'm not the bad guy you've made me out to be."

"I just can't ignore the past four years, James." She said, quietly.

"But obviously you can ignore the past six months." He said, sourly. "Look, I get it, okay? It all comes down to the same thing- I will never be good enough for you, so I should just give up. That's what you want, right? It's what you've wanted for four years now."

"Well, I-" She started, but James cut her off.

"No, don't worry about it, I'll leave you alone. I will never bother you again- that's a promise." He said, in an even tone. And with that he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Lily standing there- and leaving all of us shocked. After a minute, Lily headed back up to the castle too.

"What the hell just happened?" Sirius asked, looking as though we were in the twilight zone- which we may have well been in.

"Prongs just said that he was giving up on Lily." I said, and saying it out loud made it sound more bizarre.

"Okay, just making sure." He replied, nodding his head slightly.

"But why would he just give up on her like that?" I asked, shaking my head. "I mean, he's been in love with her for, like, ever."

"Well, I think he just got tired of her rejecting him." Remus said, thoughtfully. "That's why he created the "Masked Prince Charming". He wanted Lily to know the real him- the guy that we all know. And I think that when she didn't believe that it could possibly be him, he snapped."

"But it's hard to think that the Evans chase is over." Sirius said. "I mean, Prongs isn't Prongs if he isn't constantly fawning over Evans."

"Yeah, well, let's just see what tomorrow brings, eh?" Remus replied, with a shrug.

The next day brought more weirdness with it. James didn't say a word to Lily, didn't acknowledge her presence- in fact, he acted as though she didn't exist. Lily was in denial of the whole situation- she was hanging on the belief that James would start being himself again at any second. But she was sorely disappointed. The rest of the school didn't know what was going on, but they started noticing that James Potter, chaser of Lily Evans extraordinaire, was completely ignoring her. It was as though someone had turned the world up side down.

"I don't get it." Lily said a few nights later in the dorm. "I mean, he's been chasing me this long and I've rejected millions of times before- why give up now?"

"Lily, there's only so many times a person can be rejected. Besides, you rejected the fact that he went to great lengths to show you who he truly is." I replied, shaking my head. "And trust me, those letters and the things he told you were really him."

"I've messed up big time, haven't I?" She asked, and I nodded. "Well, then, there's only one thing to do- I've got to make it right."

"Whoa, hold on a second," I said, holding up my hand as she got up. "Are you saying you like James?"

"No," She said, very seriously. "I'm saying that I am head over heels in _love_ with him. It's taken four years and huge blow out to make me realize that. I just hope that I'm not too late."

"Well, go then, and don't let him shrug you off. Make him listen." I said, and she smiled at me gratefully before dashing out of the dorms.

"Hey, Sunshine! Where's Evans going?" Sirius asked, as I came down to the Common Room.

"To tell Prongs that she loves him." I replied, smiling.

"_What_? But she shot him down!" He said, in disbelief.

"And she just realized that she was completely and utterly wrong." I said. "Where is James anyways?"

"Wallowing in self pity on the Qudditch pitch." Remus said, looking over the book he was reading. "I'm surprised that he hasn't gone and drowned himself him the lake."

"Well, I hope he listens to her." I sighed, sitting down next to Sirius.

"Me too, Sunshine, me too."

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It turned out that James didn't listen to Lily. In fact, he just left her alone again. I just didn't get it. I mean, hadn't he already proven his point that Lily should have accepted who he was and believed him? Why was he still pushing her away? Any idiot could see that she was miserable now and that she had come to terms with her feelings. And the worst part was this: she was giving up now too.

"Look, Joie, he doesn't want me anymore, he's made that clear." She said, in a firm voice. We'd been arguing over the issue and she just wouldn't listen to reason.

"Lily, can you honestly say that he's truly given up on you?" I asked, skeptically.

"Yes, I can." She said, nodding. "It just wasn't meant to be, okay? Now stop pushing it, I'm sick of talking about it."

"You really fell hard for him, didn't you?" I said, looking at her and shaking my head. "I can see it in your eyes- you're devastated that he won't even look at you anymore."

"Okay, so maybe I am." She replied, shortly. "I tried to show him that he was right, I tried telling him. It's just too late for me."

"No it isn't." I said, standing up. "Not if I have anything to do with it."

I went downstairs and looked around for Sirius or Remus. I found Remus sitting in a corner attempting to drown out the noisy Common Room.

"Where is dear Mr. Potter?" I asked, him and he looked up.

"Where do you think? Out on the pitch. That's where he spends all of his time now." He said, sourly. "I tried talking to him, Sirius tried to drag him back. Nothing's worked."

"Yeah, well, I think I can change that." I said, turning on my heel and making my way down to the Qudditch pitch.

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"So, I have these two friends and they sort of fell for each other. Only one of them didn't realize it until the other disguised himself. She kinda made a fool of herself and he got mad." I said to James' back. I'd been standing there for about five minutes thinking of what to say. "And so he stopped talking to her. Only, she realized a few days later that she felt the same way- she'd just been a little scared to admit it. So, she found him and tried to tell him how she really felt, but he wouldn't listen. She's totally heartbroken and in denial and he still won't talk to anybody. Now what I can't figure out is this: the boy has been madly in love with this girl for four years now. Why is he rejecting her when she finally realizes that she's in love with him too?"

"Go away, Sunshine. Just leave me alone." He said, in a monotonous voice.

"Yeah, see, I would but you're being a bloody idiot and you seem to be the only one who doesn't know it." I replied, walking closer to him.

"I mean it, there's nothing anyone can do." He said, not looking at me. "It's over."

"Well, I don't believe you and frankly, Prongsie, old boy, I'm sick of your wallowing, self pitying behavior." I said, an edge coming into my voice. "Just get over yourself and tell her that you still love her."

"What part of "leave me the bloody hell alone" did you not understand?" He asked, angrily standing up and facing me. "It's none of your business!"

"It's my business that you're just going to walk away from the one girl that you're supposed to be with. It's my business that Lily cries herself to sleep every night and can't seem to grasped that you're just being a pigheaded ignoramus!" I said, raising my voice. "It's my business that you're about to make the worst mistake of your life! It's my business because I'm your friend!"

"Yeah, well, this is sorta my personal business, not my friends' business." He said, turning back around.

"Really? Well, you know what? It was sorta my personal business that Jon raped me, but that didn't stop you from butting in, now did it?" I shot back and he stiffened. "And you know what else? It was the best thing that you could've done. Now, I'm just repaying the favor."

"Look, I appreciate it and all, but really, there's nothing wrong." He said, looking at me again.

"Too bad I know differently." I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Sunshine, I mean it, don't butt in. This can't be fixed. She doesn't want me and she can't accept me for who I am and-" SMACK! He was cut off buy the fact that I slapped him as hard as I could across the face. "Bloody Merlin! What the bloody hell was that for?" He yelled, clutching his cheek.

"For being an pigheaded ignoramus, you dolt." I said, and he glared at me. "Listen up, because I'm only going to tell you this once, okay?" I added, and he nodded silently.

"Lily is madly, head over heels in love with you- this is a fact. You need to get over yourself and tell her that it's not too late and that you still love her- cause I know you do." I said, and he looked at me, shocked I was telling him what to do with his love life. "Finally, do us all a favor and stop sulking down here in all of your spare time- you're driving us insane. I miss the James you were before all of this happened. Besides, you could never pull off that depressed image anyways."

"Has she really been crying herself to sleep?" He asked, after a minute.

"Yes, she has and I'm sick of seeing her like this." I replied, with a nod. "And just think, Prongs, this is your dream come true: Lily Evans loves you!"

"Yeah, no kidding." He said, quietly. "Hey, Sunshine, can you do me a favor and get Lily to the Room of Requirements in an hour?"

"Yeah, sure, but what-" I said, but I didn't finish my sentence because he took off running up to the castle. I sighed and started after him.

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"C'mon, Lils, get dressed, I have a surprise for you." I said, walking into the dorm.

"Nothing is going to make me move from this bed ever again." She moaned. I rolled my eyes, not in the mood to deal with more depressed behavior.

"I'm serious, you'll love what I've got for you." I said, trying to pull her up. "And I don't think that you'll want to go in your pajama's. But either way you're going." I added, making it clear that I would drag her there if I had to.

"Well, fine, but it'd better be good." She said, menacingly.

I led Lily up to the seventh floor corridor and to the wall with the Room of Requirements. I paced back and forth three times, thinking of James. A door appeared and I hoped it was the right one.

"Alright, the surprise is in there." I said, opening the door and shoving Lily inside. I closed the door and walked away.

"And just where might you be going all by yourself?" A voice from the shadows said. I jumped about a mile and turned around.

"Sirius! Don't do that, you bloody bugger!" I said, my heart racing somewhere in my throat. "You scared the bloody shit out of me!"

"Aw, I'm sorry. I just wanted to find you so that we could go and have a nice conversation in a classroom or a broom closet or some other equally private place." He said, sticking his lower lip out and talking in a baby voice.

"Honestly, Padfoot, did that stupid kind of prattle work on any of your girlfriends?" I asked. "Actually, no, wait, don't answer that, I'm sure there were a few that it did work on."

"Oh, very funny." He said, sarcastically. "I know that you're falling weak to my power."

"Yes, I just can't go on. You'll have to carry me!" I exclaimed, pressing my hand to my forehead. He took this as his cue to sweep me off my feet and into his arms.

"I always knew that you were just a damsel in distress." He said, dramatically carrying me into a classroom nearby.

"Yes, and you were just waiting for yourchance to sweep in and be my knight in shining armor, right?" I said, sarcastically.

"I've rescued you more times than you can count and you know it." He said, smiling cockily. "And likewise, you have rescued me in ways that you never even knew." He added, in a softer tone.

"Like how?" I asked, looking at him.

"All of those summers that I would run away to your house. Having someplace to go to get away from my family was a blessing." He replied. "Being my friend based off who I was and not who I was related to. Being there for me, especially when my father, you know, _punished_ me. And just by being you- that's the greatest gift you've ever given me."

"Well, I was simply returning a favor, because you've been there for me during everything." I said, smiling at him. "And that means more to me than you could even know." I added. He leaned in and just as we were about to kiss, the door to the classroom banged open. Sirius still had me in his arms, but the noise had startled us, so he dropped me. We looked at the door and saw Lisa standing there.

"I hate to break up this little snog fest," She said, giving me a look of hatred, "but Sirius I need to talk to you. It's urgent."

"Okay," He said, slowly. "I'll be right back."

I stood up and dusted myself off. As much as I wanted to eavesdrop, I respected their space. I sat down on a desk and waited. It seemed like ages later when Sirius came back. He looked like someone had hit him with a freight train and then backed it up over him again.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, just stared at the ground.

"Lisa's pregnant." He said, finally and when he looked up there was a look of shock and fear in his eyes.

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dun dun dun...alrighty well, that's where we'll end for right now- hopfully I'll update sooner than I did last time. please review- it helps me write faster- or at least remind that I haven;t updated and then I feel guitly...okay yeah, definitely review:p


	18. Broken Hearts and Lies

Ch. 18- Broken Hearts and Lies

**A/N:** hey- look, it didn't even take me two weeks! I am _so_ proud of myself- I hope you guys are too! okay, so I am going to be starting the sequel here for this story pretty soon- there's only like 4 chapters left of this one! so, I just thought I'd give you guys a heads up...okay, here's the next chapter- enjoy:p

_And he said  
there goes my life  
there goes my future, my everything  
might as well kiss it all good-bye  
there goes my life_

_There Goes My Life- Kenny Chesney_

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_  
_"Excuse me?" I said, thinking I'd heard wrong. "Pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"But how?" I asked, in a sort of shocked tone. "I mean, I know how, but you know…" I trailed off.

"Well, it was a month or two ago. We had broken up like a month before that, but I decided to give her one more shot." He said, looking at the floor. "We went to the Room of Requirements- I'd had it set as a nice restaurant dinner. And well, there was some fire whiskey and we were both drunk. We started kissing and it got really heated and one thing led to another. It's all kinda a blur of drinking and kissing and taking each other's clothes off and…well, you can guess what happened after that."

"And now she's pregnant?" I asked, still not understanding that part. I was hearing what he was saying, but my mind wasn't moving fast enough to comprehend all of it at once.

"Yes, well, she said that when she m-missed last month that she didn't really think anything of it. But when she missed this month she got w-worried. She went to Madame Pomfrey for a-a pregnancy test and she t-tested p-p-positive." He stuttered. He looked close to just snapping and throwing himself out a window. "How could I have let this happen? How could I have been so stupid? Merlin! I don't even like her!" He yelled, turning and shoving everything off the nearest desk. I'd never seen Sirius like this before.

"Then why did you do it?" I asked, quietly.

"I dunno! I'd worked a system out to the point that I could imagine it was you. I couldn't deal with the fact that I'd never have you, so I made other girls you." He said, sighing. "I mean, I was drunk to the point that if you asked me, then, who I was with I would've said you. The next morning I really believed it too. I went along thinking it had been you, but then Lisa came up and started talking about it."

"So, what are you going to do?" I asked, after minute.

"Well, I just can't leave her, now can I?" He said, turning to face me. "I'll have to help her through it."

"And that means I'm out of the picture, doesn't it?" I said, sadly.

"Joie, c'mon, we can work something out-" He started, but then my temper got the better of me.

"Work something out?" I snapped, standing up. "And just what do you propose, Sirius? What, that we could just be one big happy family? I don't want to have to share you and I don't want you to turn your back on your baby. So, really, the only logical solution is that I have to give you up."

"Don't do this! If we just talk it I think we could find another way." He pleaded. "Joie, please, I don't love her- I don't even _like_ her. I want to be with you."

"Yes, well, I think we should take a break, at least until all of this mess with Lisa is taken care of." I said, in a surprisingly strong voice. "I'm not going to be the third wheel."

"But you'll wait for me?" He asked, hopefully.

"I-I can't promise that." I said, looking down.

"What do you mean?"

"Sirius, I'm not just going to sit around and wait for you to have a baby! I can't do that and you can't ask me to do that!" I said, holding back tears.

"I thought you loved me." He said, the hurt evident in his voice.

"I do. But I really can't be expected to share you with her. It just wouldn't work- somewhere along the way it would just fall apart." I replied, looking up at him. "I'm sorry." I added and then I left.

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I knew it was too good to be true- just when I thought I had him someone else had taken him away. It was the hardest thing I had to do, breaking up with him. But I wasn't going to sit there while Lisa went on about a baby and everything that needed to be done and what a happy family they would all be. I couldn't stand that, I really couldn't. And it was for the best in the end.

Lily and James were going out now. I don't quite know exactly what went on in the Room of Requirements, but it worked. The whole school was shocked when the next day it was announced that James Potter had finally gotten Lily Evans.

"You okay?" Lily asked a week or so later as we got dressed.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, nodding.

"Look, don't worry about it, it'll all work out." She said.

I wasn't so sure. Sirius and I talked, but it was more of a forced civility than anything. I missed the way we used to be, but I couldn't imagine going back to that now. It was awkward and I hated it. Lisa on the other hand was perfectly content. She was beaming as Sirius accompanied her everywhere. In fact, she didn't seem to worried about having a baby at fifteen.

"Yeah, you're right." I said, forcing a smile.

"Hey, Sunshine, you're coming to the Qudditch game, right?" James said, as soon as he saw me.

"Of course I am, Prongs, why wouldn't I?" I said, shaking my head at him. He just shrugged and draped his arm around Lily.

"Ready for that Charms exam today?" Remus asked, as we followed James and Lily out of the portrait hole.

"Moony, I was born ready." I replied, cockily and he laughed. We were passing a group of fifth years and I saw Lisa and I could here talking.

"Yeah, I'm about three and a half months along." She was saying, happily. I looked at her- perfect figure, like she had always had, perfect features, and-

"Wait a second." I muttered, turning around and walking towards her. "How far along did you say you were?"

"Three and a half, what's it to you, Emerson?" She replied, icily.

"Just wondering."

I walked off to catch up with the others. Three and a half months- why wasn't she showing? With a body as petite as hers, she should surely be gaining something.

"Hey, where did you go?" Remus asked, as fell into step with him.

"No where." I said, shrugging.

Later that day during my free period I stopped up at the Hospital Wing. I wasn't sure if Madame Pomfrey would tell me if she'd given a pregnancy test or not, but it was worth a shot.

"Yes, Miss Emerson, how can I help you?" She asked, when I knocked on her office door.

"I was wondering if you could tell me whether or not you gave a fifth year a pregnancy test." I asked, hoping that she would just answer.

"I can't release information like that to students." She said, firmly.

"But you'd have to keep something like that on file, right? I mean, it would be in the medical files." I said, an idea coming to me.

"Well, yes, it would be." She said, slowly. "Why are you so interested?"

"Just wondering."

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Later that night when everyone was at dinner, I snuck into the Hospital Wing and went to the filing room. I made sure to lock the door behind me and then I set to work. I couldn't remember Lisa's last name, but the files were sorted by house anyways, so it didn't matter. I looked through her file very carefully and found- not to my surprise- that she had never been down for a pregnancy test. I didn't know how I hadn't seen it before. The little bitch was nothing more than a pathetic liar. Well, a convincingly pathetic liar, that is.

After I was done in the Hospital Wing, I went down to the Great Hall.

"Sirius, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked, him.

"Yeah, sure." He said, standing up and following me.

"I have something to tell you and I swear to you that is the honest truth and that I didn't make it up." I said, turning to face him.

"Okay." He said, giving a look that clearly said he worried for my sanity. I took a deep breath and then-

"Lisa's lying about being pregnant."

"What?"

"She's not pregnant." I told him. "I mean, think about, she says that she's three and a half months along. Why isn't she showing? With a body like hers, she should be showing by now."

"Joie," Sirius sighed, but I continued.

"And none of the teachers are acting as if anything is wrong. You'd think that if she was pregnant the teachers would know." I said, crossing my arms. "Sirius, she's been lying the whole time."

"Oh c'mon, she wouldn't lie about that." He said, waving me off. "I mean, she's not that low."

"Wanna bet?" I retorted. "She's been furious ever since we started dating and she would've done anything to get you back."

He thought about this for a second and then he turned around and went back into the Great Hall. I didn't know if he believed me or not, so I followed him to see what he was going to do. He walked up to Lisa and bent down to talk in her ear. She grinned when she saw him, but as he talked the grin faded and a look of fear replaced it. He looked at her, shook his head in disgust, and walked away.

"Sirius, don't leave me! I love you!" She shouted after him. He had a murderous look on his face and I smirked to myself as I sat down by Lily.

"What's going on?" She asked, frowning.

"I'll tell ya later." I said, piling food on to my plate.

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Sirius and I didn't get back together right away. I'd been the one who broken it off, so it was up to me to make things right again. And although I wanted nothing more than to live happily ever after with him, I needed to make it up to him that I'd broken up with him. I just had to find him first.

"Joie, just tell him you love him and give him a nice snog." James said, one night as we- and I mean Lily and I by "we"- were discussing what to do when I found him.

"Honestly, James, that is not what she needs to do." Lily sighed, rolling her eyes. "Look, where is his favorite place?"

"I dunno, he has a lot of them." I replied, shrugging.

"Well, is there one place that might be particularly special?" She asked and I shook my head. "How about a place where you guys had you're first kiss or met or-"

"Lily that's it!" I exclaimed cutting her off and jumping up. "I know where to find him!"

I ran out of the Common Room and up to the Astronomy Tower. I was hoping he would be there. After all, that was the place that we had become friends.

But, I had no luck. He wasn't up there. I climbed up to the roof and looked up at the sky. I was sitting at the same place I'd been that night six years ago. As I gazed up at the stars I thought about how much I wanted Sirius to be there. I just wanted to tell him that I loved him and that I wanted to be with him.

"Hey, what are you doing up there?" A voice broke my thoughts and I lost my balance. Then I was falling…right into a pair of strong arms. "Whoa, déjà vu or what?" I looked up and saw Sirius standing there.

"Yeah, really." I said, with a weak laugh. My heart was beating somewhere in my throat and my stomach was somewhere near my feet. "I was looking for you."

"Were you now?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. He hadn't put me down yet.

"Yeah." I said. "Look, I'm sorry for the way I reacted. It's just that when you told me that she was pregnant I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't want to share you- especially not with that bitch- and I didn't want to let you go. And then you started talking about working it out. But I didn't want to work it out- I wanted you all to myself."

"I know and I shouldn't have asked you to do that." He said, and my eyes met his.

"I love you and I should've never broken up with you. I just didn't see how else it was going to work." I told him quietly. "I want to be with you- I don't want to have to share you or watch you with someone else."

"Joie, you're the only one for me and I swear to you that I'll never hurt you." He said, dead serious. I looked into his eyes for a few more seconds before I kissed him. He tightened his grip on me as he kissed me back. I wrapped my arms around his neck as the kiss deepened. When we finally broke for air we were both panting and flushed. I'd never felt so much from one kiss and it had my head spinning.

"Wow." I said, breathlessly. I rested my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes.

"You're telling me." He said, and I laughed.

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_alrighty, well, alls well that ends well, right? remember- reviews are always appreciated!_


	19. Life in the Real World

Ch. 19- Life in the Real World

**A/N:** okay, well, here's the next chapter...I don't think anything too terribly important or exciting happens- just some necessary filler stuff...so enjoy- I'll try to update the next chapter sooner than this one, but I just started college so I'm not sure just how busy I'll be yet. anyways, enjoy:p p.s: I own nothing of Harry Potter!

_As we go on, we remember  
All the times we had together  
And as our lives change, from whatever  
We will still be, friends forever  
Graduation- Vitamin C_

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The news of Lisa's fake pregnancy got around Hogwarts in no time and she was no longer a threat. And, as soon as the other fan club girls realized that I would stop at nothing to take them out if they tried anything, they stopped trying to break Sirius and I up. Things were really good for the rest of the year. Lily and James were sickenly cute all the time and made everyone in the room want to gag. But that was them, I guess. Sirius and I, on the other hand, kept our relationship to banter most of the time, while adding a snog or two here and there. We argued about everything, but then, we kind of always had.

"Can you believe that we only have a month left?" Lily said, one night in the dorm.

"No, it's insane. This year has gone by so fast." I replied, shaking my head. "It's going to be a bittersweet parting- I'm ready to go on with my life, but Hogwarts has been home for me for so long."

"I know what you mean." Lily said, nodding. "Although, at least you have a summer to look forward to- I have Petunia's wedding. Yippee." She added.

"Summer? Ha! What summer? The boys and I start Auror training two weeks after graduation." I scoffed, with a dry laugh.

"Yeah, well, I have to start late and catch up because of the stupid wedding. So, don't try to get me to pity you." She replied, sourly and I laughed.

"Yes, I guess you do beat me."

Final exams weren't too terribly difficult. At least, they didn't _seem_ that difficult. But it was a relief to get them over with and be done. Now all we had left was the end of term feast. It was weird- it would be the last feast I had at Hogwarts as a student. It was actually pretty depressing.

"Hey, Lily, Sunshine, Dumbledore wants to see us in his office." James said, poking his head into our dorm.

"James! How did you get up here? The stairs…" Lily spluttered as she looked at his shocked.

"Lily, you should have learned by now that nothing was going to stop them from finding out to get around that charm." I said, laughing. "What does he want?" I added, looking at James.

"I dunno, but he said to get there, like, now." He replied, shrugging and going back down the stairs. Lily and I exchanged as glance and followed James.

"I have gathered you here tonight to present an opportunity." Dumbledore said. James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Lily, and I were assembled in Dumbledore's office. "I am talking to select seventh year students from each house separately about the organization I started. It is the Order of the Phoenix. I know that some of you have heard of it- it is an organization geared towards to bringing Voldemort down. As you are all aware he has been growing increasingly stronger over the past few years and I fear that the Ministry, try as it might, will not be able to handle it alone. This organization has all sorts of people in it and therefore we have a wide variety of talents and uses.

"Now, I believe that almost all of you are going through Auror training this coming summer, right?" He asked, and we all nodded. "Good, the more aurors we have on our side the better. Voldemort will stop at nothing to take control of the wizarding world. He has made of sport of killing muggles and he has a following. They call themselves the Death Eaters. Every time they attack they leave a symbol called the dark mark- it looks like this." He continued, showing us on a piece of parchment a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth.

"I want you to join the Order and help us fight Voldemort. I believe that we may be able to bring him down. I believe that we will prevail in the end." He said, his voice passionate and a fire burning in his twinkling blue eyes. "Will you join my Order?"

"You can count me in." Sirius said, stepping forward without hesitation. I knew that he wanted nothing more than to destroy people like his family and if this was a way to do it then he would take this opportunity.

"Me too." I said, stepping forward as well. Everyone gave their consent and Dumbledore smiled.

"Thank you, you will not regret your decision." He said, dismissing us.

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"So, we're really leaving aren't we?" Sirius asked, coming up behind me later in the evening. I was outside by the lake, watching the sun set.

"Yeah, we really are. It's just going to be so weird and…hard." I said, as he sat down next to me. "I mean, this place has been home for so long and now we have to leave."

"Yeah, but we'll still have each other." He said, lacing his fingers through mine. "You know, I don't really think it's the castle that makes this place home- it's the people. Honestly, this place would be just as bad as my house was if I had never met the marauders."

"You're right." I agreed, laying my head on his shoulder. And we sat there staring at the sun set, hands linked together.

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The feast was sad and happy at the same time. It was the last time I would see a lot of these people for a few years- some of them I would be seeing regularly because of training. That evening, after the feast, we all went outside to sit under the beach tree by the lake. Even Peter was there- he'd been around a lot more lately. I had brought my camera with me and I set it up- much to James' dismay. I'd put the timer on and I hurried back to the group. Sirius grabbed me round the waist and pulled me against him just as the flash went off. I picked up the picture from where it had fallen on the ground and watched as it developed. Peter was lying on the ground, lazily picking at the grass as he looked up at the camera. Lily was in James' lap, with his arms around her and they couldn't look more in love. Remus was next, leaning against the tree, casually, smiling with a hand in his pocket. He looked as though he was happy with just the way things were and wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here. And then there was Sirius and me. His face was full of mischief and mine was full of surprise- we were both laughing, as he grabbed me and pulled me to him. We looked happy and as though we didn't have a care in the world as we straightened up and looked at the camera. We all looked so content with our lives and I don't think any of us could have guessed what was going to happen in just few short years.

"See, Prongs, you look very manly." I said, showing him the picture. He tried to hit me playfully, but I sidestepped him.

"Just because you're jealous of my good looks doesn't mean you have to mock me," He replied, sticking his tongue out at me.

"Well, I still have to pack, so I'm heading back up." Remus said, nudging Peter in a subtle way.

"Um, yeah, me too." He said, nodding and following Remus up to the castle.

"C'mon, Sunshine, Let's take a walk." Sirius said, holding out his hand to me. I took it and we walked away, starting around the lake.

"So, are we leaving James and Lily alone for any particular reason?" I asked, as soon as we were out of earshot.

"I'll give you three guesses." He said, a smirk playing on his lips.

"He isn't- he isn't _proposing_ is he?" I exclaimed incredulously.

"Yeah, he is." Sirius replied, laughing at my reaction.

"Merlin, that's great!" I said, smiling. "I'm sure she'll say yes."

"I dunno, she just might dump him and break his heart." Sirius said, in a mock serious tone.

"Yeah, and then pigs will fly." I replied, sarcastically. "Actually, that's not that strange of possibility if you think about it." I added, and he started laughing at me.

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"Joie! Look!" Lily came running up o the dorm, yelling my name. She jumped onto my bed and thrust her hand out. "James proposed!"

"I hope you said no," I said, and she hit me with a pillow. "That's great, Lils, it really is. So how'd he do it?"

"Oh, like you didn't know." She said, shaking her head.

"Well, I knew he was going to propose, but not until after we left you guys." I said. "So, how'd he do it?"

"Well, we sat there talking for a bit and he seemed really nervous about something. And then he said he needed to say something." She said, settling in. I had to admit, I was hanging on every word- pathetic, I know, but the girl had just been proposed to! "He started out by saying that he loved me and he knew that I was the only one for him. Then he reached behind his back and pulled out a lily. He said that he'd been thinking a lot about the future and that he'd come to a decision. He went down on one knee, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small box. Then he said, and I quote, 'Lily, I would rather spend eternity chasing you than live my life with somebody else. I would rather die than not be able to have you. I want to be there for the rest of your life and forever. Will you marry me?'

"Well, I was completely and utterly shocked." She continued, after taking a breath. "I mean, I wasn't expecting for him to do that. So, once I came to my senses, I looked at him and I said 'I wouldn't have it any other way.' So, now I am engaged to James Potter."

"Oh my god, Lily, this is great!" I said, excitedly.

"I know." She said, just as excitedly. "Honestly, if you told me four years ago that I would be marrying James Potter, I probably would have laughed at you - or hexed you." She added, and we both laughed.

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The train ride back was slightly depressing. Even though the group wasn't breaking up, we still felt like we were. It wasn't going to be the same. There was no more Hogwarts to look forward to every fall or midnight adventures exploring the grounds and Hogsmeade. Even James and Sirius were somber- well, they were less hyperactive than usual, anyways.

I hadn't heard from dad in a while and I wondered how things were going in Australia. I missed him terribly and wanted to see him again. After all, I hadn't seen him in over a year and a half.

"I wonder what auror training will be like." Sirius said, looking out the window.

"Well, they won't take our shit, that's for sure." James said, with a laugh.

"I've heard they make you go through all the unforgivable curses so that you can withstand them." Peter said and we all shook our heads.

'Wormtail, they wouldn't do the unforgivable curses- it's not _that_ intense." Remus said.

"Well, whatever it's like, it sure won't be any picnic." I said, with a sigh.

We reached the train station and went our separate ways. Remus was going home to see his parents before he set off for training, as was Peter. James, Sirius, and I were all off to James'. His parents were still off fighting for the Order, so it would be just us. And Lily had to go to plan for her sister's wedding.

"Alright, well, owl me and let me know what the camp is like." Lily said, hugging me. "Then I can pretend I'm there instead of with Petunia." She added, and I laughed, promising I would.

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"Hey, Padfoot! You've got a letter!" James yelled up the stairs one morning as I was walking down.

"Do you deem it _necessary_ to scream in my ear in the morning? Especially when I've only just gotten up?" I asked, grumpily.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do." James replied, in a snobby voice- only he ruined the effect by laughing.

"Who's it from?" Came Sirius' voice from the top of the stairs.

"I dunno- do you think I go and open you letters?" James said, indignantly.

"Yes, now give it here." He said snatching the envelope from James' hands. He ripped the letter open and read. As he read, his eyes became bigger and bigger.

"What?" James and I asked, simultaneously.

"My Uncle Alphard died and he's left all of his money to _me_!" He said, in a shocked sort of voice. "I mean, it's bad he's dead, of course, but now I can get a place of my own."

"Yeah, that's great." James said, and I nodded.

"And of course, Sunshine is coming with me." He went on, looking at me. "Sorry, Prongs, but I'm afraid she likes me better than you anyways."

"Yes, well, I shall find some way to go on." James said, melodramatically. I just shook my head and muttered "boys," under my breath before walking off.

Truthfully, I was thrilled that Sirius was inviting me to get a place with him. Although, I probably should've expected it- seeing as he is my boyfriend and all. But still. It was about time that I stopped mooching off of the Potters, even if they insisted that it was no trouble at all.

Lily was suffering at her house with all the wedding planning, as she informed in one letter. Petunia was taking advantage of the fact that it was all about her and it was driving Lily up a wall. I'd met Petunia once and she was quite unpleasant. I didn't blame Lily for wanting to kill her.

The boys and I had started Auror training and it was interesting to say the least. We had class in the morning and practical lessons in the afternoons. I was better at the dueling than anything else, but I think that may have been because my mom and dad had started teaching me how to duel at a young age. During the summer holidays they would give me lessons a few times a week. They thought it was important to know how to protect myself, if the need should ever arise.

"So, what are we doing tonight?" James asked as we packed up to go home. It was the end of the second week and the training was still pretty tiring.

"I have to go to my mum's." Peter said, shrugging.

"I just want to go to sleep." Sirius said, yawning, which caused everyone else to yawn.

"Yeah, collapsing on the couch- or anywhere, for that matter- sounds appealing right now." I agreed, swinging my bag onto my shoulders.

"How about you, Moony?" James said, turning to Remus.

"Not tonight, Prongs, I'm with Padfoot and Sunshine." He replied, shaking his head. "Sleep would do me some good."

Sirius and I had gotten a flat in London that was fairly close to the training clinic. Most nights Remus just stayed over with us because we usually didn't get done until at least ten. Peter usually had to go and look after his mum. James would apparate home only because there was no one else to watch the house. It was nice having a place to call home that wasn't a friend's. Not that the Potters' had been like that- it was just different. I think James was lonely. It had to be hard, what with his fiancée at her parents and his best friends living somewhere else. He had almost always had somebody staying with him at his house and I think he was really just going through withdrawal.

"James, do want to come stay over at our place tonight?" I asked, after a second. "I mean, I'm sure the house elves can take of the house for one night."

"You're sure?" He asked, trying to sound cool and nonchalant.

"Of course, don't be silly. You're starting to sound like Sirius did when you offered him a place at your house. We're just repaying the favor." I replied, firmly. He smiled and slung an arm around my neck.

"Well, if you insist, Sunshine."

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Lily joined us about a month after we had started and had no trouble catching up. Time seemed to fly by as the training became more and more intense. Pretty soon almost six months had passed and Christmas was upon us. My dad and James' parents had come back on a leave for a few months in the middle of December. My dad was staying with Sirius and me, which meant we had to behave.

"Hey, Dad!" I exclaimed opening the door and jumping on him in a bear hug.

"Hey, kiddo, how you doing?" He asked, hugging me back.

"I'm good. What about you? Merlin, it's been _so _long since I've seen you!" I said, grabbing one of his bags and closing the door behind him.

"I'm not half bad. This mission's been tiring, but Australia is absolutely _gorgeous_." He said, taking his coat off. "But I'm glad to be back, if only for a short time. I like your place."

"Thanks. It's nice, just the right size." I replied, nodding. I lead him through to the guestroom and I put his bag on the bed.

"Hey, Mr. Emerson, how's it going?" Sirius said, looking into the room.

"I'm just fine, Sirius, and how are you?" Dad said, shaking Sirius' hand.

"Just peachy. I bet you're glad to be back, huh?"

"Yes, I am. It's been much too long, but these missions are quite important and, well, they take quite a bit of time." Dad said, nodding.

Sirius and I didn't tell Dad that we were "together". We were wating for the right time to bring it up. I wasn't exactly sure of how dad was going to take it. I thought he would prefer Sirius to most other guys, but there was still that one chance that he would freak out. Ironically, he was the one to bring it up.

"So, what's the deal with you and Sirius?" He asked, one night when it was just he and I. Sirius had to go pick some papers up for training that he forgot at the clinic. "Are you guys together yet?"

"And just what is that suppose to mean?" I asked, indignantly.

"Well, it's obvious that you guys like each other- and have for quite some time, now- and I think that you guys need to hurry up and get together." He said, and I stared at him in disbelief. "If you aren't already."

"I can't believe that my own father just said that." I said, and he laughed. "I mean, I guess everyone but us really did know then."

"Yes, well, I've suspected it for years- I just thought it would be natural for you develop some sort school girl crush on one of them." He said, pouring himself a drink. "But the summer you visited me with him and I found him with his arms wrapped around you- well, I guess that's when it became obvious to me. Then I started to notice little things- like the way you always messed around with each other, the way he looked at you…I don't know, it just seemed like the more I thought about it the more sense it made."

"You know, that's what Lily said," I said, more to myself than to him.

"So, is he the one?" Dad asked, after a minute. I'd always imagined this conversation with him- I thought it would be really awkward to talk to him about something like this. But strangely it wasn't.

"I think so." I replied, nodding. "I _hope_ so." I added, looking out the window.

"You really fell hard for him, didn't you?" Dad said, shaking his head.

"That obvious?" I asked, with a laugh. "Well, we're just seeing where it's going right now, what with training and all."

"Yeah, but you know, _I_ wouldn't mind him being my son-in-law." Dad said, giving me a sly smile. "I mean, I know him, I can trust him, and I know he won't hurt you. And he knows that I'll kill him if he does."

"This conversation is officially done." I said, standing up and walking away, shaking my head.

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okay, well, that's it for now...reveiws are an author's best friend:p


	20. Wedding Bells and Other Celebrations

Ch. 20- Wedding Bells and Other Celebrations

_Because we're going to the chapel _

_And we're, gonna get married.  
Goin' to the chapel _

_And we're, gonna get married.  
Gee, I really love you _

_And we're, gonna get married.  
Goin' to the chapel of love.  
Going to the Chapel- The Crystals_

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Things were going well. Christmas came and went and so did dad. He had to go back on his mission, but he promised he'd check in as soon as he could.

Training went on and soon four more months had passed. It had been almost a year since we had started, but it didn't seem that way.

"Okay, so I know I said I was going to save the rest of the money that my Uncle Alphard left me, but I just couldn't resist," Sirius said one night as he walked in the door. It was just me and I'd been reading.

"Resist what?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"C'mon, you gotta see it!" He said, excitedly, grabbing my hand and pulling me after him.

"Sirius, what did you-" I stopped in mid sentence because outside was the most gorgeous motorcycle I'd ever seen. It was a huge black bike, sleek as anything. "Where did you get this?"

"Found it in Diagon Alley when I was there today. This guy was selling it for a pretty decent price and I just couldn't resist." He said, proudly. "Sunshine, it _flies_!"

"You're joking."

"No! I'm totally serious. It's amazing!" He exclaimed. "You want to try it out?" He added after a second.

"Sirius are you completely insane?" I burst out and he took a step back. "You buy a flying motorcycle and you think I _won't_ want to try it out?" I added, walking over to the bike and climbing up on it. "Just so long as I can drive."

"Now we're talking!" He said, a grin breaking out across his face as he climbed on behind me.

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Lily and James had set the wedding for a month after training ended. Of course, their parents were planning most of it, but it was just easier to have it after than try to fit it in the already strict schedule. So, it was that late that summer when they were married.

"Joie, pinch me, is it really my wedding day?" Lily asked that morning.

"Yeah, it really is." I replied, nodding. "Relax, I mean, if there was any guy in the world least likely of bailing on you at your wedding it would be James." I added, and she laughed.

"You're right."

We spent the whole morning preparing everything for the day. I had to go pick up the dress and make sure the flower people weren't going to mess up. The thing was, Lily and James agreed to have half the wedding done by magic and half the muggle way. I personally thought that they were just making it harder on themselves, but whatever, it was their wedding.

"Hey, Sunshine," I heard a low voice whisper from somewhere to my right. I looked around and saw Sirius standing in the shadows. "How's the bride holding up?"

"Fairly well, considering." I replied, walking over to stand next to him. "I mean, she keeps fretting over everything, but at least she isn't second guessing herself on her decision."

"Well, good, because James is a train wreck." Sirius said, shaking his head. "Every five minutes he goes into this big rant about how he's too young and what if Lily doesn't want him. I can't talk sense into him."

"Well, just as long as he's standing at the end of the aisle when Lily comes out." I said, laughing.

When the time came even I was starting to get butterflies in my stomach. But I somehow thought it was more because of how _gorgeous_ Lily looked than the actual fact of her getting married. She had a long, sweeping, off the shoulders white dress and a long veil to match. She had done her hair up in a French twist, with two curls framing her face and a lily stuck in one side. And, of course, she was glowing. As she turned around to face me, I was speechless at how good she looked. I could only imagine what James' reaction would be like.

"Do I look okay?" She asked, smiling nervously.

"Okay? Lily, you look _amazing_!" I exclaimed, giving her a hug.

The bridesmaid's dresses that she had picked out where beautiful, as well. They were a light periwinkle blue, spaghetti strap, and they were simple. Which was what the main appeal to me was. There were two other bridesmaids besides me, but I was the maid-of-honor. Sirius was James' best man, which given that they were practically each other's twin didn't surprise anyone.

"Nervous?" Sirius asked me, as we lined up.

"Not at all- I mean, it's just our best friend's wedding and things are going to be somewhat different after this." I said, shrugging. "Not nervous at all." I added, shaking my head.

"Then relax." He whispered, as the music started up. "Everything's going to be fine."

We walked down the aisle, behind Remus and Peter and the other two bridesmaids. I guess I was kind of nervous. But it was an excited nervous. As Sirius and I reached the end of the aisle, I looked up and saw James. He was standing there, looking calm, but I knew he was train wreck on the inside. I gave him a reassuring smile, one that he returned.

The music stopped for a moment and then started up again. Everyone stood and faced the back. Lily and Mr. Evans appeared and started making their way down the aisle. I glanced at James and he was staring at Lily. Lily had this big, goofy sort of smile on her face. When Mr. Evans handed her off to James, they couldn't have looked happier. It was perfect.

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After the wedding and the reception James and Lily headed off to Italy for their honeymoon. Sirius and I said our good-byes to everyone and headed home ourselves. Seeing Lily and James getting married had got me thinking. Sirius and I had been dating for about two years. Could I spend the rest of my life with Sirius? Could I honestly be happy with him? Could I grow old with him? Yes, I really could.

When we got home, Sirius went into the bedroom and started changing. I walked into the bedroom and turned him around. He looked at me confused for a second, but I barely noticed as I placed a kiss on his lips. Although we had never talked about it, the subject of sex kind of hung around us. Sirius had never said or even tried to imply anything about it. He had never tried to pressure me into it- he was waiting until I was ready and now I was.

I pulled him towards me as I walked backwards to the bed. I was undoing his shirt as he was taking off my dress. As soon as we both totally undressed, I pulled him back to me and tumbled onto the bed. He broke apart from me.

"Are you sure you're ready?" He asked, his voice breathless. I just looked at him for a minute before I nodded.

"I'm sure."

Sirius was completely different from the way Jon had been. He was gentle, as though he were afraid that he might break me. He was wonderful and amazing and I just couldn't find the right words to describe what I felt. We were both breathless, but satisfied by the time we were done.

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Lily and James came back a week and a half later. They started looking for a house to move into and found the perfect one in Godric's hollow. It was a small two story with a wrap around porch and nice little yard and in a quiet little neighborhood of witches and wizards.

"Hey guys," Remus said, walking in. "Busy day yet?"

"Nah, it's been pretty quiet." I replied, looking up from the reports I was filling out. It had been about two months since Lily and James had came back and we were all working.

"Hey, Moony, where ya been?" Sirius asked, walking down by our cubicles.

"Oh, just here and there. I just finished filing this report. I had to go check out some activity up north. Turns out it was just a couple of kids messing around with daddy's things." He replied, looking up at Sirius. "So now daddy's getting arrested and there's an investigation that's going to start."

"Wow, that's kinda funny." I said, with a laugh, shaking my head.

"Yeah," Sirius said, his voice flat. I looked between him and Remus. They seemed to be sizing each other up, but I had no idea why.

"Hey, we got something brewing up in northern France." James said, poking his head in. "Let's go."

We all got up and followed James. When we got to the place, we found ourselves in a small village. The Dark Mark was floating above it. Sirius and I exchanged a glance and we all plowed on. Wands at the ready, we searched the village for any sign of life. There was nothing. I thought that was strange. Sure, it was small, but there should have at least been bodies. Just as I thought this, I turned the corner and the sight I saw made my stomach churn. There, in a ditch, were the bodies of the villagers. Some of them were burnt, some had body parts missing and some just a blank expression on their faces.

"You guys, something doesn't feel right," I heard James say. "It's way too quiet. Where is everybody?"

"Right here," I said, my voice cracking. I heard the guys come up behind me and then stop. "We're too late."

"Those sick bastards." Sirius said, quietly.

I don't know how long we stood there, but it felt like an eternity. James went to go get help, while Remus stayed with the bodies. Sirius and I headed back to the ministry to file the reports.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, as we worked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, not looking up.

"You sure?" He pressed on, his voice concerned. "I mean, that was pretty overwhelming." He added.

He was right. I mean, we'd been doing this for a few months, but I'd never come across so many dead bodies. Somehow that had made the siruation so much more real. This wasn't just some crazy wizard who'd gone out and killed a few people. He was a dangerous lunatic. It blew my mind that someone could do that. I couldn't get the image out of my mind. All of those people- they had families. There could have been someone that wasn't there who was going to come back and find everyone gone.

"Joie?" I heard Sirius say. I looked up at him.

"What kind of person could do that?" I asked, my voice wavering. "How could someone just kill that many people so thoughtlessly?"

"I don't know." He said, shaking his head. "I just don't know."

When we finished, Sirius said he needed to check something out and then we headed home. We sat on the couch, not saying anything, for a long time. It was killing me. This silence, but I didn't know what to say. When Sirius finally did start talking, though, I wished that I could have the silence back.

"Hey, uh, Sunshine, I think we need to talk about Moony." He said, somewhat hesitant.

"What about him?" I asked, turning my head to look at him.

"I think he might a spy," He said, and I just looked at him. "A spy for Voldemort."

"Remus? A _spy_ for _Voldemort_?" I said, incredulously. "Sirius, are you completely nuts?"

"No, I'm not." He said, sounding offended. "Look, there are things that are really suspicious about him lately."

"Like what?" I asked, skeptically.

"Like the fact that he's always late for work. And it's always big amounts of time." Sirius started. "And the excuses he comes up with aren't even valid. Take, for example, the story he gave us today. I checked it out and there definitely isn't anything going on- no investigation, no case, no nothing. There should've been some sort of record- he said he filed it."

"Sirius, maybe it's a cover story." I said, shaking my head. "I mean, he could be on some undercover case."

"I dunno. But lately I think it's something more than that." He said, with a shrug.

I didn't reply. Remus a spy? That was positively absurd. I mean, Remus was one of the nicest and loyal people I'd ever met. I didn't think he would betray us. I didn't think he would turn spy, especially not for Voldemort. But then again, anything's possible I guess.

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"Hey, you guys, I have an announcement to make." Lily said. We were all just hanging out at James and Lily's place. "I'm, well, I'm pregnant!" She said, quickly.

"Pregnant?" Sirius said, eyes getting wide. She nodded excitedly.

"Oh my god, Lils! That's amazing!" I exclaimed, jumping up and hugging her.

"Wait, you're-I'm…I'm going to be a father?' James asked, a sort of shocked amazement in his voice.

"Yes, James, we're going to have a baby!" Lily said, beaming at her husband. She turned back to me, but before anything else happened we heard a _thunk_. We turned back around and found James on the floor.

"Oh Merlin! He fainted!" Sirius said, laughing.

"Sirius, it's not funny!" I said, smacking him over the head.

"Ouch! That hurt!" He said, rubbing his head, but I wasn't really paying attention to him.

"James, honey, c'mon, wake up." Lily said, tapping him lightly on the face. He started stirring after a couple of minutes.

"Ah," He said, sitting up slowly. "What happened? The last thing I remember is Lily saying she's pregnant, but I must've heard wrong."

"No, James, you didn't hear wrong. I _am_ pregnant." She said, softly. "We're going to have a baby."

"But, what if I'm not ready?" He said, looking away from her. "What if I make a horrible father and screw up our kid's life?"

"You won't." Lily said, turning his face towards her.

"How do you know?"

"James, you're going to make a great father. You know why?" She said and he shook his head. "Because you'll love them too much to mess up."

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**A/N:** okay, so I am going to try the whole author's note at the end thing because I think people just skip over it when it's at the beginning. First off, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry that I didn't update sooner...I honestly meant to and I know that authors say that and what not, but I am truly sorry for making you guys wait. But I have been juggling college and work and other stuff lately so it's been kinda hectic. Anyways, only TWO more chapters left! And I'm working on the sequel, but I'm kinda at a road block for the beginning. So we'll have to see how long it takes for me to think it's decent enough. I'm also starting a new fic, which I am really really excited for, I had the idea for an orignal fic, but it works for a fanfic as well. So there's a couple of things that are coming up. anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, not the best, but necessary. I think the last two chapters will be better- they should have quite a bit going on, so yeah. and I will try to update sooner. okay, well, that's enough of me rambling about why I'm such a bad updater and so on.

remember, reviews make the updates faster- most of the time hehe. :p


	21. Darker Times and Precious Life

Ch. 21- Darker Times and Precious life

**A/N:** hey there guys! I'm updating in less than a month, aren't you proud of me? anyways, only ONE more chapter! yeah! and I'm working on the sequel, so we'll see how long that takes me- hopefully not too long...anways, enjoy the next chapter:p

_And in the streets: the children screamed,  
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.  
But not a word was spoken;  
The church bells all were broken.  
And the three men I admire most:  
The father, son, and the holy ghost,  
They caught the last train for the coast  
The day the music died._

_American Pie- Don McLean_

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As the months passed, Lily got bigger and bigger. James had gotten over the initial shock of the news and was now in full servant mode. He got Lily whatever she needed, was always hovering over her, and would chide the rest of us if he thought we might be disturbing her in any way.

"Joie, are you there?" I heard a voice from the fireplace ask. I turned and saw Lily.

"Hey, how's it going?" I asked, smiling.

"I'm going to go insane if I don't get out of here soon!" She exclaimed, her voice rising barely above a whisper. "I love James, I do, and I know he's just trying to help, but if I don't do something for myself soon I think I might have a breakdown. Can I come over to your place for a while?"

"Of course you can." I said, laughing at her predicament. "You know you're always welcome here. Do you want me to fly over?"

"No, I can floo- the doctor said it was okay, but James won't have any of it." She said, rolling her eyes. "He's afraid to even let me sleep peacefully. Look, I'll be there in just a minute- if James finds out he's going to lock me up, so I want to do this as quickly as possible."

Her head disappeared and after a minute her figure appeared in the fireplace, spinning. She stepped out of the grate, brushing herself off and smoothing back her hair.

"Well, sounds like Prongsie is taking this whole fatherhood thing seriously." I said, smirking.

"Yes and it's going to be the death of me!" She said, rolling her eyes. "Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen him take anything seriously except for his pranks."

"Aw, Lily, he's just looking out for you." I said, in high-pitched sweet voice. She shot me a look.

"So, can I do anything around here? Clean, cook, take out the trash?" She said, clapping her hands together and looking around. "Anything that will make me feel like a human being again?"

"I think we can find something," I said, laughing.

We spent the day making cookies and talking. The topics ranged from memories at school to the future and what it would hold. We both knew, of course, that the times were changing and it was getting more and more dangerous to trust even the closest people to you. I thought about the conversation Sirius and I had about Remus and him being a spy. I suppose it was entirely possible, but it just didn't seem like it could be true. I honestly couldn't picture Remus as a death eater.

"Well, how are things going with you and Sirius?" She asked, changing the subject to a lighter matter.

"Things are good- he's actually cooking dinner for me tonight. I'm not sure how I feel about that exactly." I said, and Lily laughed.

"Well, I'm sure it won't be too disastrous. Who knows, maybe he'll turn out to be a good cook." Lily said, with a shrug.

"Yeah, maybe." I replied, still not totally convinced.

Later on, after Lily had left, Sirius came home and promptly told me "get the bloody hell out" until seven- and he meant that in the nicest way possible, of course. He said that he needed to get everything ready and that he wanted it to be a surprise. So, I left and went to Diagon Alley.

As I was wandering around browsing through some of the shops, I saw Remus. He was at Florean Fortescue's with what looked a bunch of paperwork in front of him. He looked a little worse for the wear- he hadn't shaved in what looked like a week and was in bad need of a hair cut. But he also had scratches up and down his arms and seemed a somewhat frazzled as he scribbled furiously across a page of parchment.

"Hey, Moony," I said, gently touching his shoulder. He jumped about a mile, which caused me to jump back.

"Sunshine! I'm sorry, you just scared the bloody hell out of me." He said, closing his eyes and slowing down his breathing. "How are you? I haven't seen you in ages."

"I'm good." I said, with a nod, sitting down opposite him. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm great. Doing really great," He said, distractedly. I studied him for a second and realized that this wasn't the Remus I'd known my whole life. This was someone else living in his body.

"Remus," I said, taking one of his hands in mine, causing him to stop writing. "What's really going on with you? I haven't seen you in such a long time and we work together at the ministry. I mean, where have you been? And what happened to you- you look like you been in too many fights to count."

"I've just been around, picking up some cases from the office. I've just been doing a lot of field work lately." He replied, casually. "And you know how some of those wizards can be- they never come quietly."

I looked at him and I knew he wasn't telling me the truth- or at least the whole truth. I hated to think that he was lying because that was something I never thought I'd have to worry about from Remus. It also meant that what Sirius had said might be true and I didn't know if I could take it if Remus was a death eater.

"Well, you should drop by sometime soon. I've really missed you." I said, smiling at him.

"Yeah, I've missed you too." He said, smiling back- but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'll see you around, Sunshine."

"Alright, bye."

I wandered through the shops a while more and then I headed home. Sirius had said that dinner was at seven-thirty, but that I could come back at seven to get ready. So, I headed back.

I didn't know if this was suppose to be a formal outfit thing or just casual, so I settled for somewhere in between. I out on a pair denim Capri's and matched it with a simple, yet nice black tank top. I slipped on a pair of black flip-flops and left my hair down. I didn't put on any make-up since I thought I looked better without it. I gave myself a once over in the mirror, satisfied with my reflection.

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I walked out into the dinning room area at seven-thirty five, impressed with what Sirius had done. He had turned all the lights off, opting for floating candles instead. He had little red ones all over the place, which bathed the flat in a red-ish glow. The table was set for two and the whole place smelled amazing.

"My lady, this way, if you please," Sirius said, coming out from behind me. He had on jeans and white button down shirt. I took his hand and allowed him to lead me to my place. "Alright, now prepare to be blown away by the sheer fabulousness of this meal."

"Fabulousness?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Is that even a word?"

"Probably not, but then I never was a real stickler for grammar." He replied, nonchalantly and I laughed.

"Alright, well, I'm ready to be amazed." I said, shaking my head at him.

"Good."

The food was pretty amazing- especially for Sirius. And I knew for a fact that he couldn't cook to save his life. He'd tried a few times at James' and it had always ended in disaster. But tonight nothing was burned and the flat was still standing. He had made pasta with marinara sauce, salad covered in a zesty Italian dressing, and garlic bread. And for dessert he had little cream puffs prepared. As far as music and entertainment, he had some wizarding band on that I'd heard of playing and there were roses that kept changing colors in a vase in the middle of table.

"So, impressed?" He asked, shooting me a sideways glance.

"Very," I said, nodding. I didn't know if I was imagining things, but Sirius seemed very fidgety and nervous.

"So, I have something to tell you- well, ask you really," He said, twisting his hands around each other.

"Okay," I said, a little confused. Sirius stood up, so I did too, and he came over to me.

"Well, we've been dating for quite a while now and I've been thinking about where we're going in the future and all of that," He started, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "And well, I guess I can only see us going in one direction from here."

"Where is that?" I said, still confused and a little anxious at where this might be going.

"Sunshine, I'd be lying if I said I think we have the perfect relationship. We don't always agree on everything and we definitely have our share of fights, but every relationship does." He said, biting his lip, a habit he only did when he was really nervous- which wasn't that often. "You keep me guessing and I know I'm never just going to get anything with you. I have to work at it. You don't take my shit and you're always there for me. I guess I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for you.

"So what I'm trying to say is that…well, I was thinking and I came to the conclusion…um, wow, I didn't think that it would be this hard…" He stuttered, fumbling with something in his pocket. "What I am trying to say is," He went on, going down on one knee, "will you marry me?"

I stood there in front of him, looking at the ring in his hand. Sirius was looking up at me, still biting his lip. I couldn't speak for a moment from the shock of it all. I guess logically it made sense and I should've known he was going to propose, but it still caught me off guard.

"Yes- of course I will." I said, finally. A huge smile broke out over Sirius' face and he jumped up, grabbed me around the waist and spun me around. I was laughing and I wished that this moment would never end.

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Summer was upon us, as was Lily's due date. James was still at her beck and call and she was still trying to escape. But I knew she didn't really mind- after all, he was showing some kind of responsibility and that was a miracle considering it _was_ James. Besides, they had made an agreement. Lily wanted some sort of sanity, so James had to let her do some stuff or else she said she'd curse him to oblivion.

"Okay, so what names do you have picked out for the baby?" I asked a couple of weeks later as we sat outside on the porch in the late July sun. It was the first time I'd seen Lily in quite a while.

"Well, I like Samantha or Adrian if it's a girl," Lily said, taking a sip of her lemonade. "And Benjamin or Adam if it's a boy. James wants Carina or Emily for a girl and Patrick or William for a boy."

"Those are good names- I like them." I said, nodding.

"Well, what about you and Sirius? Have you guys set a date yet?" She asked.

"No, not yet. We've both been so busy at the Ministry and we still have to tell my dad. We haven't been able to get a hold of him yet." I replied, shaking my head.

"Well, I am going to help you plan this because I barely got to do any of my own." She said, in a business like voice and I laughed. "Oh, Joie! I am _so_ happy for you!" She exclaimed.

"I know! I still can't believe I didn't see it coming." I said, shaking my head.

"Well, I'm just glad that he finally did it." She said, matter-of-factly and I looked at her confused. "Oh, he's been planning this for quite a while. That ring has to have been burning a hole in his pocket for at _least_ three months."

"What?"

"Don't sound so surprised. He has been trying to think up the perfect way to propose to you- _and_ he even owled your dad for permission. Why he did that, I don't know. I mean, your dad practically told you that he wanted you to marry him. But I guess it's the thought that counts right?" She said, rubbing her hand over her belly. "He was over here quite often talking it over with James. I remember the day he bought the ring."

"You mean to tell me that Mr. I-don't-get-nervous-or-scared-about-anything was fretting over how he was going to propose to me?" I asked, and she nodded. "And you knew? And you did tell me?" I added, trying to sound offended.

"I didn't want to ruin it. He all but made me write it in blood that I wouldn't go and tell." She said, with a laugh. I laughed too. "No, he came over and he and James were in the kitchen talking. I was in there making cookies and half listening to what they were saying. And then all of a sudden I hear James go 'whoa, mate, are serious?' Which, you know, is never a good thing for either of them to be saying to each other."

"Of course not," I agreed, with a nod of my head.

"So, I looked over and Sirius had a ring opened out on the table. And he said 'I just picked it up today, but I'm not sure when I'm going to do it.' Well, of course, I chimed in and told to stop being thick and just do it- that you would say yes for sure. But he wasn't so sure." She said, looking out across the street at some kids playing in the yard. "He was always second guessing himself and always so sure that you would say no. He thought, for some reason, that you were going to tell him that he wasn't the one and that you were going to go run off with blonde hair hippie type."

"That's absolutely bonkers! Why would I do that?" I said, laughing at the very idea.

"I don't know, but that's what he thought. You know, he really loves you." She said, looking at me over her sunglasses.

"I know. And I'm never going to let go of that. I honestly don't know how I would be able to live without him." I said, with a small smile.

"Yeah, I know what you-" She stopped mid sentence and leaned forward. Then she stood up.

"Lily, are you okay?" I asked, standing up as well.

"Joie, my water just broke. This is it- my baby's coming." She said, looking up at me and I looked down. Sure enough, there was a small puddle of water there.

"Okay, okay, let me get James- stay right here, I'll be right back." I said, and then dashed inside to find James.

"Hey, Sunshine, what's the rush?" He asked, as I skidded into the kitchen. I'd already run around the entire house only to find him here.

"Lily- the baby- coming- now-" I gasped, and he looked at confused. "We have to go! Now! Lily's having the baby!" I repeated in on breath.

"Merlin, are you serious?" He asked, and I smacked him.

"Prongs, get going or she's going to have the bloody baby on you front porch!" I shouted and he jumped up and made for the front door. I was hot on his heels.

By the time Sirius met us at St. Mungo's Lily had already been in the delivery room for well over an hour. James was in there with her- no doubt being screeched at, from what I could hear in the waiting room.

"Hey, she still in labor?" Sirius asked, coming up behind me.

"Yeah, and from the looks of it she might be for a while." I replied, as he sat down next to me. "James should be due to come back out with a status report any second now."

Sure enough about a minute later out came James, only to tell us that Lily was still in labor. The contractions were closer together, but the healer said that the baby wasn't quite ready to come out yet. Just after he went back in, Remus and Peter came rushing in.

"Hey, she hasn't had the baby yet has she?" Remus asked, breathless.

"No, she hasn't- what you'd do, Moony, run all the way here?" Sirius asked, shaking his head. I was glad to see that at least for now they were being civil with one another.

"Well, just about. Couldn't very well apparate in middle of a bunch of muggles, now could I?" He replied, with a grin.

We sat there for another eight hours, waiting for the baby to come out. And then finally, just before eleven, James came out with this goofy grin on his face.

"It's a _boy_!" He exclaimed, happily. "I have a son!"

"Oh Merlin, a little Prongsie?" I said, shaking my head, but ruining the effect by smiling broadly. "What is the world going to do?"

"Oh stuff it, Sunshine." James said, throwing me a dirty look. "Do guys want to see him?"

"No, Prongs, we just waited here for nine hours to hear that your baby is in the world. We don't want to see him at all." Sirius said, dryly, rolling his eyes. But he was smiling too.

We followed James down the hall and up a flight of stairs. We turned down a brightly colored corridor and stopped in front of a blue door.

"Hey, sweetheart, they're here." James said softly as we filed in after him.

"Oh great." Lily said, looking up from the bundle in her arms. Even after nine hours of labor she looked radiant. "Alright who's first?"

"Me!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping forward. He took the little bundle gently from Lily and cradled it against his chest protectively. "What's his name?"

"Harry James Potter." James said, proudly.

"Merlin, he looks just like you already, James." Sirius said, looking up from Harry to his father. "Except for his eyes- he's got your eyes, Lily."

"Alright, Sirius, don't hog him, the rest of us would like a turn." I said, stepping forward and taking the baby from him. "Aw, aren't you just the cutest thing ever!" I cooed at the little bundle. Underneath a tuft of jet-black hair was an adorable face and pair of bright green eyes.

"He's going to be a trouble maker alright," Remus said, with a laugh. "Especially with a father like you."

"Hey! I resent that!" James said, indignantly.

"Well, it's true." I agreed, smirking at him.

"Then I guess it's a good thing you and your fiancé will be baby sitting, now isn't it?" Lily said, smiling at James.

"And why the bloody hell would think we would baby sit for you?" Sirius said, in a playful tone as I passed Harry to Remus.

"Well, you are going to be his godparents and all, so it just makes sense, doesn't it?" James said.

"Wait- did you say godparents?" Sirius asked, looking from James to Lily.

"That is, of course, if you wouldn't mind," Lily said, smiling at us.

"Of course we'll be his godparents!" I said, taken slightly aback. "We would be honored."

"Yeah, anything for you two." Sirius added, nodding.

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Two days after Lily had Harry, James should up at our flat in a frantic panic. I heard a loud crack followed by his voice calling out for Sirius and me.

"James, what's wrong?" I asked, coming out of the bedroom.

"Oh thank Merlin you're here!" He said, grabbing me by the shoulders. "Sunshine, we're in danger- Lily, Harry, and me."

"What kind of danger?" I asked, immediately alarmed.

"Voldemort is after us- Dumbledore thinks there might be a leak on our side." He replied, biting his lip. "Where's Sirius?"

"At the Ministry, finishing up some paper work." I said, and he turned looking around- for what I don't know. "Look, I can go fetch him and meet you back here."

"No, no, you could already be in danger by me even coming here. Go get him and meet at Hogwarts in Dumbledore's office." He said, shaking his head.

"Alright." I said, and he disapparated.

I wondered how we were going to deal with this. I hated to think that James and Lily were in grave danger and that there wasn't anything we could do about it- I didn't know if I could handle that. I also didn't know what I would do if I found out who the leak on our side was.

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_dun dun dun...what's going to happen? well, I guess we all already know what happens, but still...haha, okay, well, please review!_


	22. The Beginning of the End

Ch. 22- The Beginning of the End

_Take this razor and cut your palms_

_I'll do the same until a river of crimson begins to flow_

_Now drip your ruby red over the casket_

_A funeral for my once loved youth_

_My secret is fatally gorgeous_

_I'd die for you_

_But in this Bonnie and Clyde kind of romance_

_Tell me, what can you do?_

_But when your precious life is at stake_

_Tell me would you die for me too?_

_Black Dresses- The Spill Canvas_

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"What's going on?" Sirius asked, as he and I climbed out of the grate to Dumbledore's office.

"Mr. Black, we have a situation upon us, it seems." Dumbledore said, standing up to greet us. "Voldemort is indeed after the Potters. There is a prophecy that I heard pertaining to them."

"What prophecy?" I asked, looking from Dumbledore to James and Lily.

"Well," He said, with a little hesitation, "there is a child that can stop Voldemort. He has power that can vanquish him. There are two babies that fit the description of this child- the Potter's and the Longbottom's. I had a tip off from one of our spies that Voldemort is coming after the Potters. So, we have to hide them, naturally."

"But how are we going to do that? I mean, Voldemort isn't exactly the easiest wizard to hide from." Sirius said, raising an eyebrow.

"By using the Fidelius Charm, Mr. Black. Mr. Potter you will need a secret keeper- this will be the person that holds the key to finding you. I would be honored to do it for you, if you wish." Dumbledore said, looking over his half- moon glasses at James.

"With all due respect, sir, I think Sirius would be just as good a choice as you." James replied, not wavering from Dumbledore's gaze. "He would rather die than betray us to Voldemort and I trust him with my life."

"As do I," Lily said, coming to stand next to her husband. I looked at Sirius and he had a sort of shocked and proud look on his face.

"Well, if you're sure, then there's nothing else I can do but perform the charm." He said, but there something in his voice that made it seemed like he didn't trust Sirius. "Nobody will be able to find you after the charm is cast except for those Mr. Black tells. So, Mr. Black, be wise with who you choose to tell."

"Of course, professor." Sirius said, with a nod of his head.

"To perform this charm you have to be at the place you wish to be hidden in and then say the incantation. The secret keeper will hold the information deep within himself and nobody can find the place unless he tells them personally or if he writes the location down on a piece of paper." He explained, handing a slip of paper with charm on it.

"Thank you professor," James said with a nod of respect to the old man. "This means the world to us."

"Of course, my dear boy, of course."

We left Hogwarts and went back to Lily and James'. As we sat talking about the prophecy and what this meant, it hit me that this war was becoming more personal with each passing day. In the beginning we had just been fighting for a cause, for the good of all wizards. Now we were fighting for our best friends and our families and the sake our children. The stakes were so much higher now than they were and the risks so much greater. The worst part was that it was toss up on which battles which side would win.

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Time passed by and slowly, but surely, we all got used to the new arrangement. Lily and James couldn't come to work anymore, but that wasn't a problem as James' parents had left him their entire fortune in their wills. They, sadly, had been killed fighting against Voldemort the previous year. Sirius hadn't given me the means to access the Potter's house- he hadn't told anyone. Even though I knew he trusted me, he just didn't want to take any chances and I understood. Especially if it meant that James and Lily were that much safer.

Pretty soon almost a year and a half had gone by and it was nearing Halloween. Sirius checked up on James and Lily once every few days, but other than that we kept to ourselves. There were killings almost every day anymore and you didn't know who you could trust. Sirius and I kept tabs on where the other one was for two reasons- if something happened then we knew where they were last and that way we could make sure we weren't double crossing each other. Which we never suspected each other of, but it was still something we deemed necessary for our safety.

"Hey, Sunshine, I'm running over to check on James and Lily, I'll be back in a bit." Sirius called, as he opened the door.

"Alright, bye," I called back.

"Bye."

It was the morning of Halloween and I was decorating the flat to distract from the bad news that seemed to be the only thing the Prophet ran articles about anymore. I had little jack-o-lanterns all over the place and orange and black candles floating in the air. I was conjuring bats from thin air to flap around when all of sudden I felt nauseous. I ran to the bathroom just in time to throw up.

It was weird because I hadn't felt sick at all until just then. And as soon as I was done heaving, I felt completely normal again. I shook my head and went back to decorating, blaming it on leftovers that had been in the fridge too long.

Sirius didn't come back until later that afternoon, which in itself was kinda weird. He usually wasn't at the Potter's for longer than an hour and he hadn't said he was going anywhere else. But I was just glad that he was still in one piece to care too much.

"Wow, this place looks great." He said, sliding his hands around my waist as I put cobwebs in the corners of the living room.

"Thanks. I thought we could use some sort of distraction and it _is _Halloween. I mean, if we can't throw some sort of party, the least we can do is pretend that we are." I replied, turning to look at him.

"That's true," He said, laughing and pecking me on the lips. "Hey, look, I've got to go check on Wormtail tonight. I won't be gone more than half an hour- it's just that he got into a spot of trouble and he's laying low. I told him I'd come by later to make sure he was alright."

"Okay- need company?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"Nah, it'll just be a quick looksey and then I'll be back to have my way with you." He replied, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Well, then, I shall be awaiting you." I said, shaking my head at him.

But it didn't quite work out that way.

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Sirius left the flat at seven sharp and by eight he still hadn't returned. I was starting to get worried when there was a knock at the door. I opened it and Remus was there.

"Remus, what-" I started to ask, but he cut me off.

"Joie, where's Sirius?" He asked, urgently.

"He went to go check on Peter. He said he'd only be half an hour, but that was an hour ago." I said, thoroughly confused. "Why? What's happening?"

"Voldemort found James and Lily. C'mon, we've got to go!" He said, grabbing my arm and apparating us to Godric's Hollow.

The sight we beheld we horrendous. James and Lily's house was torn to shreds and there were people all around shouting and screaming and crying. It was chaos, but all I cared about was getting to the house.

"We're too late!" I said, moving various pieces of debris out of my way.

"We don't know that- they could've gotten away." Remus was saying, following closely behind me.

"No, I don't think they did," I said, stopping dead in my tracks. At my feet was James' lifeless body. He deep brown eyes were wide open with absolutely no emotion- they were just blank.

"Merlin!" Remus said, but I was already moving farther into the house. I found Lily under a fallen wall. She was in the same state as James and I couldn't stand to them this way.

"Remus, how could he have found them?" I asked, turning to where he was a few feet away. "Sirius would have _never_ told where they were."

"I think he would have Joie." He said, quietly. I just stood there looking at him, shocked, for a minute.

"Remus, this is _Sirius_ we're talking about. He was like James' twin!" I exclaimed, my voice getting louder and louder.

"Yes, but can you really be sure that he wasn't a double agent just pretending to be on our side. I've my suspicions for a while now." He replied, shaking his head sadly. "And he _was_ their secret keeper. There's no other way."

"No! I won't believe it- he would rather die than give up where they were." I screamed, angry tears spilling down my cheeks.

"Look, Joie, I know you don't want to believe it, but-"

"Don't Remus! I know him better than that and I thought you did too!" I said, angrily. "Now, if you don't mind I'm going to go look for him."

And with that I left.

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I searched all night into the next morning, but I couldn't find Sirius. I couldn't believe that he turned them over. After all, wouldn't he have done it a lot sooner than he did? I mean, we'd known about the prophecy for well over a year. It just didn't make any sense.

By that afternoon, I'd given up on finding Sirius and was heading back to the flat when a commotion caught my attention. There was a large group of people crowded around an opening and as I pushed my way to the front I couldn't believe what I saw. There was Sirius- and he had Peter, as well as a dozen muggles- backed into the wall of a building.

"Don't deny it, Sirius!" Peter was shouting frantically. The muggle cops were just standing by, looking on helplessly, and I could already see Aurors apparating around them. "You sold Lily and James out! You handed them over to Voldemort!"

"What kind of bloody bull shit is this?" Sirius yelled back. "I should have never trusted you Wormtail! Never!"

"I can't believe you're trying to pin this on me! Me, one your best mates!" Peter shot back. And before anything else was said there was a big BANG! And then, once the smoke had cleared I could see the bodies of the muggles lying there- dead.

"Sirius Black! You are under arrest for the murder of James and Lily Potter, as well as the casualties you have just cause." A deep voice from behind me said. I turned and saw Kingsley Shacklebolt coming through the crowd. Sirius turned and looked at Kingsley and then turned back to the remains of the building that had just been blown apart.

"I didn't murder anyone," He said, but didn't object when Kingsley cuffed him. "In fact…" His voice trailed off and he seemed to be thinking about something. Then, he started laughing, maniacally. "Of course! It's so simple!" He said, still laughing. I tried to say something, anything, but no sound came out of my mouth.

I watched as they took him away. I couldn't believe this was happening. James and Lily were dead, Peter was dead, Remus thought Sirius was a spy, and Sirius was probably headed on a one ticket to Azkaban. It seemed to me that my whole world had just fallen apart in the less than twenty-four hours.

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I found myself at Hogwarts a week later, arguing with Dumbledore.

"He's _my_ godson! He should go to me if he goes to anyone!" I shouted at him.

"I understand your concerns, Miss Emerson, but he will be much safer with his aunt and uncle." Dumbledore replied, looking over his half-moon glasses at me.

"Have you ever met Lily's sister? Cause I don't think a sane person who has met that horse would ever place any child with her!" I retorted slamming my fist on his desk. "Look, he'll be just as safe with me! Honestly, I disappear from the face of the Earth if I have to!"

"Joie, why are fighting so hard for this?" He asked, calmly.

"Harry is the only thing I have left- he's the closest thing to family." I said, quietly. "Sirius is in Azkaban, Remus just disappeared on me, and well, the rest of them are…" I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"Look, I know it seems that way, but Joie, you have to trust me. This is for Harry's best interests. He will be safer with his aunt and uncle than anywhere else." Dumbledore said. I looked at him for a few minutes and then caved in.

"Fine, but they better not hurt him." I said, firmly.

I stalked out his office and went back home. I felt so completely and utterly alone. I just sat staring at the wall for what felt like an eternity. An owl tapping at the window broke me out of my reverie.

_Miss Josephine Emerson-_

_It is with the deepest regret and sorrow that I inform you of this terrible news. Your father has been killed in the line of duty. We are sorry for the loss of your family and would just like to say that he was a great man and a great fighter._

_Sincerely,_

_The Australian Ministryof Magic_

I set the letter down and resumed my staring. Now not only were three of my best friends dead, so was my father. One of my best friends had upped and left with no explanation of where he was going and the one person I depended on the most was locked away in a place that gave me nightmares just thinking about it. I was truly alone. I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to get through my life without them.

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The next month was hell. I didn't want to get up the morning, but it seemed like clockwork that I would anyways at around seven. I was either sick or nauseous and I had the weirdest cravings. Like for peanut butter- I'd never really liked peanut butter all that much until very recently. And I felt like I was carrying a lot of extra weight around- it was starting to show, as well. So, finally I decided to get checked out by a healer at St. Mungo's.

"Well, Miss Emerson, you're not sick. In fact, you're as healthy as can be." The healer said, looking me over. "But, I think I might know what the problem is. Just one quick spell and that will tell me for sure." She added, and she whipped her wand out. She waved it around a bit and all of a sudden the area around my stomach glowed a light pink.

"Well, my suspicions were right," She sighed and the light went away.

"What does that mean?" I asked, very confused.

"Miss Emerson- you're pregnant."

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**A/N: **well, here it is everyone, the last chapter of this story. I hope you have all enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. thanks to everyone who has read it and everyone who has reviewed, you have made this all worthwhile for me. I'm not quite sure when the sequel for this will be out, as I like to be about four or five chapters ahead of where the updated story actually is. So, depending on whether or not words start to flow from fingertips it may be a while. But I will definitely have it up as soon as I can. anyways, as always, please review and thanks for reading my fic:p


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